Going for Custody of My Son. What are my chances?

[pbpunisher]

Little background this being my first post here and all. I separated from ex wife when my son was just two years old. She was very physically and verbally abusive to me. I still have the scars on my face to remind me. My ex also is an alcholic. I didn't not realize the extent of the problem will after we were married. I would come home from work, and smell her glass of diet coke to see if there was any booze in it. If there was I knew it was going to be a long night. One night on one of her drunken tirades I was in the bedroom with my one year old son. She broke down the door and began hitting me. With my screaming son in my arms I called 911 for assistance. The police came to my home and arrested me leaving my crying son with his intoxicated mother claiming I broke down the door and put bruises on her arms from beating on the door was actually from me. Ignorant to the law, and having no money I went to the court, under ex's advice (she got me good) and plead no contest to get it over with. Then after that she would threaten to call the police on me anytime I thought of not obeying her. I had to leave for fear, and living under her abuse with complete control. I have been fighting for visitation, and for the protection of my son ever since.

That was seven years ago. He's 9 years old now and she has remarried to a man who is also an alcoholic. They've been married 5 years and between them they have 5 dui's 4 domestic violence arrest, a criminal sexual conduct charge, assault on a minor (my former stepson by this man) attempted arson, and numerous disturbing the peace and literally dozens of calls for the police to come to their home. CPS is currently conducting it's third investigation of her for abuse and neglect. I have filed change of custody motions in the past only to walk out completely empty handed. I have filed another ex parte emergency change of custody motion which was denied.
I am filing a standard change of custody motion again, but CPS did a 180 on me, again, and is now saying that they want to keep my son in that house. The stepfather is still at large with three warrants for his arrest. CPS wanted to place my son with me at first but because of my one BS domestic violence charge in 2001 they couldn't place my son with me. They said the only reason they left him in her home is they would have had to place him in foster care. Now I've never had any problems with the law prior or since that one incident. I've never had a DUI, or any problems. However, the I can only use incidents that has happened since the last custody hearing. Yet they can use my one domestic violence charge against me forever. I have a phsyc review of my son showing that he has anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and socail problems due directly from the effects of domestic violence. My attorney thinks we have a decent chance, but I don't. I don't think that the courts are going to part with CPS's recommendation to keep my son in her home.

Does anyone think I have any chance? Sorry to sound so negative, but I've been doing this for sometime, and at least here, men don't get custody hardly ever. Actaully, less than 2% of the time from what I"m told.

[*iLUVmySD*]

What state are you in?

[pbpunisher]

What state are you in?

Michigan

[*iLUVmySD*]

From the information you provided I would think you have a decent chance.  It all depends on how your lawyer presents the information and how BM replies.
I don't know how Michigan is with father's rights and being non-biased toward the mother but here in Arizona they seem to be making great progress on that front.  My husband has primary custody of his daugther. Him and the BM were never married and there was no existing custody order.  She brought up a bunch of his ancient history (all misdemeanors from about 7 years prior to no avail.  They ended up settling in mediation afterward.  So I think as long as you have a decent lawyer that knows the ropes, you should be fine.  Good luck.

[pbpunisher]

From the information you provided I would think you have a decent chance.  It all depends on how your lawyer presents the information and how BM replies.
I don't know how Michigan is with father's rights and being non-biased toward the mother but here in Arizona they seem to be making great progress on that front.  My husband has primary custody of his daugther. Him and the BM were never married and there was no existing custody order.  She brought up a bunch of his ancient history (all misdemeanors from about 7 years prior to no avail.  They ended up settling in mediation afterward.  So I think as long as you have a decent lawyer that knows the ropes, you should be fine.  Good luck.

I have grave concerns about my attorney. I've been told by more than one person that she's not very good. Several people I've told that works in the family courts just rolled their eyes when I told them who my attorney was. Of course I already paid, and were so far into the process it's hard to change. CPS did charge my ex with abuse and neglect and she did go to trial where she plead no contest to the charge. Now CPS has made my son a ward of the state but kept him in her home. They've ordered services (counsoling) for my son, her son, her husband, and me even though I'm the non-respondent I requested to be part of the services. I had to fight the CPS case worker to be able to keep involved in this entire case. She thinks I'm just being nosey and making her job difficult. She actually called me at home and harassed me about calling my sons consoler to see how he was doing.



I guess some good news is that normally while CPS/DHS is involved there's a stay put on the case that does not allow for any legal motion regarding the child. However, my attorney filed an ex parte motion to have the stay lifted, and the judge thought there was enough evidence to lift the stay and allow me to go forward with my custody motion. Which is basically a slap in the face to CPS. We did have a custody hearing a couple weeks ago and my ex showed up without an attorney saying she didn't know this was a custody hearing and she was told by the CPS worker that we couldn't go ahead with the case and told her just to show up and it will be adjourned. When she was told be the attorney/refree that she recieved notice that the stay was lifted, and recieved notice that this was a scheduled case she just played dumb. The attorney/refree adjourned the case to give my ex time to get an attorney. He didn't even bat an eye that a CPS case worker is giving legal advice in a case the does not even concern them. Not only wasting the courts time, the attorneys time, by also costing me over $1000 in extra attorney fee's and also what I had to pay my expert witness to be there, which I'll have to pay again. The attorney/refree did tell my ex that she would have to pay me for expert witnesses, but I'll never see a penny from her. On Monday we get to refile our motion, but it will be at least 30 days before we get another court date. Me ex has been in court sooooooo many times, she knows how to play the system.

[Kitty C.]

Then you need to have your atty. request that she pay for the additional cost to you because of her actions.  You can request it, but it will be up to the court to decide if they will pass on those costs to her or not.  But you won't know unless you try...........