DEALING WITH GAL

[snaab93]

Hello, I am currently dealing the GAL about custody and placement issues.  I am going for full custody and placement even though at the current time the Mother and I share both of these.  
Here's the scoop, recently the Mother lost her 2 yr old child to her boyfriend by "shaken baby syndrome".  He's in jail as we speak and being tried for murder in the first degree.  The police charge him while he was in jail for probation issues.   The 2 yr old child isn't mine, although we share custody and placement of two older boys (7 & 6).  She was pregnant with this other child while going through our divorce and had him shortly after the divorce being finalized.  
Anywho, she protected her boyfriend by telling the police that she was home when her 2 yr old child fell down the stairs and suffered a head injury.  This poor child spent four days in the hospital before the plug being pulled.  Coincedently she wasn't there when they did, she was at near by bar.  The child was pronounced brain dead upon admittance to the hospital.  They didn't understand why it took her so long to bring him in.  As it turned out, she wasn't even at home while this "accident" occurred, and the police aren't going to charge her for obstruction of justice.  The GAL finds this whole thing shocking and disturbing.  Our two boys seem to be having difficuty dealing with this, especially the 6 yr old.  He's in therapy which I wasn't even aware of.  The Mother never even consulted with me about this.  It turns out he's been in therapy for nearly a year, I just found out last week.  Also, the 6 yr old took a pencil and stabbed his teacher with it and dragged it down the teacher's arm, approximately 6-8" long.  The whole reason for this was because he told the teacher that "mommy is putting bad thoughts into my head, she's making me do bad things" and quote.  The teacher replied, "no she isn't.  I wouldn't believe your mother would do such a thing".  Again he told the teacher, and again the teacher told him that she wouldn't do such a thing.  That's when he stabbed him.  He kept telling me that the teacher wouldn't believe him.  All of this has been documented by the school which he attends and the GAL has been notified.  Copies have been also given to the GAL and all he has to tell me is "i am not ready to just hand the kids over to you".  
I could understand if the mother and I were in similiar situations but we're far from it.  She doesn't have a steady job much less any income to spit at.  She also has been incarcerated on several occasions in the past two years and she's relocated her residence at least 3-4 times in the past two years.  The person that was bringing in the money is now in jain and being tried for the murder of her 2 yr old child.  
I on the other hand am going to graduate from Nursing in May 04' and currently working in a Nursing Home with a great wage.  My wife is a Manager at a Fortune 500 company who also has 15+ years invested in this company.  Together we bring in nearly 60,000+ and own 3 bedroom, 3 stall garage with a full finished basement.  The childeren each have their own rooms, their own toys, computers, video games, etc.  We've also been married for nearly six months.  We are extremely secure in our surroundings and our relationship.  We do not argue in front of the KIDS and we try to make it an adventure with each and every visitation.  
The visitation schedule is also screwy.  One week we have them M, W, F, S night.  Next week we have them W, Thur night.  Then back to week one again, rotating as follows.
THE PROBLEM IS, I don't feel the GAL is taking this case seriously enough.  With the actions of my 6 yr old, I fear for his well - being each and every time he is with his mother.  The KIDS are late and absent from school on her days, she doesn't even drive due to losing her license for 26 months for her third conviction of DWI.  The KIDS grandmother takes and picksup from school.  Along with picks up from visitation.  Rarely does the mother actually show up.  With all these things going on,  how can I convince the GAL this is more serious than he is treating it?  

[TGB]

[a href=http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips1.htm" target="new]Document! Document! Document!!![/a]

See the "Custody Evaluations" section of the [a href=http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/articles.htm" target="new]Articles[/a] page.

Get copies of [a href=http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/records.htm" target="new]Court Records[/a] on the DUIs and the shaken baby case. Get copies of the school records including attendance records and show who had the children on the days they were late or absent. Point out that missing too much school is like trying to read a book with every 4th page torn out. It doesn't take long to get completely lost and frustrated.

If the GAL doesn't decide to give you custody, you need to have enough solid evidence to show the judge that the GAL is totally out to lunch on this one.

[StPaulieGirl]

I have yet to experience a GAL, but I'd like to say something about your 6 year old.  

If you and your wife ever plan on having children, that kid needs to be as far away from your family as possible.  Sociopathy is contagious, and that poor kid caught it.  I'd take the older one, and have the 6 yr old institutionalized.  Cold?  I have a 16 yr old.  I also have daughters who are 24, 21, and 9.  They all have the same father, as does my son.  The older girls have been telling me to dump the kid off on his dad....like a sack of trash.  I have personally witnessed him manipulating psychiatrists, pyschologists, and good hearted teachers.  I just don't know what to do with him.  

Here's the latest example.  I have some heath problems, and last week I was throwing up blood.  I told the kids to walk home from school(not that far).  I was in bed, and the boy came in and held my hand while he was jacking my cigarettes!  I'm sorry, but that boy of yours is a bad seed.  Let his mommy deal with him, and always know that his behavior will be your fault.

