My kid's flunking third grade!

[antonin]

1. My ex filed for divorce in 9-01. She snatched daughter and moved 65 miles away.
2. She enrolled daughter in an inferior school district with lousy state scores: Daughter was scheduled to start first grade in a Montessori school. That of course did not happen.
3. During the FOC evaluation, I stressed the fact that daughter would do better in school district where I lived or in the Montessori school: this fell on deaf ears.
4. I have had 50/50 custody of my daughter since Oct 03. I moved 65 milles to where daughter lives and commute 130 mi RT each day to work. I have tried and tried to help her, but two years of this lousy school system have screwed her up along with two years of mother never helping her with her schoolwork, etc.
5. I went to parent-teacher conferences tonight.
6. My daughter is about 30% below grade level.
7. I found out through the teacher (mother attended a separate conference earlier) that mother wishes to hold daughter back a grade. Daughter is in third grade. Mother claims daughter has been struggling since first grade. (After telling FOC evaluator that the schools daughter was in were "good" schools.) Mind you, daughter can pass third grade: it is the mother's desire to hold her back, not mandadted by the teacher.
8. I knew this was going to happen.
9. Mother has no idea of how a child is educated or how they learn
10.  I have several degrees in education, have taught for 30 years, and can't believe the crazy generalization the mother makes when discussing daughter's school.
11. My plan is to enroll daughter in a Kumon or Sylan center starting now and see where she is at at end of summer. I think mother will go along with this.
12. I am concerned with the psychological effect on my daughter if she finds out in August that she has flunked third grade.
13.What are your thoughts?
Have any of you had kids that were held back? How'd they turn out?