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*URGENT*Can I Take Custody Of Newborn Son?

Started by pvtjokers, Dec 30, 2008, 10:48:44 AM

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I was having an affair for 4 months with a friend who I've known for 16yrs. that lives in Texas. I've known my wife for 17yrs. & we're still married along with living in Florida. My intentions during the 4 mo. affair were to divorce my wife (no children) then move to Tx. & pursue a relationship with the affair. The first 2 months were the best I've ever experienced within a relationship but immediately after the second month the affairs true colors immerged. Within the 1st 3 months of the affair the woman was served legal documents by her 1st Husband, petitioning custody of her oldest (12yrs. old) of the 2 existing children. The woman gave up custody of her 12 yr. old daughter in this case & was served a second set of legal documents by the second husband petitioning custody of her youngest daughter. The 2nd case was dismissed & primary custody is still awarded to the woman. Legal issues such as those mentioned would drive anyone insane. However, the womans' history of phsyical & verbal abuse are coming to light. I've experienced both physical & verbal abuse with no merit. I'm staying in the relationship until our child is born Feb. 25th.. The question is, Can I take our child to Florida after he's born without going to court? What would be the consequences for taking our child with a signed AOP & my name on the Birth Certificate? If I attempt legal custody I can assure you the woman would make visitation nonexistent with my child. Like I said, we'll be living 800 mi. apart once I move back to Florida. After seeing how she handles her current custody issues with the second husband I know our son will have little to no opportunity to know me. I would prefer not taking this to court since the woman has already been subjected to a legal rollercoaster & I'm not seeking a legal battle. However, if I'm limited on my actions I will simply pay the required child support once filed & request the standardized visitation. Thank in advance for any & all suggestions.


Since you are not married to this woman, then you have basically zero rights as the father.  When parents are not married, the mother automatically gets sole custody of the child (unless there is a court order stating differently).  If you take the child and leave you will be guilty of kidnapping and could be arrested and charged accordingly.

You have zero rights.  About the best thing you can do is after the child is born is to hire a lawyer.  A paternity test will be ordered.  After paternity has been established you will need to file for probably joint custody.  It is highly unlikely you will be awarded sole custody.  Also a child support order will be entered for you to pay her.  If you plan on moving 800 miles away from the child you will have 18 long years of fighting to have your visitation rights enforced.  If you really want a relatinoship with this child you need to stay where you are.-


Absent a court order for custody - if he's on the birth certificate - he legally has the same rights as Mama.

See a lawyer.  Now.


Heh! I was about to post the below statement when p1p3r replied. Thanks p1p3r for your reply. This is why I'm seeking advice from several sources & I have gotten just as many mixed answers from attorneys in the area. I'm one step shy of calling the court house & asking the judge! =/ 

Sherry1, I appreciate the quick response. However, if you read my post/question again you'll see I will be on the birth certificate along with having an AOP (acknowledgement of paternity) signed before leaving or even considering taking our child. I beg to differ about having "zero rights as the father".  I agree the notion of taking our child is unorthodox since it's not conforming to the normal judicial system but correct me if I'm wrong when I ask, isn't possession 9/10th's of the law in the majority of states? Am I correct in assuming, taking my child would NOT be "unlawful flight" since there isn't an order yet established for it to be considered "unlawful"? This is surely a loop hole in the system & I wouldn't think many if ANY attorney would recommend this action since 1. no legal fees for that attorney 2. no court fees 3. force the mother to gain custody 3. not a question within the bar exam (Joke). Again, I dont' think the paternity test is a question. If you read the ENTIRE post you'll see that's not in question & won't be once our child is born. My name will be on the Birth Cert. & WE will sign an AOP which is filed in Austin, Tx.. If you don't mind me asking, Are you an attorney? Thank again for your response & time.


No, she's not an attorney but she has MUCH experience with the family court system. 

If you were married, you would have equal rights to the child.  Since you aren't married (well, to the mother of the child anyway), you don't have rights, regardless of where your name is -- on the BC, on an AOP, chiseled in stone.  The law presumes maternal custody when a child is born out of wedlock. 

