Can someone who claims to be the father force paternity testing ?

[4honor]

HE raised 6 kids that were born during his marriage. Of the 6, 3 were his.

When they divorced (in the late 70's) his Ex poisoned the kids against him because even if he thought of them as his, she knew it wasn't true.

I say go test all four against YOUR DNA. That way, it is done quickly and qiuetly and your Ex does not hold the information over your head. You may find out that none of them are yours... but you would be the only one to know.

You and that child need to know -- do you want him growing up to marry a half sister?  If there is no other father, you can smile smuggly when she brings this up again... and you can just tell her that you KNOW who their father is.

Your child will be more devasted as a man to know that you kept the possibility from him than to find out as a child that he has additional family members who claim they want to love him too.

As for telling him -- you can say that during a rough patch Mommy had a relationship with another man and they made him. Mommy carried you in her body for 9 months and YOU have carried him in your heart ever since you laid eyes on him.

[hindsight]

Very interesting and well put..

This is advice I was looking for and is something that I will definitely consider. I have contemplated the possibility that if there is a chance of one of them not being mine, what about the other 3 ?

I have been informed that the test can be performed here for $125 and the $500 is not an issue when it means I can sleep at night knowing. The results won't bother me, its not knowing that bothers me. I think if I knew for sure and the mother didn't, that would be all I need to know. I could go on with my life knowing and knowing that nothing needs to change.. I can get the closure I'm looking for.. and this wether all 4 are mine biologically or not.
Hell, I didn't even see a need for my ex to be my ex.. but then again, right now she doesn't either (or so she says). That will change again tomorrow I'm sure.