What do we need to bring to the school to get records?

[WhatToDo]

We tried writing the school to request my fiance's daughters records, etc. but have heard nothing back. We were thinking we would go into the school in person tomorrow morning and ask about it. He doesn't have her birth certificate so what else should we bring with us to be prepared?

[Ref]

Bring a copy of the court order showing that he is not barred from the information. You can also print out the FERPA regulations and any related state regs and highlight where it says that you may have the info unless barred.

You my want to check to see if there is any information on the school district's webpage regarding records access and see if the student handbook has anything on it. That way you can point to their own rules to tell them that they need to supply you with the information.

I also recommend walking in there with a smile on your face and be a cordial as possible. You will be dealing with these people for years and that could be an asset or a liability to you and your child depending on how you carry yourself. Walk in there like it is a fact finding mission. If they say that they can't help you, smile and ask who can.

I think the best way to get information, at least in my experience, is not to request the school but to request the school and cc the superintendent and send both letters through a service (FedEx or UPS) or ceritified.

Best wishes!

Ref

[WhatToDo]

Thank you! We'll see what happens tomorrow! Wish us luck!

[reagantrooper]

Not sure what state you are in but in my state of NH ones Parental rights are assumed. So it would be up to the School to produce documents showing that a Parent does not have rights to any info as oposed to a Parent haveing to produce a document showing that they have the rights.

[Ref]

we found it was just easier to show them the docs upfront to speed things along. Otherwise you tell them that they don't have the right, they say they do, you show them the FERPA laws they have to contact their lawyer...........

I just don't think it is benificial to fight that fight.

best wishes,
Ref

[gipsy]

My Atty told me to go to the school and be really nice ;And show them I am not like the psycho tells them , [Knowing ]  She usually talks bad about me to every one and tells them to not cooperate ,
     And It was apparent that she did talk bad about me ,

SO   I was nice and it took a couple of times of being nice , And Guess what ? The school teacher made a [quiet ] Comment about how I'm Not getting cooperation from the mother ;
    And began being very nice too me : And when Other people see you their talking and being nice then you will get along just fine ,
   Thats How it is now ! You just have to be nice untill this happens ,
      Because of this big mess we all picture this as another mess , We get worried etc,
   Here is exactly what My atty told me to say  !
     Go Ask for the record from the school , And  be prepared to show them a copy of the parenting plan . And say their is "nothing that prohibits me from The record "  
And Don't get mad if they don't give you the record right then ,
    Just say "I will leave you with a copy of the parenting plan ". "And you could go ask who ever you need to ask then we will deal with it from there" , " If you would like I could have My Atty send you a letter telling you it's Ok "
   Be very nice and say " Would you like to ask some one now or should I come back later '
   I have never had to come back later " However Sonya "  The principle  gave a friend of Mine . Whom Is A little more aggressive, a real hard time <
   This has worked at the school  And Doctors , They have allways cooperated , And by Being casual about it . School and doctors have indicated that they know the psycho  is an obstacle , One of the nurses Said , "Some one always has to be such a jerk in these cases "Of course We know she wasn't talking about me !

[FLMom]

In my experience I think that school officials are just befuddled. They don't want to put themselves into the position of doing something illegal, but they don't always realize that the first parent they meet is not always doing things on the up and up. I mean, in a rational mindset, who wouldn't want the other parent involved?

When my ex moved and enrolled our youngest two in an elementary school, he neglected to put ANY information about me, their mother. When I called the school I was told that I wouldn't be allowed any information---not about classes, school start times--nada.

After fuming for an hour or so, I realized that it wasn't the school's fault and that I shouldn't be irritated with them. They were just going by what my ex had told them and the way he had filled out the forms.

Imagine the school's suprise when I showed up there the next day, court order in hand. Not only that, but it also just happened to be a week during the summer that the kiddos were with me. Of course I had the kids wait outside during the conversation. The principal was aghast when I showed her the court order showing joint custody. I found out everything that I needed to know right then and there. I went on over the next few years to do everything from classroom PTA liason to numerous field trips and classroom parties. Funny thing is, the ex never made it to any of this stuff.

One other thing that you have the right to is copies of all of the paperwork that has previously been filled out and is in your child's folder. It was interesting to see how my ex had just deleted me from our kids lives on paper. Thinking with that rational mindset again, you'd think that if a child got hurt at school or was sick, you'd want as many phone numbers as possible, right? But ex's don't always act rational. So not only can you check these forms to make sure your info is included, you can also get a copy of them as they are filled out now. Ex's atty was not a happy camper when this information came up in a discussion.

Just be as pleasant as punch when you go to the school. It's not their fault that they've been swayed by the other parent's manipulation. Along with the court order and the HIPPA documents, you could also bring a folder on the side showing where you've previously signed report cards in another school, volunteer worksheets from another school, any pics you may have of class parties or special functions, and if you are on good graces with you child's former teachers maybe a note from them that you are an involved parent. Save the folder for last just in case they still don't believe you.

If they still balk after all this, just ask who the lawyer is that handles the school district's legal issues. I've seen a phone call from one lawyer to another get a lot more done than spinning wheels with school officials.

Good luck!
FLMom

[WhatToDo]

Thank you for all this advice. I don't know if any of you read my other post but my fiance' called the school and they said that his daughter was only enrolled for P.E and music and the rest of the time she was homeschooled. When they received his letter requesting his daughters info, the principle called his ex to ask her about it. She got really upset and said that "Maybe my daughter won't be going there anymore." THe next day, my fiance's daughter wasn't in school. The principle said he would try to contact my fiance's ex and ask her what was going on and then call my fiance and let him know. The principle said that even if he didn't get ahold of the ex, he would still call my fiance' to tell him anything he knew. So the school seems willing to cooperate with us, so that's good. We are going to try to meet with his daughters teachers and at least find out how she was doing prior to her mother pulling her out of school.

This whole situation keeps getting worse and worse...