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Help, ex-wife trying to take kids away

Started by librooks, Sep 14, 2004, 04:35:53 PM

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librooks

My boyfriend just went through a messy divorce and custody battle. He gave up everything to be able to see his 3 kids, because the ex-wife fought him every step of the way. He now sees them once every 2 weeks. He's a wonderful father and loves his kids dearly and would give up his life for them. The ex-wife contacted DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) today because his son came home with bruises on his arm. He and his dad and sisters rough-house and of course they're going to get bruised now and then. This is part of being a kid, and it's all in good fun. He would NEVER hit those kids. Worse, when the counselor asked the son what happened, he told her that his dad grabbed him and punched his arm. This is not true, I was there! When my bf dug a little further, it became obvious that the ex-wife is telling the son what to say.

What can he do at this point? Can DYFS consider "rough-housing" abuse? This is ridiculous. He needs to know where to go from here. The ex-wife will stop at nothing to make my boyfriend's life miserable, but to get the kids involved is unforgivable. She knows he's a good father, she's just punishing him for leaving her. They live in NJ. Please help!

Lawmoe

First false allegations of abuse can be a basis to change custody.  Second, they are taken very seriously.

The key is to document, doument, document.   That does not get you out of the system that is designed to investigate.  As a result, you must cooperate with social services and even recommend a psychologist to get the real story from the child.

Rough housing is not abuse.  In most cases, social serivces will determnine that any additional activities are unwarranted. Log that in  case the matter goes to Court.  

 

lookinnomore

I can another side of that, live with my boyfriend, he has custody and she is fighting to get it back.  She called social services on me, and told them I threw her son down the stairs, OK first he would have died and second thats stupid.  Social services came out, scared me to death, I have 3 of my own kids how would this look.  Social services was pretty cool about it.  Talked to me "the live in girlfriend", they don't approve of that (living together unmarried)  and to the kids.   Of cource away from his mother he told a totally different story.  I think sometimes she plants things for them to say happened.   It was closed, no services needed.  Its scary but my luck with social services, in Virginia, has been that they are pretty smart some times.  Although I have some real horror stories on here.

True enough keep notes, on everything, the smallest thing in the world in the end can be the thing that saves yours and HIS you know what!

Good LUCK!