Getting Ready To Give Up !!

[Chooch0566]

CP (aka, babies momma) is causing way too much stress and strife in life...she recently called DCYF on my wife because daughter came back to her with a scratch on her shoulder and told BP that it was from a towel that my wife threw at her ... lie.

CP, doesn't make anything easy .. whether it's todo with complying to visitation or me being able to take my daughter on vacation with me for a week .. it's ALWAYS a fight ..

Does anyone know what's involved in reliquishing one's parental rights ..

Please respond .. this is chewing on my mind and I'm about to go crazy !!

Chooch0566

[Stepmom0418]

I know your frusteration!! I know its hard! How old is daughter??

I suggest getting you and your wife into some counseling just for your own sanity!

Please dont give up on daughter just because the CP wants to mess with you and your wife! Fight her every step of the way! Tooth and Nail!!

Your daughter needs you and in the long term I think you  would regret a decision that terminated your rights!

Feel free to PM me anytime you or your wife need to talk to someone!

[Chooch0566]

Daughter is 4 years old ..
apparantly we have a situation here where my daughter is telling us one thing and telling her mother another ...

CP is making it very difficult, and now is at the point where she does not want my daughter at the house anymore because of the problems CP is and continues to create.

It's come to the point of .. it's either my marriage or my daughter that I choose ..

I'm seriously loosing it !

[Stepmom0418]

Ok daughter is 4. My daughters also did this same thing. Telling dad one thing and me the other.........just an FYI my daughters were telling me what they thought I wanted to hear and dad what they thought he wanted to hear.


This is in no way your daughters fault. Sounds like maybe your wife should come on board here at sparc for some suggestions and some help in dealing with some of the issues. There are plenty here that are willing and able to help.

I am divorced and remarried.
From my first marriage I am CP and father is no longer involved with the 2 girls.
From my 2nd marriage Dh and I have a boy and a girl that live with us.
Dh has a son from a previous relationship (never married)
So we are CP to 4 and ncp to 1


Dh's ex has tried alot of crappy stuff and yes the thought has in the past crossed our minds to terminate parental rights. BUT, who wins.......not ss and not Dh ..........BM would win! Aint no way in he$$ Dh is gonna let her win at SS's cost!!

As for your daughter ..........who would win???

Again feel free to Pm me if you feel the need. I will listen and help the best i can but i still feel that you would regret it in the end.

[Chooch0566]

I know that I will regret it in the end .. but in order to maintain my sanity AND my marriage, I think that this is the only way ...

Give CP what she wants and when my daughter is old enough .. I'll still be there for her, when and if she comes looking for me.

The stress and strain that this is putting on my wife and my marriage is incredible.

[dadinffx]

DONT DO IT! I am in a very similar situation. BM is intent on making my life and my wife's life a living hell!. Your daughter should come first...she is your blood. When your wife married you she knew there was baggage and she accepted that. A little girl needs a father in her life it is very important!!!

[Chooch0566]

I know that if I were to , I would regret it.  So, How do you suggest decreasing the DRAMA ?  This woman's sole purpose in life is to make my family's life miserable ..

[Ref]

1.Do everything in writing and sent certified.

2. Have someone less emotionally involved proof read your letters and translate the letters she writes to you.

3. If you have talk over the phone, record all conversations (make sure to notify her of this, if your state requires it)

4. Find ways to avoid BM - Go directly to school for that info, Dr's for that info etc...

5. Follow everything in you agreement to the T.

6. Don't expect to get anything more than what your agreement. Keep asking but know that you are 99.9% likely not to get it.

7. Learn how to deal with her being horrible to you. You will not change her being a crazy b*tch but you can change the amount of power she has over you.

8. Be the co-parent that you would want her to be. You have to look yourself in the mirror every day.

9. Keep posting on this site (we are good proof readers here too). We as a collective have seen everything and can help you know what to do or at least warn you on what you shouldn't do.

10. Take care of yourself. This means surrounding yourself with family and friends that love you. This isn't easy and you will need the support.

Take Care
Ref

[reagantrooper]

OK I hear what you are saying! Now hear me!

ARE YOU F***ING NUTS?

Get these weak thoughts out of your head NOW! If your current Wife is not being supportive DX her not your Daughter! If she is saying she does not want your Girl at your house I think you should be looking at her motives. Is she making the situation worse? If my current wife pulled that crap I truly belive I would tell her to hit the road.

A Daughter is a Daughter for life. A Wife is just a Wife untill the Divorce!

Fight and keep on fighting for your Girl dont F***ing give up!!!!!!!

Good luck to you!!

[FatherTime]

Ref hit it right on the head.  I went through much of the same *&(^%$(.

At all pickups and dropoffs, take a witness.  Let her see you writing in your log book, record all pertinent info.  If she sees you writing, she will be cooler.  She will know that she might have to answer for her actions.  

Don't get upset.  It gives her power.  Just be cool and record everything. If she sees you recording pickups she will wonder what other records you are keeping.  *see timetrackker or Optimal.*

I can tell you one thing too.  Never give up.  It is worth it to your child.  It will help your child feel confident and loved.  

Sincerely,
FatherTime