How do I get prepared?

[wallyworld85]

For contempt that is.  I am not sure what I need to bring.  

For ie:  Do I bring ONLY things that pertain to the contempt motion OR can I bring in items that show she is not letting me be a part of my child's life

I have:

letter from principal stating that I am not listed as father on emergency contact info (BUT her boyfriend is listed under FATHER or male who resides in house).

 Letter from last year's teacher stating (after my asking how she was doing in school) that she wanted to hold her back (my ex told me NOTHING of this).

  Letters from teacher directed to her (but they ALWAYS send me a copy of anything that goes to her) stating my daughter has had over 25 TARDIES all of which were unexcused.  

Report card that says my daughter acts immature AND that maninly the reason for her falling behind is cuz of the tardies and absences.

2 letters (one my ex wrote in 97 another her mother wrote in 97) both of which were filed in a court (for her domestic abuse conviction against me) stating that I am a wonderful person and both think so highly of me AND both stating (my ex and her mother) that my ex needed counseling.  There has been another felony conviction for domestic abuse against my ex in 2001 and a restraining order was filed against her also.

the contempt is for visitation denial, no current telephone number, and it states that my ex did NOT notify me of a Nov emergency room visit.


What do you think?

[Peanutsdad]

Based on what you have written,, you have no case for visitation denial.


What you DO have, is a case for changing custody due to a material change in circumstances based on what is written here. With the letters, ( btw are they email or handwritten?), you MAY have a case for overturning a DV conviction, but its way weak on that. Was the felony conviction against your ex, or against you?

If you dont have one, I advise you to seek counsel with an attrny.

[wallyworld85]

>Based on what you have written,, you have no case for
>visitation denial.
>

Actually I do have a case for visitation denial.  I haven't seen my daughter in 1.5 years because of a pbfh.  I was denied my two weeks in the summer, her bday, fathers day, and xmas. I was in FL 3 times (once for mediation) and my ex wouldn't let me see her.  (actually she brought my daughter to mediation, but said that I couldn't take her b/c I wouldn't agree to her child support amount 4x what I pay now, I only got to hug my daughter)

 I was basically just wondering WHEN I go to court for contempt can I show how much ex has messed up in regards to my daughter and herself (the felony conviction is hers against her live in boyfriend at the time-- She hit him with a blunt object haning on the wall) (I will attempt for custody after I have more stuff against x) (basically if she still refuses visitation and child is STILL having prob. at school and I have 2 more contempts under my belt)

My ex gave her to me in 2002.  BUT WHen I found out the above domestic abuse charges and abuse allegations my daughter madeI went for custody (In IL) my lawyer goofed and b/c she hadn't lived in IL for 6 months (only 5) the pbfh got her back.  And ever since I havent been able to have a relationship with my duaghter because of her.

[Peanutsdad]

Now see? thats a whole lot more info LOL. If you look at your 1st post,, and then my reply to IT, you see a huge difference.

My question, is why go for another contempt? Why not go for the whole enchilada?

[StPaulieGirl]

I'd like to address your girl's tardies and absenses.  

First of all, my kids father was given photocopies of their report card every year.  Every time the boy was suspended, I emailed him.  Mind you, the behavioral problems with the boy started when he was in kindergarten, and his father and I were still married.

After he lied about me to his new wife, who happens to be an elementary school teacher, I got a visit from CPS.  They went to the school before they illegally walked into my home.  Ever since then, my daughter does not want to go to school.  I have to keep her home from school when she starts vomiting and tears are running down her face. This isn't only because of CPS robbing her of her security, but the teachers are running scared because their performance is directly connected to money received by the school district.  Read my posts on Shrink Rap and Dear Socrateaser.

What time does school start for your daughter?  Find out how many other kids are also "tardy".  At the school my daughter goes to, it's a traffic nightmare because the streets are old and small.  Hence, we may make it out of the house on time, but she's still late.  I went to that school for a few years, after my mom yanked me out of parochial school.  Vatican II :-) Going to that same school just made me lose interest in school period.  That isn't going to happen with my baby.

