Christmas Visitation - Input Please!

[*iLUVmySD*]

Hello All,

It has been awhile since I've been on here because things have been going relatively well, but we have hit yet another bump in the road.

Quick history:
-My husband was never married to the BM of his daughter, age 9.
-In 2005, he filed for custody after my SD had been living with us for 2 years in Arizona,  while her mother lived in Nevada (threatening to take my SD if we didn't continue to pay her child support.)
-BM and my husband signed a parenting plan in mediation giving him full physical custody and sharing legal custody.  BM has every holiday with my SD from school except for SD's birthday which happens to be over Veteran's Day and 1.5 weeks in the summer. My SD flies to BM's house approximately once per month.

Current Situation:
The current parenting plan states the following regarding Winter Break visitation:

"December, January: [Mother's parenting time]:
We agree that the mother will have our child for 21 days for the Christmas break from school in 2006 and 2007, starting the day after school ends and returning our child to the father after 21 days.  Our child will bring and school work to Nevada with her, so she will not fall behind in school.  We agree to re-negotiate this plan after the 2007 Christmas holiday. The exact times will depend on the available transportation of our child from Tucson to Reno. And return."

Now my husband and I have asked BM several times in email and over the phone to return to mediation to negotiate the plan for the 2008 Christmas Holiday over the past few months to no avail.  Finally last month, we filed a request for the judge to order BM to return to mediation since it is agreed upon in their parenting plan.

Since we will not be able to return to mediation before Christmas we have told BM that she can have my SD the day after xmas until the day before school resumes.  BM is claiming that she is still entitled to have my SD for the 21 days even though the timeframe set forth in the order is for 2006 and 2007. Now BM has bought my SD's airline ticket which is departing today and we have no intent of putting SD on that plane, because it is not stated in their agreement/order.  Even though our proposal for the Christmas break was emailed to her back in September, BM has gone nuts and is saying that she will file a motion saying we are interfering with her court ordered parenting time, but from what we can tell it is not court ordered because it is not in the agreement. 

Input please! In the same situation would you put the child on the plane?  We have NEVER had a Christmas Day with my SD since my husband's and my son was born.

[tigger]

If I'm reading it right, it is technically still in force because it doesn't automatically vacate the previous conditions.  It states that you will re-negotiate after Christmas of 2007, it doesn't specify that it ends in 2007.   

I could be wrong but I think you'd be asking for trouble if you don't put her on that plane.

[*iLUVmySD*]

I would have thought that too, except it says "21 days in 2006 and 2007", instead of 21 days and then the re-negotiate after 2007.

Thanks for your input and I guess we'll see.  The issue gets a little deeper than this, this is just the current surface problem... BM has had some previous testimony in court, when she filed for change of custody last year, called not credible by the judge on several points.  Anyways... thank you again.

[tigger]

You're right.  I missed that.  It's up to interpretation.

[*iLUVmySD*]

We're expecting a visit from the local law enforcement regarding the issue this afternoon and we haven't been to court in about a year, so I guess we're due.

I guess we feel a little better about it because we sent BM and email in September proposing the exact same new winter break plan because we interpreted it as ending in 2007. And she ignored the email and all subsequent requests for mediation.

[MixedBag]

I think you two are still obligated to return or let SD go for 21 days....

See...IMHO, you're still obligated by previous definitions and mom is delaying, stalling, because she knows that future settlements will include sharing.

Typical reaction when you know you're gonna loose.....stall, stall stall.

Dad should have been more aggressive in the beginning of 2008 as opposed to waiting so long in the year.  He knows who and what he's dealing with and she probably won't budge until she's in front of a judge.

[*iLUVmySD*]

Well, now BM has changed her story and says that an order modifying the Winter Break for the 2006-2007 school year only is the current order which says that my SD should be returned the day before school starts even though BM's actions in the 2007-2008 school year show otherwise.  It's a mess, but mediation is next so we'll see... thanks for the input.

[MixedBag]

good luck!

[*iLUVmySD*]

Thank you. Well my husband and BM went to mediation. BM was complaining how she didn't get her for xmas and was supposed to.  The mediator looked at all the court orders and said BM was not supposed to get her and no where in any order did it say so. Regardless though there was no agreement in mediation because BM now wants full custody.

[Giggles]

Thank you. Well my husband and BM went to mediation. BM was complaining how she didn't get her for xmas and was supposed to.  The mediator looked at all the court orders and said BM was not supposed to get her and no where in any order did it say so. Regardless though there was no agreement in mediation because BM now wants full custody.

OH good grief....with out a "significant change in circumstances" your BM doesn't have a leg to stand on!  Has she filed yet?  If so what were her reasons?  This ought to be interesting.