Sorry:(

[anastasia]

We had a GAL which only was making us aware of the payments.  By that time we were living in FL and we just moved to CA. She saw my Step-daughter (SD) once and talked to us twice.  On X-mas of 2001 we were supposed to have my sd for 10 days.  The mother called the airline and changed the departing date from FL and gave my name.  When my husband received the confirmation he tried to change it to the original date agreed in court but the flights were too booked.  Two days before my sd had to fly to Fl, the mother called my husband and told him that my SD was sick and had taken to the Dr. and he said theat she could fly.  We called the GAL, and she called the Dr., and he denied have saying that.  We lost already two days from vacations. So we arreanged again for the next day so the girl could fly.  The mother took my sd to the airport and called the GAL and told her that my husband had changed the departing date from Fl.  My husband tried to change it again, we made a three way call with the airline and the GAL.  They explained her that even though he pays with credit card that moment the change wouldn't be done until the next day.  In a three way call with my husband and the mother, the GAL asked the mother if she had the money and my husband will send it Federal Express, she daid no; "no credit cards", "no"; "Does your husband has a credit card that you could use", "no and if the change is not done before the girl get into the airplane, she is not going to FL".  Of course we could change it and my SD didn't spend X-mas with us.  At the end the GAL blamed my husband for all that.

After that we couldn't afford to go over with the case and my husband filed for bankrupcy and put her in teh bankrupcy.

My advice; keep documentating all those situations until the judge could see it.  In the meantime begin to educate your self in regards to family laws.  And unless we begin to make noise, the system won't listen to us and our children are going to be caught in the middle of the bureaucracy of our system.

I wrote my case to Dr. Phill'sShow and I'm pretty sure that if he keeps receiving all kinds of letters about this kind of cases, he will take it to TV and I think that's a good start.

Good luck.  

[snaab93]

Here is what was in the Green Bay Press Gazette today, 11.29.03.  I thought it was very disturbing.  As we continue to monitor what is happening, I just keep getting more and more information.  CHild Protective Services is coming to my house on Thursday next week.  She wants to interview my complaint that I filed and see the living situation of where the boys spend 1/2 their time.  
Please give me your spin on this whole situation including the CPS.



Detective: Donley said he shook toddler, panicked
By Andy Nelesen
 [email protected]

In a quiet voice, his head buried in his hands, Patrick Donley admitted to an investigator that he shook 2-year-old Sawyer White and panicked when the toddler didn't regain consciousness.

 That's according to testimony by Ashwaubenon Public Safety detective Scott Schermitzler at Donley's preliminary hearing Friday in Brown County Circuit Court.

 Authorities were called to St. Vincent Hospital on Sept. 3 for the toddler's head injury, which doctors thought may have occurred under suspicious circumstances. They later determined Sawyer had bleeding in his brain, and he died a few days later. An autopsy revealed injuries consistent with shaken baby syndrome.

 Donley, 33, of Ashwaubenon, is charged with first-degree reckless homicide. If convicted, he faces 60 years in prison.

 Bolstering Schermitzler's account of the Oct. 28 conversation he had with Donley were 12 pages of transcripts, taken from the audiotape that recorded the jailhouse interview. Schermitzler spent much of Friday's hearing testifying about what he learned from Donley that day.

 Donley originally said Sawyer's mother, Teshia White, was home when the boy got hurt — apparently from falling down carpeted steps that led to the basement. Schermitzler told Donley that he knew he was lying and that Sawyer's mother wasn't home. Schermitzler told him he wanted the truth.

  "You know good people let accidents happen," Schermitzler said, according to transcripts of the interview, "and you know, sometimes things happen and, you know, good people make mistakes, but the injury that (Sawyer) sustained doesn't match up with falling down the steps.

 "This is going to kill you, Pat, emotionally. You've been holding stuff and you're hurting; you're hurting and you're not a bad person, I know that. And you didn't mean to do anything to Sawyer. You didn't mean to hurt him. You didn't mean to do that. Am I right?"

 A short time later, Donley changed his story.

 "I'm not sure why exactly, all the other BS ... I shook him and he just got limp, and I don't know," Donley told Schermitzler.

 "I'm pretty sure he woke up crabby and the minor stuff I don't remember."

 When pressed for details, Donley said he was shaving his head when Sawyer woke up.

 Sawyer was "not so much crying as yelling around and throwing a fit," Donley said.

Schermitzler asked if Sawyer was looking for his mother, and Donley responded: "I'm not sure if that's what he was doing ... or if he was just being naughty. You know, he's a 2-year-old ... they don't want to listen."

 Schermitzler asked Donley to explain the bruise on the boy's head.

 "Yeah, he fell down. I set him down; I set him down kind of roughly," Donley said. The toddler didn't stay on his feet but rather fell over and hit his head, he said.

 Donley said he never told the boy's mother the real reason for the injuries but added that she helped create a story to cover for the fact that Donley was alone with the boy.

 "I didn't want to hide anything ... and I'm not trying to blame anybody or anything here," Donley said. "Because nothing is nobody's fault. But I believe that all of this has gone along this far because (Sawyer's mother) was trying to protect me from whatever kind of trouble I would be getting in or whatever, because I'm on probation.

