visitation/child support

[kids05]

my situtation is a little different than most non-costodial parents, the ordered visitation is not followed, but its in favor of me.  the original order was everyother weekend and one night a week.  but for the last 2 to 3 years its been every other week-end and three nights (that includes friday) to make a long story short I have them 1/2 the time the ex does. But I still pay the same amount for child support.  I really can't afford a lawyer.  I thought about seeing one just for the consoltation.  I have been told that the ex will probably just want to return to the original order.  When I found out how much I would have to pay for cs I told my lawyer I would not be able to live on my own, he told me that most men find another women to help support them.  Well I had to move in with my parents and they help quiet abit.  I couldn't afford to buy diapers baby food.  So my question is, what should I do, does anyone think my cs should be reduced?

[mistoffolees]

Yes, it should.

But your attorney is right. If you go to court to have the support reduced, she can simply force you back to the ordered visitation.

So which do you value more--the time with your child or the support money?

[kids05]

thanks for your coment, yes you are right, of course its my kids, but I think, although not sure my ex's income has increased.  since the divorce she has moved 4 or 5 times last time she purchased a home, has had 4 or 5 vehicles.  Me had to file bankrupcy, car had to go bank to the bank, just now got another car after 2 years and its a strech to make payments.  but yes my kids are more important, but it just gets to ya after awhile.  I read all the time how the court rules in the best interest of the kids.  Wouldn't the fact that the kids are with me half the time for the last few years be in their best interest?

[ocean]

You could go for a modification to the visitation first. Would your ex sign if it was just stating what you do now (do not bring up child support)? Or do both at the same time? Petition the court for modification for visitation and child support. This way she can not file against you. Be prepared that she pulls the visits from you until court...but she will look bad by taking away the visits. Of course anything can happen in court too....

[mistoffolees]

That's certainly a different issue than you described.

If your financial situation has worsened a great deal and your ex's has improved, you can certainly argue for a reduction in support. But it's extremely likely that as soon as you file, you're going to see less of your kids. In the end, you might get the reduced support, but then you'd be hoping that she lets you go back to your current time with the kids. Somehow, that doesn't seem likely.

In an ideal world, you might be able to get support reduced without losing parenting time, but I can't see how it's going to work in this case. Your best shot is to do as the other person suggested - and first file for a modification in visitation to get the court to recognize your current situation and then later as for a reduction in support. The problem is that to get the court to change visitation, you need to show a significant change in circumstances - and that doesn't seem likely. Just maybe, they court would accept that as the status quo, but you face the same problem - as soon as you file for modification of the visitation order, your ex will stop giving you the extra time and by the time you get to court (3 months or more in many places), there will be a new status quo - which will be exactly the same as the original order.

Unless your attorney knows some way around this, you're going to have an uphill battle.