When I went to my girl's parent teacher conference, I got tag teamed by two teachers!  You see, my little girl has the mark of the CPS Beast.  that's ok, because after they decided to try and scare me, I quietly told them about all the school supplies that were bought before school started, and the fact that I've been a parent for 25 years.  (I started young.)  She's 9 years old, and they're doing peer review on essays.  I did that last year in my college English 1-A course.  I was uncomfortable, can't imagine how she feels.  Not to mention that none of them are capable of peer review at this point.

My girl is throwing up and tears stream down her face every morning.  This is bullshit.  My 24 yr old daughter(wish my son in law could show up) and I are going to pay a visit to the principal some time this week.  

School should be morally off limits regarding divorced parents shenanigans.  Education, and the desire to learn are too important for our kids futures.  

As to your visitation problems, keep at them.  Please don't invade your daughter's space at school.  I obediently kept my kids dad informed of everything, until it was neccesary to block his email address.

[Indigo Mom]

-----My question, is why go for another contempt? Why not go for the whole enchilada?-----

Because he ain't gonna get the whole enchilada.  Oh, stop yelling at me, lemme 'splain it, ya doof!

He hasn't seen the child in a year and a half.  You know as well as I do that the Judge is going to see that...the fact that his child doesn't know him anymore...as a "reason" to NOT overturn custody.  The judge isn't going to care "why" he hasn't seen the child...but that 18 months with no contact is what's going to deny him the enchilada.

He needs to file contempt each and every time.  Screw waiting til ya have enough "times"...do it each time.  

[long_day]

As a teacher I would recommend asking your child's teachers to keep you informed of any concerns that they have with your daughter's preformance, attendence, behaviour.  Most teachers have been put in this situation before, and I if approached by a NCP in a polite way I will try my best to involve them as well (I have actually forwarded a photocopy of a student's report card for one couple who were particularily at one another's throats).  Just don't expect us to take sides :)  That would be unprofessional.

[MYSONSDAD]

I think Indi brings up a very good point on this one.

If it were me, I'd go for the contempt. Bring all your phone records showing all the attempts you've made to call. Highlight them so they are easy to find. Any credit card statements showing your trips down there? Stop for gas? Food? Motel? The address might come up on your statement. Are there witnesses? I have heard that with enough contempts, things can turn around. But my battle is young yet, so I can not say from experience.

The Time Trackers work great in this situation. It puts all out there, easy to see. Calculates the time your missing.

I am going thru a simular situation. I get an Officer to witness and then file a report. And even with that, I keep a camera in the car and bring a witness. I am covering my A$$ with pbfh. Harder for you having so far to go.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[StPaulieGirl]

It's weird that arnie took over cali

[wallyworld85]

As my present wife is a third grade teacher I know NOT to try to get the teacher to take sides.... I have already bothered the principal NUMEROUS time (seeing if my daughter was enrolled, seeing if she was STILL enrolled and if they had a new # to reach my ex when her home phone was disconnected, asking for records pertaining to my daughter).  the teacher has been VERY understanding.  She notified me that my daughter has had OVER 25 tardies ALL being over 30 min.  AND all were UNEXCUSED.  She even said (in not so many words that my ex is rude when she calls for purposes regarding my daughter).  She also stated that my daughters behavior is HORRIBLE and her grades are slipping due to the over 30 min late tardies AND other unexcused absences.  The thing is my ex lives in Tally and HER parents reside in Pensacola.  My daghter stays with the grandparents a lot.  I think that is one reason for the tardies getting to tally late OR being pulled out early to go to pensacola.

As for contempt:  right now there is a motion in regarding the missed visitation asking for make up time and atty fees and HER providiing the transpertaion expenses.  

Can I bring with the all the other stuff mentioned early showing that my ex is NOT letting me be a part of my child's life to strenghen the current contempt charge?