Modification of Custody Agreement - after established for almost 2 years

[catzeyezz4u]

Hi everyone,

I frequent this site and had a situation that I could use some input on, although I know no one can predict the future.  Also add we live in PA.

Long story short - I have a 7-month old and the father (we were never married) pretty much disappeared until he was born (only resurfaced due to his mother nagging him and another new live-in girlfriend -which is actually the 2nd one of 2008 and neither of them were me).  He started calling when my son was 5 days old with his own 50/50 schedule, that only suited his schedule and coincided with the latest girlfriend's days off, and I told him he was the least of my concerns at this point - take me to court.  Also want to note that he was never denied visitation but I would not allow him to leave my house with him.  He decided to never take the opportunity to stop by.  I had consulted an attorney while pregnant and knew the legalities of unmarried individuals.

At 3 1/2 months we had a conciliation conference and I was awarded primary physical and he partial until we could meet with the judge (we have joint legal).  The conciliator at the end of the meeting told me that I should be prepared for the pre-trial conference because 50/50 is awarded thru age 5.

At 6 months we had our pre-trial conference with our appointed judge, I was still awarded primary and he partial.  His partial was changed slightly but the formal split percentage stayed the same.  The judge told us that he normally doesn't award 50/50 until age 2 and that would last through age 5, unless I can prove father to be a mass murderer or something close to that.  Which I cannot.

I know I'm going to be chastised by those who advocate the father's participation but because I know the father, his intentions are totally self-centered, money focused (all he can talk about is going back for more overnights due to DR, which was his idea to go to DR anyway) and more of an "I won" intent, and not trying to be a true father.  This has been evident so far with a several issues.  If his intentions were genuine I wouldn't be as concerned and defensive.  I could go on forever about the topic pointing out his faults but I won't :-)  And to be quite honest, I've tried to find the positive aspects of him and try to look at the bright side ...... but I truly can't find any.

Since the current agreement has been established for almost 2 years and seems to be working, has it been others experiences in the same situation for that big of a change down the road?  Or because this has been the norm it's actually kept that way. 

I was just curious to what others have experienced.  Thanks for any input :-)

[MixedBag]

Hmmmm.....in my own experience, after 11 years of dad having primary residential custody, when our son "changed his mind" to live here, the old order was changed.

And now after 2 good, no problem years here, son wants to go back, and the judge gave dad "temp primary residential custody" last week.

SO....nothing is set in stone until after the child emancipates.

[4honor]

In our experience, the same judge hears teh case until he moves counties or retires, so you will likely have the same judge who said he gives 50/50 after age 2 hearing the case again.

In all honesty, you will have a crap shoot.

[catzeyezz4u]

Thanks for your sharing your experiences with me :-)