my son is with me full time now!!! visitation issues remain

[maxwell]

First, thx to all who participate on these boards and offer advice, ete.

I won't go into my entire story but last June I was awarded joint custody of my (then) 4-month old son (every other week).  Since then BM has done alot of things to warrant me to take her back into court (second temporary hearing). E.g., not met with GAL (its been 9 months), moved in with boyfriend who has DUI and was married at the time, home eviction, not properly medicate my son when ill, lied to court, violated some of the original order, her own lawyer quit because she ignored his advice and not paid him nor the GAL, possibly tainted drug test, not taken ordered psych eval, recently moved and didn't inform anyone, etc.).  BM filled the court with lies and the Judge grilled her - she even denied her b/f living there (or staying over) and the Judge pointed out I had a PI report (and video) proving he did/was. She also moved into his home residence last week yet denied to the Judge that he lives there. (The Judge pointed out that I can bring a Contempt action against her and warned her of the possible penalty if I do.)  BM was ordered to directly go to get drug tested (as we cannot figure out where all the money is going and GAL suspects drug abuse) and I'll find out today if she ended up going or not.  We didn't even have to bring up the criminal activities.

I was awarded full custody!
We hope to get a final hearing scheduled very soon.
I am very happy and relieved - as now my son can start to have some stability and safety in his life "each" week.

I posted the rest of this on the "Visitation" board as I need help in figuring a solution.
---------------------------------------
   I (dad) was awarded full custody of my son yesterday at the 2nd temp hearing and Mom has supervised visitation that the Judge said we can work out (this case is in SC even though I reside in NC). She is ~2 hours away in SC and I/we need to figure out how to get an independent 3rd party involved every other weekend (day time) for her to visit. I am sure she will want me to drive my son to her but I will not do that. I will not involve my family nor do I trust her family to supervise. I am trying to contact Social Services here in NC but not sure if you had any advice, etc. I may end up having to use a weekend daycareHACK> or Nanny but I don't want to incure the expense myself either.

  Any ideas on how to do this?

thx,
m

[Kitty C.]

Way to GO, maxwell!!!!!!  Another child WINS!  I know how hard you've worked on this, and how many times you came here despondent with all that was going on.  Congratulations for sticking it out and being the hero to your son he already knows you are!

As for the supervised visitation, there are centers set up specifically for that, and it would cost her to use it.  You drop off the child there (or stay in another part of the building) and she sees the child there under supervision of a qualified, objective person.  Anyone know of any of these in NC or SC??

[maxwell]

Thx. It has been a very 'surreal' experience but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He means so much to me.

I called Social Services in Charlotte, NC and they referred me to a place but they don't offer the service anymore. Since I am close to the border of SC and and the case is there, I'll try looking there.

She is going to not want to pay for the service but I don't see why I should have to.

[Kitty C.]

Just make sure that it's ALL in the court order:  who drives there, who pays for it, exact times, etc.  That way when she refuses, she can dig her own grave.  EVERY time you show up and she doesn't, make sure it's documented.

[maxwell]

>Just make sure that it's ALL in the court order:  who drives
>there, who pays for it, exact times, etc.  That way when she
>refuses, she can dig her own grave.

  Thats the weird thing - the Judge was very unclear.... leaving it up to the parties to decide. My attorney was instructed to draw up the Order (guess the Judge reviews it later) so I'll ask him about adding these details.
Good advice - thx!

[DecentDad]

Hi,

I don't have any ideas for how to handle the supervision, but wanted to say AWESOME work on this!!!  I remember your first post back during the pregnancy, and it's a testament to your will and devotion as a dad that you got this far so fast!

Congrats, Maxwell!  

Your son may never have a clue how much you had to endure for his first year, and he may never know how blessed he got to have a dad like you when his mother is like she is... but you now begin to reap the reward of an ever increasingly deep relationship with him!

Chalk another one up for "best interest" finally coming to light!

DD

[Tennessee Dad]

I just wish, now, I had went after my daughter when she was a baby; instead she is now 6, and we are fighting it out!  There is no reason a Father cannot be a good, custodial parent; especially when BM has problems, as yours (and mine) obviously has.  

Just take care of that little man!

[skye]

North Carolina Supervised Visitation Center

George Bryan
[email protected]
SCAN
500 W. Northwest Blvd.
Winston-Salem NC 27105
336-748-9028
//www.exchangescan.org

Heidi Stewart
[email protected]
The Family Visitation Center Group, Inc.
P.O. Box 7524
Asheville NC 28802
828-225-0740

Susan Wilson

Sue Schumachera

George O'Neal III
[email protected]
Triangle Family Services-Supervised Visitation
116 N. West St., Suite 250
Raleigh NC 27603
919-839-2286
//www.trianglefamilyservices.org

Daniel Lebold
[email protected]

Sybil Mann
[email protected]
30th Judicial Domestic Violence - Sexual Assualt Alliance Inc.
P.O. Box 554
Waynesville NC 28786
828-454-5082

Morgan Dow
The Family Center
P.O. Box 35458
Charlotte NC 28235
704-376-7180

Larry Gillespie

Chris Teat


hope this helps a little

SKye

[MYSONSDAD]

Major Congrats!

You have inspired me that there is hope somehwere down the road.

Best wishes for you and your son.

"Children learn what they live"

[Peanutsdad]

Congrats Max,,


Your case was much like mine,, and ended with the same result,, except, I didnt get the supervised visits on her.

Now, just keep your child safe, dont back off the supervised until she straightens up. You shouldnt have to pay for the supervision,, she should. Every other parent I hear of with supervised has to pay the centers ,, why not her?