New at this, what should my expectations be?

[steveh]

To make a long story short: I am living in S California, my son and his mother are living in Kansas, but she is looking to move to Arkansas or Missouri.
I feel I'm being jerked around by her, but I really don't know what my rights are, how often I should be able to visit my son, if I have any say in where she takes my son. I need to know what is realistic.
We have been working at this for 11 1/2 months, but I feel she is being manipulative and very controlling. She says she wants me to be with my son, but she doesn't make it easy. She planned his birthday without consulting me, and says it will be amny years (5 or 6) before he can spend the night with me without her being present.

Should I just call a lawyer - my hope is it won't come to a court fight - to start a process, or are there baseline expectation I can use to negotiate my wants with her.

Any feedback is welcome.

[mistoffolees]

I would suggest consulting a lawyer - at least to find out what your rights are. Even if you decide not to go to court, knowing what your rights are would be helpful.

The key factor to consider is who has custody. If custody has not been determined yet, you should file for joint custody RIGHT AWAY.

If it has been determined and she has sole custody, then she can pretty much do what she wants unless the court has defined your visitation arrangements. Without specific orders from the court, the custodial parent is entirely within her rights to go wherever she wants and make whatever arrangements she wants.

However, even if you don't have custody, you'll still have rights for visitation. Sadly, what constitutes reasonable visitation is open enough that you probably need to get the court to settle it.

If you have specific legal questions, you can always check the Socrateaser board.

[reagantrooper]

If you plan on being there for your Son YOU need to take action NOW!!

[steveh]

Up until recently I really believed we were going to work things out fairly, however, she continues to make decisions without my consent, and now this move, which will make it much more difficult to see him. She printed out a Parenting Plan from the state of Kansas but we never filed it. Is that what I ned to do?
My concern now is if she will agree to give me joint legal custody. I plan to talk to a lawyer on Tuesday just to get some idea of what rights I have, and to get an idea of what my next steps should be. I have to be honest, I don't trust lawyers, it's seems to be more about the money than anything else with them. But I certainly need some guidance in this matter.

thanks for the advise

[reagantrooper]

Damn right its all about money and they will take all of yours before all is said and done. Just be damn sure the one the takes yours is a VERY good one. Be

Not sure of your whole story but you should consider moving to Kansas because getting her to move back may prove difficult. One you have your Parental rights estabished make sure you have a "no move away" clause.