 "And we talked about it several times and this is the way we were going to do this."

 At Friday's hearing, Donley's lawyer, Mark Rosen of Waukesha, pressed Schermitzler about how he came to interview Donley in the Brown County Jail. Schermitzler said he learned from a third party that Donley wanted to talk, something Schermitzler confirmed with jailers before returning to the lockup.

 "I was interested in the truth and that's it," Schermitzler said. "If he wanted an attorney, I was not going to stand in his way. I was going to leave."

 Friday's preliminary hearing was adjourned and more testimony set for Dec. 12. Donley remains in the Brown County Jail in lieu of $250,000 bail. Rosen asked that Donley's bail be reduced to $15,000, which he said Donley's mother would post, but Brown County Court Commissioner Lawrence Gazeley rejected the move and ordered bail unchanged.

[StPaulieGirl]

[p]He's being railroaded.


"You know good people let accidents happen," Schermitzler said, according to transcripts of the interview, "and you know, sometimes things happen and, you know, good people make mistakes, but the injury that (Sawyer) sustained doesn't match up with falling down the steps.

[p]Ohhh, that's good.  Words fail me.  A certain type of attorney could make mincemeat of of this detective.  Paging Johnny Cochran...

[p]
"I was interested in the truth and that's it," Schermitzler said. "If he wanted an attorney, I was not going to stand in his way. I was going to leave."

[p]Didn't anyone read this guy his Miranda rights?  I'm not saying that if the child was abused that there isn't just cause for prosecution; however this officer violated the father's civil rights. Bears sh*t in the woods, the Pope is Catholic, Hillary is the AntiChrist...


[p]Just watch out that some sb with an agenda doesn't show up Thursday.  Other than that, just scrub the house, reorganize your cabinets, wipe all the little fingerprints off the door jams, and throw a pie in the oven.  Be relaxed looking.  If an inappropriate question is thrown at you, ask the worker to repeat it.  It'll give you time to think of an answer.  

[p]Good luck!

[snaab93]

My lawyer just talked to GAL to see how it was going.  A court date has been scheduled later this month for status of this case.  GAL told my lawyer he doesn't see any significant changes at this time to change or warrant the change for custody and placement.  

My lawyer had to remind him that the biological mother (BM) lied to the police about the death of her child, plus she hindered an investigation, also she tried to protect her boyfriend from the police.  On top of all that she is now planning to move AGAIN.  This will be her fourth move in the last two years.  

Child protective Services were called and they said there was nothing they could do if the children are not being harmed.  There isn't any evidence that harm has been placed on the children from the mother.  My 7 year old son is saying things like, " I hate mommy" and "Her house is scary and she's always mean".  While my 6 year old son is saying things like, "I want to kill mommy and Frank (fictious name) and go to heaven" along with physically attacking teachers at school.  If he does it again, the school is talking suspension.  

With all this going on, GAL doesn't see any physical evidence for change in custody and placement.

Need a little help here folks, any feedback would be appreciated.


ttfn,

snaab93

[StPaulieGirl]

What's wrong with that GAL?

Regarding your 6yr old...does the mother have a personality disorder?  It sounds like she's pretty much antisocial.  Did she use drugs while pregnant?  Is there anything like that on either side of the family?  This sounds really serious.  The problem is trying to find the right therapist to diagnose whatever is going on with your son.  Watch out for bedwetting, cruelty to animals, and setting fires.  All I can say is to have your kids examined by a forensic psychologist, if possible.

I don't understand why the GAL doesn't equate all the other facts vs actual physical evidence for change of custody.  Just the fact that a child died under suspicious circumstances, and the mother covered for her bf is plenty of reason to get those kids out of there.

I would do my best, for your own safety, to do everything you can to have that boy examined.  They don't grow out of that behavior.  If you get custody, you have to know what you're dealing with.  You're lawyer needs to get a bit more agressive.

Good luck and God bless you.

[snaab93]

The BM doesn't have a personality disorder that I am aware of.  She's actually  a social butterfly when she drinks.  She didn't use drugs, nor drink during the pregnancy.  I can't recall any type of disorder on my side of the family.  On hers, her mother and father drink.  They normally have beers on Friday nite and get tanked every so often.  

There hasn't been any bed wetting, but kicking the dog came up once or twice and hasn't happened again in over a year.  My youngest one is talking about starting fires but there are no matches or lighters in the house.  

The GAL stated "I don't want the death of this child to be the focal point of change in custody and placement".  He also stated that point in itself isn't enough to warrant a change either.  

Thank you for your support.

[snaab93]

With all the documentation that I have, my lawyer recently talked to GAL which he stated he doesn't see that there's enough information to have the custody and placement changed.  We have a court date later this month which he plans on telling the judge this.  What else could I do that sways his decision otherwise.  My lawyer had to remind him that the BM lied to the police about the death of her child, covered up the fact that she knew what happened and tried to protect her BF, and also took the boys fishing with the killer a week after the funeral which the boys attended.  

I am really getting frustrated with the system and visions people are missing here.