If you've gotten different responses from attorneys, what made you think you'd get consistent ones from the general public via a forum?  Looks like you're just looking for someone to agree with you.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!


Quote from: pvtjokers on Dec 30, 2008, 10:48:44 AM
The question is, Can I take our child to Florida after he's born without going to court? What would be the consequences for taking our child with a signed AOP & my name on the Birth Certificate?
You do have rights as the father, but it's my opinion that doing what you're thinking of doing would hurt your case tremendously and cause you much more trouble in the long run. The courts view these kinds of actions (interstate moves, parental kidnapping, etc) as highly detrimental and would almost certainly hold them against you.
The trouble with reality is that there's no background music.


I understood correctly when you said you will be on the birth certificate.  However, if you are not married then you do not have equal rights to that child.  I am not saying I agree with this, I am just saying how I have seen it done (and no I am not an attorney).  If you take the baby and leave the state you will probably end up with a bad situation and you could be charged with kidnapping. 


I appreciate everyones input. Tigger, per your question & comment "If you've gotten different responses from attorneys, what made you think you'd get consistent ones from the general public via a forum? Looks like you're just looking for someone to agree with you." I've posted on several legal sites not limiting myself to the standardized "contact an attorney" response. It's apparent all responses will vary which is another reason limiting myself to "contacting an attorney" is naive. I'm not looking for someone to agree with my situation since there's always someone out there, regardless of right or wrong, who'll agree with what I propose. Gathering information to be knowledgable vs. "deer in the headlights" is my only objective which is why I'm venturing down the informative highway 3 months prior to the birth of our child. One tidbit of information I neglected to mention. The "x" (affair) changed her name legally (judge/court appearance) to my last name. Her reason to the judge for changing her name was "common law marraige". The name change took place in Tx.. Sherry1, I would've moved & stayed in Tx. if the relationship worked between the "x" & myself but if you knew what part of Tx. you wouldn't suggest I stay. Also the "x" can't stand the wife for no apparent reason. My wife is an officer in the armed forces & sweet as an Angel who's done nothing towards the "x". Referring back to my original post, the "x" is PSYCHO! Moving any closer would only make things chaotic! Thanks again for all your time & input.


I agree with Sherry, Tigger and Waylon.  If you try to do what you have planned, it will NOT go well for you!!  I know this for a FACT since my DS's father pulled exactly that stunt!  We were not married, our son was 10 months and X decided to take off with our son.  I went to the court, got emergency custody and X was told by the court to return our son within 48 hours.  He did not so a warrent went out for his arrest.  We went to court for final custody and the judge ripped him a new one for the stunt he pulled. 

If you want custody then perhaps what you need to be doing is to gather all the evidence you can to prove her unfit.  That wont be an easy feat that's for sure.  Unless she's a drug addict,  been to jail several times, and you have police reports for the abuse she inflicted on you.....there is very little chance of finding her unfit!!
Now I'm living....Just another day in Paradise!!

Kitty C.

Most of us are here because of 'psycho' exes!  The reason why your ex has a beef with your wife is because your wife is 'competition' to your ex.   Real or imagined, that's the way your ex sees it.

As far as any legalities are concerned, the only thing that matters is what the laws are in Texas.  If you do talk to any attys., it should be one who practices in Texas, primarily family law.

My son's father 'absconded' with our son from Iowa to CA (that's the way my atty. worded it) back in 1993.  Even with a flimsy joint custody agreement, once it made it to court, the judge was pi$$ed.  He got relegated to every summer and EO Xmas (long distance order) until 6 years ago.....when he passed away the summer of DS's 13th year.  At least DS got to tell him goodbye.

You have a fight on your hands..........and if the ex remains psycho, it wil be a fight for the next 18+ years, regardless of what the outcome of custody will be.  But you MUST let the courts make final determination.....without their 'seal of approval' on an order, nothing is legal regarding custody.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......