Missing my son...

[big_worm]

I am currently representing myself in a court battle for visitation with my youngest son. He is 15 and lives with his father. His father has had custody for 6 years, refuses to allow me to visit my son unsupervised, and has brainwashed him into believing that I abandoned him. I have two older children (different father) who are almost adults (17 and 18) that have been living with me, but my 18 year old son is on his own with his own child now.

Father has refused to allow telephone calls, emails, and has changed/cancelled visitation several times. He refused to allow makeup visits that were cancelled due to weather (blizzard), refused to pay half the supervision costs (which he agreed to in the last stipulation filed 10/07) and refused to allow my two older children to attend these supervised visits.

I am going to court again on 9/18/09. Father has retained an attorney (I cannot afford it) and the court granted a motion to appoint a CFI in April. Father made allegations that my older son is a gang member and I am using drugs (not true). Mediation was unsuccessful, father wanted me to complete random UAs for 6 months even for supervised visitation.

The last time I saw my son was 3/20/09 (his 14th birthday) and the CFI seems incompetent so far. I completed an interview with him in May and I am still waiting for the required home visit.

To avoid making this story longer, is there anyone out there who has any insight relating to the upcoming court hearing?

[brwneyedmom]

What's a CFI?
In which state do you live or which one has jurisdiction?  Is your son in the same state?
Do you have documentation of all failed attempts at communication/visitation?  If not, backtrack and update a calendar or notebook with facts, witness names, etc.

Was the stipulaton from 10/07 signed by a judge? 
Can your older sons testify for you in court at your hearing as to your character?  And this would include your oldest son's alleged gang membership.

Just some ideas and questions from a non-lawyer.  Good luck to you on the 8th. 

[big_worm]

A CFI is a Court-appointed Family Investigator. I live in Littleton, CO (suburb of Denver) and this case has been going on for over 2 years.

The stipulation was accepted, but Father refused to cooperate on any level with the counselors at SuperVision, Inc. At the time, I had a lawyer and we had to threaten Father with contempt just to get him to complete an intake before the supervised visits would start. However, it was to my advantage to pay a third party to monitor the visits and write reports about his alienation tactics. Fortunately, I have been documenting this behavior and I am relatively confident that I can prove it to the court.
Father has made it abundantly clear that the rules don't apply to him and he won't do anything that isn't ordered by the court.

[awakenlynn]

See maybe if any attorneys would take you on a reduced basis? Otherwise see if there is a law school nearby, many have Family Law clinics and they might be able to help.  Also in some states there is low cost legal aid through the state, you can check to see if you qualify for that too.

Make sure you are documenting EVERYTHING, no matter how insignificant you think it might be.  You want to show the judge you are doing everything in your power to be a parent and what ex is doing to prevent it.