Deperate

[lturbott]

My son is now in a custody case with his ex-girlfriend concerning their daughter, Jersey.  The case was originally filed in Tennessee when she left him the first time to marry a guy she had only known a short time.  When she was with her "husband" she filed custody papers.  After the fiasco of this first hearing, where she didn't show up until it was over, my son still did not have his daughter.  She then came back to him because she was scared of her "husband".  She stayed for a few months then decided she didn't want to get a job and work, because playing an online game was more important.  She then ran off to Mississippi when my son was at work the Friday before father's day.  
 
On this Friday, July 9th, 2004 he receives papers stating he has to be in Mississippi on July 19th.  In the papers it says nothing of the case already pending here in Tennessee.  We do not have resources for an attorney, but we are in desperate need of help on this matter.  
 
The mother is not a stable person as just the tip of this story shows.  There is much more to all of this.   I just wanted to give you some idea of what he is facing.  He needs help and fast.
 
Any help would be appreciated.  
 
Thank You
LouAnn Turbott

[DecentDad]

Hi,

I'm not an attorney, but my guess is that the following needs to happen:

1.  You need orders specifying the parenting schedule, if you don't already have them.  If you do already have them, and if she is unambiguously in violation of them, you need to file contempt in the court that issued the orders.  Having such orders will protect your son from the mother's chaos.

2.  You need to inform MS that it doesn't have jurisdiction, as the case is already open in TN per mom's own petition.

3.  Check the original petition with which your son was served to see if it prohibits the parents from removing the child out of state without the other parent's agreement or further order of the court.  This is a common clause in states.  If your son's paperwork has that, he can file contempt against her.

In the latter, where you need to be careful is how you respond to the papers issued from MS.  If you respond in a certain way, it's my understanding that you recognize the jurisdiction of MS on the case.

If you wait on the MS hearing, she'll get a default judgment for something, and then it'll cost more and take more energy to defeat and overturn.

The fact that she was living back with your son (i.e., and I assume child was too?) after the first orders and until very recently can only benefit his attempt to be more involved in the child's life.

So... in terms of what to do... I can't imagine that you or your son have the legal expertise to straighten this out.  His ex was a no show, and it sounds like you guys couldn't come out a winner.  Take that as a valuable lesson in what may now be a second chance.

Find the money to meet with a respected attorney for a consultation and get a feel for what y'all need to do.

If you need help finding an attorney, and if none of your neighbors or friends know any family law attorneys, go to //www.martindale.com and look up family law attorneys in your area.  Preferably, meet only with an AV rated attorney.

It may cost you a few hundred bucks to meet with someone, but after that meeting, you and your son can decide what your next step is.

Something that costs nothing; tell your son that you will smack him upside the head if he lets her move back in with him.

You've got a situation that will take some perseverance and cost to straighten out if your son intends to be significantly involved in this child's life.

Best,
DD

[Bolivar OH]

After the fiasco of this first hearing, where she didn't show up until it was over, my son still did not have his daughter.

+++++
My legal knowledge is very limited. So.....

1. What is the status of his case in Tennessee? Open/closed?
2. Why did he not ask for custody rights when in court?
3. Why did he not get a visitation schedule while in court?
4. Did he go into court without an attorney?  **NEVER do that unless you have spent many, many hours doing research.

Has he established custody rights with his child?  Woman automatically get custody rights when unmarried, Men must file.  If he was unmarried and had a child the courts normally side with mommy.  

He will need an attorney.  He does not stand a chance without one.

[lturbott]

I am not sure how to find out the status of this case.  In the recent papers he received it does not mention the case here in Tennessee.  As far as him asking for the custody in court, the way it happened was, she did not show, her lawyer did.  The judge called the lawyers, (my son's was an idiot) and we heard the judge say that Jeremy would retain physical custody and they were ordered to mediation.  Turns out her lawyer didn't realize that she had Jersey.  So the deal was they were supposed to bring her back to Jeremy that day.  Later that day we hear that what the judge had said was a "suggestion" and then she tried to get my son to sign papers giving her custody and him visitation.  Like I said, it was a fiasco!  

I wrote so many letters trying to find an attorney that would take payments and a small retainer, to no avail.  I feel we are drowning here.

That is just a little more to the story.  The one bright spot here now is that she has established Jeremy as the father in court.  That was one thing we were facing in the first round.

[Forthelittleones]

and find out what the case is about.  Also, post this on Soc's board and he shoudl be able to help you out.

[lturbott]

This seemed like something that would help us a lot.  However it cut off most of your reply.  We are coming down to the wire and I really need this information.   I have again written to many attorney's here and in MS in hopes of finding someone who will help. We went through this when she pulled all this the first time.  I hope you get this message and reply.  Thank you again.

[Forthelittleones]

I meant to say Call MS and find out what the matter is about.  Once you know that then post this on the board for Socrateaser.  He should be able to help you out with how to respond to MS without giving them jursidiction.

Call TN and find out where the case is at.  Who has legal custody of the child?  If it is your son, then he needs to file a kidnapping charge, if he was granted custody.

I need to go right now but I will post more later.

for

[Forthelittleones]

Look on the ask Soc board.  He will help you with how to avoid jurisdiction in MS.

I will also try to email you this.

[smtotwo]

Get a copy of the court transcript from the hearing where the judge said to turn the child over to your son!!

Take her to court over this!!   I don't think the Judge will like being told that they thought what HE said in HIS courtroom was a SUGGESTION,
Actually I'd bet BIG MONEY he's gonna be kinda pissed about it.

You'll have to pay for the transcript, but they saved our butt and were worth every penny!!

[lturbott]

This is the fiasco I was speaking of earlier.  When we did this, the judge said he hadn't made an order.  Any where else, if you are to be in court and don't show you are held in default.  Not this case.  My son has been ran over and around in this whole deal.  What is one to do without the resources??