Pre-trial and GAL report finally!

[ER]

Yesterday, I went to the second pre-trial with the GAL at the last minute producing his report. It is favorable for me as a Father of my son. The questions arises as to terminology stated which my attoreny didn't quite explain to me the findings.

The GAL along with the Psyc Eval recommends that the Father be designated residental parent --WHat exactly does this mean in terms of custody? joint, sole.etc...joint leqal, joint pysical???

The mother has visitation based on the GAL new schedule. The schedule is nearly the same as what we have now but it is adding one extra day. The GAL also recommends that in the summer my son stay with the ex one week and then me one week and then resume the school schedule 2 weeks before school starts. He also recommends 2 weeks parenting time or rather vaction time for each parent.

Next he recommends that if my child spends the night out of the country that the responsible parent give complete details as to the trip.

The rest was to follow the Schedule A visitation paln we both have been using for over 8 months.

I truly do not like this new plan for the fact that my son is only 3 and the he has developmental problems and one trait is his ability to not handle change or disruptive routine. He is just now getting used to the schedule me and the ex have been following and any little change in it he acts out for days. I can not understand why things can't be status quo for the best interest of my son. It is not that I am being selfish but my son's development has been slowly progressing and I am afriad that disrupting the routine he is on will make his progress stop. The GAL also
reported that the Speech Therapist and Day Care stated the my son does not adapt to change and changes. So, why change the schedule now and cause possible problems only to go back into court to spend more money? Or is this the plan????

So, my attorney recommends agreeing with the GAL. We have a settlement conference next month before our custody trial. I truly do not want to agree to all his recommendations as I feel this will disrupt my son's progress at this time. What can I do to explain this with out looking like a selfish parent. BTW, the ex could care less as long as she does not have to pay support.

[littlebit]

Designated residential parent means that the child's primary resident is your home.  That is a very good thing.  With any type of joint custody, someone has to be designated as primary.  Unless otherwise stated, this answers the questions of what school district he will be in, who will claim him on taxes, who will be primary contact at doctor's office, etc.

Be very careful not agreeing with GAL.  It is already going your way, might not want to rock the boat.  Wait until later for that.  It will take everyone a little time to get used to a new schedule.  If son shows major signs of problems after a reasonable adjustment period, then you can re-visit things.

Also, if ex is really that concerned about $, that is a good avenue for you.  You will look better asking the court to order her to pay child support, than to ask to reduce her parenting time.  Then maybe SHE will want to offer you more time for less $.  

Just my thoughts!

[ER]

>Designated residential parent means that the child's primary
>resident is your home.  That is a very good thing.  With any
>type of joint custody, someone has to be designated as
>primary.  Unless otherwise stated, this answers the questions
>of what school district he will be in, who will claim him on
>taxes, who will be primary contact at doctor's office, etc.

So bascially this mean joint custody? But does it pertain to joint legal or joint pysical in regards to deceison making. Me and the ex do not communicate at all and this recommendation will only make matters worse.

>
>Be very careful not agreeing with GAL.  It is already going
>your way, might not want to rock the boat.  Wait until later
>for that.  It will take everyone a little time to get used to
>a new schedule.  If son shows major signs of problems after a
>reasonable adjustment period, then you can re-visit things.

My son is still having problems from the current vistation schedule and I have documented this? The school, therapist, day care are see this, so why would be asking to adjust or keep the current schedule harmful or bad?
>
>Also, if ex is really that concerned about $, that is a good
>avenue for you.  You will look better asking the court to
>order her to pay child support, than to ask to reduce her
>parenting time.  Then maybe SHE will want to offer you more
>time for less $.

I filed a motion 2 months ago to hear about support and still nothing yet. I am assuming that it will be heard at the trial?
>
>Just my thoughts!

[DecentDad]

Child support will be assigned, and your attorney can ask that it go retroactive to the date of your filing.

We're all concerned about money (i.e., including your ex), but the court will just follow a formula to assign who pays what, based upon incomes and parenting time.

I think it's a reasonable position to always argue in the best interests of your child.  The GAL isn't suddenly going to change his report because you disagree.

You'll be in an even more reasonable position to propose a phase-in plan to get to something close to what the GAL recommends, than to outright disagree with the GAL.  If you have other experts/witnesses who would support a slow change, it sounds like a very plausible approach.

DD

[ER]

I not asking that the GAL change his recommendations but I felt his investigation was quite bloched due to last minute interviews when he was appointed by the court 8 months ago. I will argue some points and others, I may look to a solution but I know deep down that as long as my ex's father supports her finacially, she will keep bringing me back till she gets full custody.

Right now as I found out today, the GAL is in her favor more than me as I had previously thought since his report stated by him that a shared parenting plan was not feasible at this time but yet he is recommending that I am a residentail parenting meaning that me and my ex both have legal and physical custody. He basically is stirring up a hornets' nest because my ex has sated outright to everyone that she will never talk to me. So how did he figure that? Because she submitted a parenting plan and my attorney didn't bother to ask me to submit. I personally think my attorney boched the whole thing. I also know that the GAL thinks my ex is trying to be psotive because she called the school once to observe my son in class and then declare to all that she never had knew he was in school and was kept out of information. funny,  I rember sending her a registered letter about school and she never replied. I also found out that the teacher has called my ex for my son and sent any papers homes to her including an appoiment for teacher conference which she never returned the call nor showed up. The GAL forgot to talk to the teacher I guess, maybe he felt that my ex's breasts were too important than my son's well being. I also have her family outraged because they "see" first hand how she is with my son and has made it know she does not want him and only wants to not pay support.

As you can maybe see, there is a lot more to this than meets the eye. My attorney says agree with the GAL so that we "look good" if she disagrees but how can she not disagree with his recommendations? I truly need to at least stand-up for my son and I need help in knowing what to do the right way instead of gettring screwed by money hungry attorney's.