Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Jun 19, 2024, 06:06:55 AM

Login with username, password and session length

11 year old ss sleeps with BM

Started by Stepmomnow, Apr 24, 2005, 07:57:49 PM

Previous topic - Next topic


At what age should male children definately stop sleeping with mom?  My 11 year old SS has implied that he still sleeps with his mother (my mom woke me up the other night saying I was grinding my teeth - how did she know???)
I have looked it up in the web and not found anything about the possible harmful emotional repercussions of this behavior.  Are we worried for nothing or is this going to harm him later on?


There has been many a night that I could hear my daughter grinding away in her bedroom and had to go wake her up to stop it.  It's truly worse than snoring!




Most judges would think it's weird if 11 year old son is sleeping with his mother.

You have the difficult task of proving it.... e.g., was mom just putting clothes away in his dresser and heard the grinding?  Did son fall asleep on the couch and mom heard the grinding?  Was she walking by his room and heard it?

If you have prove that he still sleeps with mom, then it's very relevant.

However, in and of itself, I don't know if it would be a significant change of circumstance.  You'd need some other trigger to re-examine custody, and then bring this up as part of that.

My two cents.



Yup.  SS said that mom would make up excuses like "the cat peed on your bed, so you have to sleep with mommy" or "I didn't get your linens washed, so you have to sleep with me I guess" until he was 12.  He said he did it because he knew she was afraid to be alone, but that it felt weird.  He asked DH to talk to mom for him.  DH did, but mom told him that he couldn't tell her what to do.  So, DH brought it up in mediation and she openly admited it.  Said she didn't see anything wrong with it because "they didn't have hair down there yet..." (? huh?).  

Even with this, the mediator just told her to stop asking them and added a line in the mediation report which states "children must sleep in their own beds".  

Good luck!


SS and his half brother (BM is CP of both) used to "take turns" sleeping with BM until about 3 years ago... SS is 14 now and his brother is  17. When we confronted BM about the unhealthy attitudes this is creating in SS she told us "what happens in HER HOUSE is NONE of DH's business." Then she made sure SS NEVER said anything about what goes on in their house again.

Not saying that there is a direct correlation, but DS1 & DS2 reported (just after Christmas) that SS has been raping and sodomizing them for the past 16-18 months. (This has created all kinds of problems that are separate from the subject of this message.)

My point is that if you have ANYTHING in the courts at this time you should bring this up and have a court order that "the parents will ensure the children sleep alone in their own bed." It will give you a basis upon which to file for contempt if it continues.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.


Thanks 4 honor - I have been watching your posts with sympathy - it sounds like a very difficult situation both for you and your DH.

We would have no proof of BM's behavor - she would never admit it and we wouldn't put SS on the stand... But I am worried about the consequences of this continuing emotional incest.