Are we being finicky?

[hisliltulip]

Ok, as many of you know from my post last week, my DH won sole physical custody of his youngest son.

We have since received papers from the judge and there is a huge red flag that I think I have caught....

Basically, the Judge said that DH gets custody because he is more stable of the two financially.  BM hasn't held a job for more than a few months in the past four years, and never anything over 20 hours per week.  She has lived off of CS, state aid, and mooching off of friends and family, just to not work.

For the past year and a half, the temp order was in place for each parent to have child alternating weeks (Sun-Sun).

The final order came back with DH having physical custody with BM having Tuesday nights to Thursday nights and every other weekend.  I've done the math, each parent still gets him for seven days in a two week span, but now he'll change beds 6 times in fourteen days.

Soooo, let's say she finally gets her act together in the next couple of years, then takes DH back to court.  He may legally have physical custody, but they will both have had the same amount of time.

Am I worrying where I shouldn't?  I'd hate to have gone through all of this for her to get the extra time needed to take custody away from DH.

Please let me know your thoughts.


Beth

[ksswthrt74]

The final order came back with DH having physical custody with BM having Tuesday nights to Thursday nights and every other weekend. I've done the math, each parent still gets him for seven days in a two week span, but now he'll change beds 6 times in fourteen days.

I counted BM would have him 6 days every 2 weeks..not 7 days...
Tues,Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat,Sun.

Does she return him on Sun night or  take him to school on Mon AM?

IMHO would think that she would have to be doing really, really good for the Judge to reverse it.  I would just keep track of everything. She may end up not taking him regularly,etc.  Lets see.  

[joni]

You're taking baby steps.  I know it's difficult to push the judge to give dad everything.  Document anything she screws up.  If she does take you back to court, you can use your documentation to haunt her with her own actions.

[hisliltulip]

"I counted BM would have him 6 days every 2 weeks..not 7 days...
Tues,Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat,Sun.

Does she return him on Sun night or take him to school on Mon AM?"

Monday AM.

Here's how I counted it..

T, W, F, S, S, T, W.

DH would have M, TH, M, TH, F, S, S.


My guess is that she'll screw up getting him to school on time, because she isn't exactly Ms. Responsibility.  But either way, he'll have to bop around for atleast a while.  It's unfortunate, because he hates going back and forth so much.

Beth

[hisliltulip]

Oh we know to do that!  We documented everything, that's why DH got custody.

[tulip]

Has she been spending all of her time with him in the past? W/O dh's cs $$ where is she going to live? I assume that since he won custody, he no longer pays support to her.

One thing that is very importantly in your favor is the current custody order. She would have the burden of showing a significant change in circumstances if she wanted custody changed. That means she would have to really buckle down and commit to providing her son with a loving and stable home, and prove that she had been doing that for quite some time, in order to get a judge to even consider a change. Now, a loving and stable home at both mom's house and dad's house seems to be what most kids need right? So that would be a good thing for your ss, but wouldn't really mean she could take custody away. More likely, if she could prove herself after a very long time she might get joint custody.

How old is ss? I'm thinking bm must live pretty close to you if she is able to bring him back and forth to school right? Your dh now has custody, so is he under any obligation to keep the child in the current school? Can he move 40 miles away and put him in a different school anytime he wants? I know bm can't, not if she doesn't have custody.

Don't worry so much about her becoming a better mom. Having a better person for a mother is the best thing that could happen to your ss. That doesn't mean she can just take him away. YOU WON!

[hisliltulip]

"How old is ss? I'm thinking bm must live pretty close to you if she is able to bring him back and forth to school right? Your dh now has custody, so is he under any obligation to keep the child in the current school? Can he move 40 miles away and put him in a different school anytime he wants? I know bm can't, not if she doesn't have custody."

SS just turned five.  He's currently attending preschool in the same town that she lives in (we live 5 miles out of town).

We're actually closing on a house the end of the month, that is about 35 miles away, but are not moving until May or June.  (To keep the boys in the same preschool).

Since we're moving before he starts kindergarten, the new house is only 35 minutes away, and there is nothing in the papers about us not being able to move, our attorney has said that she won't be able to say a thing about it.

BM has been "supposedly" living with relatives the past few years, but has been known to move out often to be with whatever new fling she's with...  Then after a while, she moves back to her relatives when it doesn't work out (funny, guys seem to be sooooo strange in wanting a woman that doesn't cheat..).  She and her current boyfriend just got an apartment about a month ago, we'll see how long this one lasts...

As of right now, CS is still being garnished from DH's check.  I've sent attorney an email asking if DH needs to talk to MNDHS or if he's going to take care of it.  Attorney has not responded yet.

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I know it's a giant leap for DH to have sole physical custody.  I just tend to always be on my guard with this woman.

Thanks for your insight, it helped.

BETH