Is this worth the paper it's printed on?

[hopeful dad]

I live in Maryland as does my ex-wife. She was give sole custody of our son at the time of our divorce. He is now 14 yrs old. She called me and asked if I woud consider having him move in with me. He was adopted by us at age 3 and considered a 'special needs' child. She recieves a check from the social services ($670 a month) as well as child support from me. She felt in was in his best interest to move here because he was having so many problems in school (close to 20 suspentions this year) as well as being agressive and angry at home. I agreed because I felt I could help change things for the better. She sent a note to me stating " Joshua * currently resides with his father Gary *. Gary has all rights permitted to him as custodial father" All handwrittened and signed by her. He has been with me over 2 months and is doing excellent in school, no detentions or suspentions, and a much improved mental attitude. Even with her note, proof of his enrollment in school, and residence with me, it appears that nothing has changed as far as me being the physical custodial parent. I have recently filed a motion to modify original custody order, and have it changed to me. She has indicated that she will contest this. Why the sudden change you might ask?? She is still recieving the check from the social services..child support and the tax break..and doesnt have to deal with any of the day to day stresses of a teenagers life. Good enough reason if you really don't care about the childs best interest. She knows she stands to lose all these things if I'm granted physical custody. Where is the justice in all this..she now says she will have him back before she gives up that check! I'm afraid to let her have visitation..she may just take him back, even though he says he wants to live with me.

[Brent]

1) If the child is doing well in his current environment, don't allow him to be uprooted yet again. You have an 'established custodial environment' and that carries some weight in court.

2) The hand-written papers may or may not be worthless. They do show intent, and that may have some validity in court.

3) Judges don't like to see the child's residence and school changed at the whim of a parent.

4) Get an attorney ASAP. Also start documenting everything- school grades, time spent with the child, emotional attitude, etc etc. Everything.

See the pages below for more information. Some of these pages will apply more than others, but they all have valuable information.

One of the first things you'll hear is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is crucial, and these pages will help get you started:

Protecting Yourself During Divorce
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/protect.htm

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is better.

[nosonew]

Is there anyway you can back off and wait six months? I believe most courts recognize a 6 month time frame as a permanent living situation, and are less likely to send him back, although with the other documentation with school, etc., that should help.  Im sure others will have more advice!