sociopath

[wildcherry57]

My brother married a woman in March who was oh so sweet ( and pregnant w/his child).  After the marriage she became evil incarnate but he stuck it out b/c of the child, who was born in Nov. (yes, he had a paternity test). On the advice of his atty he took the baby when she was 3 weeks old and filed for divorce.  They now have temporary custody arrangement of every other week.  He wants full custody because he fears for the child's wellbeing, but it is seeming impossible to prove.   I have several questions.

1) Should he request a psychiatric evaluation - no doubt she is a sociopath, but would that affect custody?
2) Does anyone know a great attorney in Honolulu?
3) He lived in a condo for a month while she lived in his house.  She stole thousands of dollars worth of furniture and electronic equipment, including the cable tv box and internet modem - cable company will not restart his service til he pays $735.  When accused, wife says he stole his own things - compulsive, but effective liar.  Can he file a civil suit? Report it to the police?  Can he request a search of her new apartment?
4) She lied on marriage app - stated 2 previous marriages, when there were really 4 (all wealthy, nice men whom she settled with for hundreds of thousands of dollars.)  We believe lying on marriage app is a felony, but DA said they would not prosecute - not important enough.  Can it be prosecuted?  Would this deception affect custody?

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

[Indigo Mom]

-----1) Should he request a psychiatric evaluation - no doubt she is a sociopath, but would that affect custody?-----

I've never had experience with psychiatric evaluations...many here have.  I cant be certain, but if it's done, your brother is going to be going through it as well...i think.  Why is she being called a sociopath?

-----2) Does anyone know a great attorney in Honolulu?-----

No, but if you don't mind a houseguest, I'd LOVE to visit Hawaii!  LOL

-----3) He lived in a condo for a month while she lived in his house. She stole thousands of dollars worth of furniture and electronic equipment, including the cable tv box and internet modem - cable company will not restart his service til he pays $735. When accused, wife says he stole his own things - compulsive, but effective liar. Can he file a civil suit? Report it to the police? Can he request a search of her new apartment?-----

There's nothing at all wrong with living in a condo.  I did for 4 years.  About this cable/furniture mess...she's saying he stole it.  Who's name is all of it in?  If it's in his, then yes, technically he stole it...even if she has the stuff.  Cable TV isn't important in a home, so I don't think that outstanding debt is going to fly in court.  Now, if all these things went on his credit, sure he can file a civil suit...but does he have proof she took those things?  One thing I'd like to say...if it's "rental" furniture, and it was in his name...he can be arrested.  My daughters father was for not returning a couple of movies.  I didn't think that was possible, but he was arrested for "stolen rental property".

-----4) She lied on marriage app - stated 2 previous marriages, when there were really 4 (all wealthy, nice men whom she settled with for hundreds of thousands of dollars.) We believe lying on marriage app is a felony, but DA said they would not prosecute - not important enough. Can it be prosecuted? Would this deception affect custody?-----

 I don't think that will matter, either.  

Now, let me know about my visit to Hawaii, ok?  I'm cold!

[nosonew]

Wildcherry, glad you came back!

First step would be checking out his current atty's history, has he/she done alot of custody cases?  What were the outcomes?  THis is going to take a very knowledgeable and aggressive attorney.  

It can't hurt to make a police report, but given the time since it occurred, I don't know what they will do.  I would suggest make a report and tell the detectives (if they investigate it) that he believes the property is at ____ location.  He will also need proof that he bought these things in the first place.  Otherwise, she can just say she bought them, and if that doesn't work, she will state they were gifts from him to her.  Another trait....so will it make him look bad by waiting? Possibly, so he needs to weigh the facts, and talk to his attorney about how to proceed.

It is always (if no abuse) for both parents to be involved in the childs life, so perhaps the 50/50 is best.  Hopefully that will continue and perhaps she will tire of having a baby around "interfering with her life".  I would also suggest that your brother ask for "first right of refusal" which means that if she is unable or unavailable to care for the child, he gets first dibs before using a babysitter or someone else.  If he does this, it will work both ways.  

Good luck!

[wildcherry57]

Why is she being called a sociopath?
Many reasons - no conscience, has hurt many people, doesn't care, only goal is to get as much money as possible from people.
Has accused 2 men of abusing her - beat herself up, used her makeup artist skills to convince police.  One in San Diego had to go to jail and spent $ 30,000 on defense.  The other was in GErmany and police didn't buy it.
Told my brother he needed to get a second job because he didn't make enogh money - he makes over $100,000.  Refused to speak to him after the marriage - they communicated by e-mail only.  She needs to be married to get US citizenship, so she told him if he was going to divorce her to let her know in advance so she could find a new husband.
She told him early on she did not want him in the delivery room.  The night of the delivery she left him a message that she was babysitting for a friend  overnight.  Turns out the dr. had told her that day she would be delvivering within 24 hrs. - it was 5 weeks early.  Called my brother 2 hours after the baby was born.  When baby came home, would not let him near the baby.
Is a know former prostitute - not sure its former.
Spent child custody  dental money on her own boob job - asked my brother to pay $3000 in dental work for her 17-yr old daughter shortly after marriage.  
Will do anything to get money.
Furniture - owned by him.  No proof that she took it,  but he does have receipts and photos.  The proof would be to find it in her possession.
When he moved back in his house after a month it was filthy and there was some damage to walls and floor.
Hawaii - well, maybe if you'd like to babysit a 3-month old girl every other week!
Does the wife sound normal to you?

