Alright guys, help me out here.........

[Kitty C.]

This will be my last weekend with my SS.  This is just breaking my heart!!!  There's NO way I can break down and cry when I give him a hug when he leaves on Sunday, or DH will wonder why.  So I MUST bite my lip and suck it up.  But this poor kid has two totally dysfuntional parents and it just kills me to think of what his future holds.

I have to tell his teacher the week we move (she uses me as a contact person for DH, since he works on the road) as I think she should know, in case she sees SS having problems and can't figure out why.  I also would like to send him a card at school (they have a 'postal system') eventually, to tell him that he had nothing to do with my leaving his dad and that there will always be a special place in my heart for him.

If I can just get thru this weekend, I'm sure DS and I will be okay.  But I can hardly hold back the tears right now, thinking about having to walk away from that boy!

[nosonew]

OMG Kitty!  This is sooo tough on you I am sure.  Won't say I know how you feel, I don't.  Well, sort of, as my dh and I divorced for a while then remarried, but, your situation is different.  

Just hang in there, perhaps you can talk to him after the fact, at school, have lunch?  

I do SOOO understand not letting the ex know about leaving, I did that with first hubby.  If I hadn't just up and left, I would have had to call 911. (Had to in the past for LESSER things...).  So sorry, hope all is well, and check in soon!

[Brent]

Hang in there, Kitty. I'm willing to bet that you'll see him again. I Know things are tough right now, but with time these situations almost always get better.

[FatherTime]

Just to let you know...even though there are valid reasons for you to hold back and not cry....There are valid reasons that you can cry.  

It's ok if you cry when he leaves.  There is no shame in it.

I know that you want to be strong though.

May God bless you.

[forthekids24]

You never know, after everything settles down PBFH might not see you as a threat anymore and actually encourage you and DS to keep in contact with SS.

If she doesn't, you have seen him at the store before, I am sure you will again. :-)

My prayers are with you, DS, and SS!!

[MYSONSDAD]

You are not walking away. Things are just 'on hold' until they can be sorted out. If it's possible to keep in touch with him or how he is doing, do it.

The love is there, NO ONE can take that away. There will always be the bond between the two of you and someday, he might just be on your doorstep.

I am sure that he also has a special place in his heart for you...

Hang in there, prayers going your way

Ever hear the old saying 'God only gives you what you can handle'

[gmaoftwo]

(((((Kitty)))))!!!  I don't know what to say.  With everything else that's been going on with you and DS, I had kinda forgotten about SS.

Try not to see this as a permanent parting this weekend.  Just believe that you WILL see him again, and as another poster said, the love will always be there.  Maybe you feel helpless that you won't be a regular part of his life....since you're the concerned, rational parent.  But you can keep in touch with him through school.

I understand.  Every time our grandkids get ready to leave, after their visit with our son, I'm sickened by the thought that we may never see them again.

It just sucks!!

Still praying for you and DS!!!!!!

[StPaulieGirl]

Kitty, as long as I've been on this message board, you've been fighting for your SS.  If we know that you love him, don't think he doesn't know.  I don't know how old he is, but I do know that you both live close to each other.  You watch, he'll stay a part of your life because of how much you love him.  Wait and see.

You should let his teacher know what's going on.  The little guy will need some support, and sending him a card or a note will definitely make him feel better.  Too bad you can't file for custody.  You're the better parent....

Hang tough in "public", but let go in privacy. Scream and yell if you have to!!!  Hang in there, Kitty!!!

(((big hugs!)))

[joni]

.

[MYSONSDAD]

Maybe custody is out, but have you thought about visitation?

Some states are recognizing step parents as being a valuable part of a child's life...

I would also talk to your firends on the 'force' and see if they can keep an extra eye on him.

[Kitty C.]

Now what would I do without you guys to vent to and lean on????

FTK, as crazy as it sounds, you may very well be right!  As crazy as she is, she probably won't see me as a threat anymore!  Which makes me wonder about something else:  the time we finally run into each other after all this.  Bet you dollars to donuts the first words out of her mouth will be 'I told you so.'  Cuz right now, she's scared to death to talk to me, guess I 'intimidate' her too much, LOL!

But if she ever confronts me, she ain't gonna know what hit her, cuz I WILL tell her that she may have divorced SS's father but SS did NOT!  That I think she's a sorry excuse for a mother to use her child as a weapon to get back at her ex and the ONLY person she has hurt in the process is SS.

We live in an EXTREMELY small town.  And SS is only 1 1/2 years away from middle school, where a very good friend works as an at-risk coordinator.  Between that and DS seeing SS when he gets off the bus at the elem. school in the afternoons, I know we'll still see him, just not as frequently as we used to.

Funny, but as small as our town is (and with them living only 2 blocks away), it's amazing just how little I see them/her as it is.  But then again, she doesn't get out into the community much.  Way too self-conscious of her severe speech impediment due to her hearing loss.  And she does a lot of the same with the rest of her family.

Nine days and counting, then DS and I are on our own.  Going back is NOT an option, unless DH gets some really intense counseling and therapy.  And considering how I know him and his family, that would take a miracle.........

[sweetnsad]

It's difficult, I'm sure, but know in your heart that things will surely work out and get better with time...
Prayers and hugs to you and your family...

[VeronicaGia]

Dang it Kitty!  I haven't been around here too much and had no idea you and DH were.......dang it!   I feel just awful.  You know how much you are liked around here, we'd do anything we could to help!

As far as SS, kitty, you give him your phone number, your work number, an e-mail address, your home address, anything and everything and MAKE SURE he knows he can contact you ANY TIME DAY OR NIGHT!  You make sure he knows YOU are there for him and, while you can't interfere with parenting issues, he can ALWAYS talk to you.  Set up a yahoo e-mail address for him if you have to, something he can access from a library or a friends house.  Make sure he knows he is not the problem....

Kitty, I'm so sorry.  Major hugs and prayers have been sent your way.

:(