Should I?, Could I?, Would you?

[georgeburns]

Hello all,

Haven't been on here in a while, but wanted to bounce something off the minds of the masses.

I have been divorced since 2000.  Since that time my daughter has lived with me.  She is 6 now.  We have joint legal and joint physical.  Her mother's visitation is on the first weekend of each month.  She has never used it.  Not once.  (Note: we live far away)  She has not yet paid any child support (44 months).   Over the past four years she has called about 7 times, sent 2 cards, and one box (stuffed toy, cheap doll, winter gloves in the middle of the summer).  That's about it.

Since our divorce she got arrested for fleeing and eluding the cops, she spent a night in jail, became a convicted felon and is currently on probation.  She has moved about 10 times in the last 4 years and never notifies me as per the decree.  Every time I need her signature on some joint legal matter, I have to search for her all over again.

I am considering going back to court to modify the physical custody from joint to sole, raising the child support (currently way below the 20 percent state standard), and filing for numerous contempt charges.

I'd back my case with the following:
1. Never exercised visitation
2. Rarely calls
3. Never paid child support
4. I have problems getting things done for daughter because I need BMs signature.
5. She is a felon (with possible drug and mental problems documented by police report)

What do you think?  Should I? Shouldn't I? Am I an idiot for not doing it sooner than now?  Is this strong enough for the courts?

Any help would be appreciated.  Thanks.

[littlebit]

Definite yes to getting sole custody.  There seems to be no reason not to.  If I understand your post correctly, BM has not seen daughter in 4 years.  So you should have no problem there!

As for contempt of court...will you be charging her for missed visits or failure to pay CS?  Consider what you wish to gain with contmpt charges, and how realistic is it that your wish will happen.  If you're trying to get back CS and she has never paid, is it likely that contempt will make her do it, or are you spinning your wheels in vain?

If your motivation is to punish her for not being involved with daughter, what will you gain? What will your daughter gain? Or if you are trying to 'make' her get involved, how realistic is that considering the history?

Personally, I think I would lean towards sole custody and forget the rest of it.

LittleBit's Dad

[patton]

Welcome back George,

You and I have the same Judge in the same county if you remember.  The same Judge is still there.

As far as child support, I would contact the Texas AG office they will file for you on the C/S issue and they will take her to court. Takes them 4-6 months to get the ball rolling and into court though.  I started this in February and court day is below.

I go June 18th, the AG office is suing Mom for non-payment of support, so we'll see how that goes.  She does exercise visitation sporadically, but has only ever paid one C/S partial payment.

[georgeburns]

Thanks for the info patton.  Please let me know how it goes on the 18th.

[imajerseygirl]

Sounds to me like you have a winning case...hands down.  It sounds like it's best for you and especially for your daughter.  I think you are a great dad, and IMHO..I"d go for it!

Good luck!!!!!
Cathy

[STV]

I would file for sole custody and full legal. You've done w/o the child support and it sounds like it would be a fight to get it. Do what is best for your child and get the sole custody and full leagal. This way you can completely let go of the mother and you can just tell your daughter a nice story as to why she is gone. Then 8 years down the road when she has her act together she may be fit to visit and the daughter will have no bad feelings for her mother that you have planted in her head, she will come up with them all on her own.

Peace

[NeverGiveUp]

I know a dad that lost his job and couldn't pay the 3K/month CS+Alimony.  They told him to sell everything he has, borrow from friends/family, or dig it up out of the ground, but get the money or go to jail . . . .

Hmm . . . double standard??

[Bolivar OH]

Woooah,, a Dead Beat Mom.  According to the courts and newspapers that's like a UFO.  It doesn't exist.

Child(ren) need positive parenting.  Sounds like there's only one in your situation.  Take responsibility and protect them from the negative influences of drugs and crime.

File for sole custody.  Once that is settled, take care of the money problem.

[georgeburns]

Thanks for everyones support.  I guess I am just worried that if i go back to court, she might actually show up and try to counter somehow.  I don't have much time when I am in the area of the court and would have to be able to handle everything withing two weeks.  Again, thanks to all that have replied.