Opinion anyone?

[StepmomInSC]

just wanting some opinions

my hubby and I are in a custody battle for his two children.  We have two of our own.  Last summer we got temp custody of his 11 yr old son.
He was constantly sick, failing school, depressed and had anxiety problems.  We have had him a year now.  He has never been sick, no longer has anxiety problems and was the #1 kid in his 4th grade class this year.  
Over the last year the mother has pretty much lost all contact with him.  She very rarely calls him.  We call her and she is busy and cant talk or just isnt home and never calls him back.  We therefore have very little of a relationship with his little sister (5).  He talks to his sister about 20 mins a week.  My hubby rarely gets to talk to her.  Mommy gets her off the phone if daddy gets on.

The 5 yr old failed kindergarten this year.  How do you fail kindergarten?

Ex has moved 3 times in 7 weeks.  SD has missed 45 days of school this year.  Mother has gone and gotten SD on disibility.  She has epilepsy and she has convinced all these therapists that she is learning disabled.  Mother has denied us visitation this summer.  She did last summer also but we were stupid and believed her when she said SD needed to be in therapy to get ready for kindergarten.  Lot of good that did....she still failed.

We are going to court in a few weeks hopefully sooner to get an order ordering her to bring her for the summer visitation or for an emergency change in custody.  Not sure which....waiting on decision from guardian on what we can do.

Does anyone know if we stand a chance on emergency change of custody?

here are the grounds

1) denied visitation for 2 yrs now of SD
2) mother has no relationship with son and has refused to take her summer visitation with him
3) constantly has SD to therapists saying she is disabled when medical Dr's say she is fine
4) has moved 3 times in 7 weeks.  left BF( who was the reason son was so unhappy) moved to parents. left parents and went to sisters cause didnt like parents telling her what to do.  Now is in public housing cause she hasnt had a job in two years and is working 16 hrs a week at 7$ an hour
5) financially she would clearly be better off with us.  We have a 4 bedroom house 6 acres of land two full time jobs for a total income of 60,000 a year.
6) SD failed kindergarten
7) the son is doing so well with us why wouldnt the daughter

thanks for any advice :-)

[RyCoSi]

I would not fool around with SD's welfare and I would just go for the emergency change in custody. If you have a GAL she will clearly see what a good job you guys are doing with his son. I think you have a very good case, just so you know I am in the process of becoming a GAL myself and I want you to know we are for the children only. It seems to me you have a very good case I would look up your state statues because here in Florida stability plays a big part in their decision for custody.

Sandy

[wendl]

I am glad to hear your ss is doing so well, sorry to hear sd isn't

I would try and get school records of sd, ask the school if they have tested sd for learning disabilities.

and gee how in the world can someone fail kindergarten, and why if mom wasnt working did she miss so much school (hmm I have a feeling why but wont say)

let us know how things work out.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[StepmomInSC]

thanks for the encouragement :-)
I honestly feel like the guardian is on our side.  Heck she has never been able to get in touch with the mother.  She has tried since September last year and has never been able to get her and the mother doesnt call her back. Im assuming thats a very good thing for us too.

[StepmomInSC]

We do have the school records.  She was doing ok at the first of the year and had progressively gotten worse by the end of the year.  So bad that they will not let her go to first grade.
She has been tested for learning disabilities through United Cerebral Palsy.  They say she is two years behind developmentally.  This was two years ago.  According to them she has made very little change.  That is part of our arguement also.  Why have they not gotten her any better if she is that bad.  We do not believe she is.  We think the mother just sets everything up that way cause she gets SSI and food stamps and public housing because of it.
The SD does have epilepsy thats the reason for the so called problems.
I just want this all to be over and my SD and SS to be together.  He cries to sleep every night at 11 yrs old cause he cant be with his sister.

gotta run
thanks for the opinion and I will definitely keep you informed.  We are waiting to find out if we have enough to go for emergency custody or if we can only get an order to make her give us our visitation so that we can then proceed with the emergency restraining order etc...thats what we had to do with the SS.

[Kitty C.]

Can you say 'Munchhausen's by proxy'?  If you've never heard of it, I suggest you research it.  If the mother has all these 'professionals' helping to treat your SD and she's only getting worse and not better, the red flag of MBP is waving hard.

Is Momma trying to look like the world's greatest mom to the professionals, showing such devotion and attention to her 'sick and troubled' daughter?  Classic symptom of MBP.........

[smtotwo]

I have an 11 yr old who has CP and is in  regular classes at school and is doing very well.  His IQ is above average, the only problem with the CP is that he cant do everything physically that his classmates do.

I also have a 20 yr old who has seizures and so do I.  I work 2 jobs and my son works and is also an excellent father to his 5 week old son.

CP needs therapy and epilepsy needs medication.  I'd be looking at medical neglect if I were you.

I don't get SSI for my son with CP and I don't get food stamps, welfare or any other assistance, we are capable of doing everything that
"normal" people do.  Don't let her let this child think she's not capable because of what the mother does and says.

Make sure you have documentation of EVERYTHING.

Good Luck.

One more thing,

                  Both CP and epilepsy or seizure disorders can be diagnosed
                  by and EEG and a CT scan.   My 11 yr old had both and so
                  I.  

[DK]

where in FL are you becoming a GAL

[StepmomInSC]

I hadnt thought about that but you could be right.  
SD's neurologist and pediatrician have both found nothing medically wrong with her in the last six months other than having the epilepsy.
Mother claims she has seizures every night in the middle of the night.  SD just had a 48 hr eeg last month and nothing happened.  They didnt see a thing.
The only people who say there is anything wrong with SD are all the therapists etc at UCP ( United Cerebral Palsy)
The mother is a con artist.  She is very good at convincing people that SD is "learning disabled and sick.

Wish us luck.  Our lawyer is talking to the guardian tonight about whether she will back us to go for Emergency custody.
If she wont then we will get an order inforcing the visitation.  Either way we will get to see her this summer.  Just a matter of how soon she gets to stay with us permanently.

[Kitty C.]

Drop the hint of MBP to your atty. and in turn maybe to the guardian.  If you can get her for the summer, I suggest you have healthcare professionals following her VERY closely, to refute and document that everything the mother has been saying is a lie.  This seriously looks like MBP and there have been kids who have been horribly maimed or killed because of it.  With her having epilepsy, this poor child could end up having brain surgery that could kill her.  And if the BM is claiming nightly seizures, heaven forbid what she'd do to the child to 'prove' that claim.

This is a crisis situation and should be treated as such.