[Indigo Mom]

In my opinion, sociopaths are THE most dangerous human beings one can encounter.  Just because you "think" she fits the description to a "T" doesn't mean she is one.  However, from what you describe, she sure sounds like one.  Goodness....

You're kidding me about the "make up" to appear beaten and bruised?  Please tell me you are...because if you're not, then I'd have to say...you live in a REALLY screwed up place for the police to fall for it.  My Gawd!!!!!

Could you tell me how long she's been in this country?  Don't you have to be married to a US Citizen for 2 years...or else the marriage will be considered a "marriage of convenience"?  I'd seriously consider reporting her to INS.  She does have a green card, right???

If she's a "known" prostitute...call the police.  They do "stings" all the time for prostitution.

If she used 3k for "boobs" then your brother best stop sending her money.  How insane!  He should be supporting and having parenting time with his child...but no money should be given to her.  If she's not working, she can get medicaid...or something like that to cover the dental for HER 17 year old.

I'm sorry I was mistaken about the furniture...for some reason, I thought it was rental furniture..scratch that part in my last response.  Since he bought it, he needs to call for a "police escort" to go to her home WITH THE RECEIPTS.  The police won't remove anything without "proof" it's his...if he has no receipts, he has to take it to court...btdt when my ex wouldn't give me my things.

'bout this vacation to Hawaii...sure, I'll take care of a 3 month old every other weekend if it means my silly butt can dip the piggies in the ocean every day!!!!!!

And no, the ex does NOT sound normal to me....

[wildcherry57]

You're kidding me about the "make up" - serious.  As I said, the guy finallyl got off $30,000 - that was in San Diego.

Could you tell me how long she's been in this country?  As far as we know she's been in and out.  The last arrival was about 18 months ago.  They had to go an atty in March of 2003 before they got married and to the INS.  The problem with INS is the baby - they say if he reports her the marriage will be invalid, baby will be considered bastard, and mom and baby will be shipped back to Czech.  He's hoping to get custody and then get her shipped back, but she may run before then.  Court did confiscate as many of her passports as they could find and ordered her to remain in Honolulu, but she could easily flee.

If she used 3k for "boobs" then your brother best stop sending her money - that was husband number 3 - past history.

Good idea on the furniture - I will definitely tell him.

New development - the pharmacy called and told bro there was a prescription for the baby,written by a dr. on a military base that brother does not know.  Bro calls pharmacy and they say it is for mouth thrush, but the dose prescribed is way too much for a 3-mo old baby and they won't release it.  Dr. signature on prescription is illegible.  Very strange - bro gets baby on Sunday and will take her to the regular pediatriciain on Monday.

This woman is unbelievable - you never know what bizarre thing she will say or do next.

We've considered having a family member go and take the baby to the mainland for her safety, but suppose Bro would be put in jail.  Any way around that?

Thanks for the interest

[tapdad]

Bummer on the Hawaii attorneys, I'm afraid.

My sister went pro se (it was pretty much uncontested) and my cousin didn't divorce until he got back to the mainland, so he didn't have an attorney there.

Anyone else have an attorney worth recommending in Hawaii?

  - Tappie

[Indigo Mom]

Has there been a DNA test done on this child?  If she's a floozy, possibly a hooker...what makes you think this child is your brothers???

It JUST hit me today....you may want to file a paternity action and get him a dna test.  I can't believe I didn't think of this until now.  

If she's a serial money grubber, what if the kid isn't your brothers, but she's raping him for all this cash?????

[wildcherry57]

He did the DNA test as soon as the baby was born.  Fortunately or unfortunately, he is definitely the father.
I think the Mom knew exactly what she was doing to make sure he was the father.
Great idea, though!  Keep the ideas coming!

[wildcherry57]

Hey thanks for the effot.  At least you tried to help a total stranger and it is appreciated.

[Peanutsdad]

It sounds as if the psych evals would do some good in ya'lls case. BUT, they get done on both parties and typically, the requesting party ends up paying for both.

Prices for this range all over, from 500-15000.

But, I still think it would behoove dad to get them ordered.

No joy on finding a attrny in town that will work with him?

If he cant find one that will work with him on the money, perhaps he CAN find one that will proof his documents for him and advise him on a limited basis as he works pro se.

[Peanutsdad]

One other thing, if he gets the psych eval ordered, dont refer to the bm as a psychpath. Psychiatrist hate when laypeople diagnose.  You arent qualified to make that kind of judgement or diagnosis. Simply state her behavior to the doc, let him do the rest.

[wildcherry57]

Understood, thanks.  You sound like you have experience with psych evals. My brother is rock solid - no worry about his eval.  We are wondering if wife could fake being normal since she has fooled so many people into marrying her, false police charges, etc.  Can drs see through these people's lies?

[determined]

1.  Many of these social workers and shrinks are easily fooled (although not any easier than us husbands, so we may not be the best judges).

2.  As long as they are getting paid, there exist shrinks who will testify as to the stability of "patients" at the same time as they are prescribing handfuls of pills per day for.

3.  Forensic psychologists are "trained" to look through the lies.  Nothing is perfect, but they may be your best bet.  In my case it wasn't cheap, but I do feel it was effective and helpful.

[wildcherry57]

Do you mind telling me how much it cost?