Does NCP have a shot?

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

NCP with 50/50 visitation (week-on/week-off) want to file an emergency temporary change in custody. Ex wife is techinically sole custodial. Ex was in jail last weekend (for disobeying an OP) and couldn't show up to the scheduled drop-off/pick-up location. So NCP and I went to get child from the grandmother ( this was arranged with the grandmother). (8 hour drive round trip). Grandma and others have informed NCP there is major drug use, ex is going to be foreclosed on on Friday. This last weekend was the third instance of DV in 4 months. 2 months ago exs' live in boyfriend threw a rock that knocked her out when she came to she was hospitalized and was quoted telling the staff she thought he had shot her (NCP just found out the details this week). NCP has ex on tape admitting that she is being beaten and laughing about it. It is ridiculous. NCP wants to ask judge for a temp change until CP gets counseling (possible rehabilitation if judge will order drug tests) and have supervised visitation at exs' moms' house. Where exs' other child is since ex went to jail, she got out Sat. Night (could have met us for visitation but chose to let her mom tell NCP ex had flu) CP has not even attempted to pick up her other child. Grandma came clean because NCP didn't buy the excuse about being sick and grandma is now very worried, everything grandma told NCP has been backed up with police reports. Any way my questions are
1) since NCP is in one county and case is in the county where the ex is can NCP file in his county for emergency? (all parties in AZ, case originally in NCPs' county but was transferred to CPs' county) Even if he can file here should he? Or keep it all in front of the same judge?
2) Any opinions on how to word the request. We (I understand only what the NCP is worried about counts in Court, but I have been in this childs' life since she was 2 1/2 now almost 5 I am also worried) are worried about the welfare of the child. The CP has NEVER been this irresponsible and acted this way NCP thinks she really needs help.
3) any other advice you may feel is helpful, I can handle brutal honesty

We tried CPS and they said that there was no evidence of abuse to the child so basically he has to wait until his child is hurt. Please any advice would help.

[Lawmoe]

Child protection has a completely different set of standards than family Court.

the firtst thing you must do is homework.  You must knbow what the standard is for changing custoy in your state.  Two standards generally apply.

Some states use an endangerment standard. In such a state, you must demonstrate that the child is endangered in the cuurrent custodial situation.  Even with this high standard, it would appear that you have a good case IF the relatives will testify in court about the drug problem.

The second standard, used in a majority of states, is what is in the children's best interests.  You clearly have sufficient evidence to proceed under this standard. You have independent evidence in the form of police reports as well as potential family testimony about drug use.  You must relate the drug use and violence in the home to how it affects the children.  It is insufficient to simply state that she uses drugs. How does this affect the children.

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

Thanks for the advice. AZ is a bestinterest state. We have been putting a custody case together for almost two years. Ever since we began the 50/50 we knew that custody would have to be determined differently before August of 2005 because the child would start school and the parties live about 4 hours away. So we were working a different angle just that NCP has a good job, will be married by then, we just bought a house in one of the best school districts in the state and the child has 40 plus family members in our area. But now that we found out all of this we have to change our whole strategy. We don't want to attack CP, she is the childs mom and the child loves her but we will do what it takes to keep her safe until CP is better. Family members will testify that the 9 year old (not NCP) has stated that he gets up makes NCPs daughters breakfast, bathes her, brings her out to play, puts her to bed. All of this while CP does not work or go to school. The child has severe mood swings if the mom is even mentioned (starts pretending to be a baby, becomes very frustrated and will run and sit in a corner) is almost five too young for a therapist?

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

Update

Well NCP does not have a shot------technically. We couldn't get the judge to order an emergency change but we did file for custody. CP is MAD!!!! We also got a restraining order against the bf on behalf of the child. CP is even MORE MAD!!! Cp did not show for drop off last sunday, she thought we wouldn't so she didn't. So we still have the child. CP has admitted on tape that she has a very serious Meth problem but wants to go to couples counseling with bf to make it all better. YEAH NICE LOGIC! Anyway now she says she will sign over sole custody temporarily if we will drop the case and not go to Court. We went to all the police stations in and near her town and got copies including color pictures of her bruised face and statements about where eachothers drugs are. So CP is scared. We don't know if we should enter an agreement and take that to Court to get it approved by the judge (if this can be done) or just tell her see you in Court. She thinks it will only take 1 month to recover. Thanks for any advice!!!!

[Kitty C.]

Get the 'temp.' sole custody, cuz she's obviously (delusionally) thinking that when she gets 'clean' in a month or so, she will get the child back.  Well, you and I both know it will take longer than a month.  When you set up the switch, demand that she do random drug testing and she MUST be clean, or visitation will remain supervised (yeah, I strongly recommend that, too).  Then STALL.  Let it drag on as long as possible.  At least a minimum of 6 months but push it as long as you possibly can.  then when you go back to court, it's more likely that you will get PERM.  custody because judges do not like to change the status quo.

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

Thanks for the advice. Do you think we should get the agreement signed by the judge? I just don't want her to be able to turn around and pretend it didn't happen. I think she is willing to agree to all this as long as the court is not involved because she has no intention of following our agreement, she has said as much. Please help!

[Kitty C.]

If you don't have it signed by the judge, it ain't worth the paper it's printed on.  With the judge's signature, it becomes an order and 'enforceable', meaning if she violates it, you can haul her butt into court for contempt.

Of course she doesn't want to get it in front of a judge, because she knows that he'll hold her to it.  that's why she said she had no intention of following just the agreement.  But what's the point of going thru all this if you don't make it legal and binding?  Except cause more pain for the kids........

[Peanutsdad]

>Thanks for the advice. Do you think we should get the
>agreement signed by the judge? I just don't want her to be
>able to turn around and pretend it didn't happen. I think she
>is willing to agree to all this as long as the court is not
>involved because she has no intention of following our
>agreement, she has said as much. Please help!


There is NO other way to get sole custody. This HAS to go before the judge in order to be legal. Get her signature on it, witnesses, or notary,, and take it to court,, dont drop that mod .

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

Thanks. We won't drop it. Maybe it will just change as to instead of the judge making the decision we will have an agreement prepared. Do you think it will look better if we do joint custody but father is primary residential with mom having supervised every other weekend. We were thinking for at least three months with drug tests then we can review the supervised clause. What do you think?

[iLUVmySD]

Personally, with a problem like meth in the equatiuon, I would have supervised visits for longer.  You can never be too sure with a problem like that.