Wife went on vacation and didn't bring kids back.

[rocky]

My wife took kids on one last trip before school.  She didn't bring them back.  She came and got clothes and beds.  Says she is going to think about things for a couple of months.  I don't know that she intends to come back.  She and the kids are 1100 miles away in another state.  Our oldest has some emotional issues and doesn't do well with change.  I want my kids back but don't want to push her away. I hope for reconciliation.  How long does one wait before pursuing parental kidnapping?

[Momfortwo]

My wife took kids on one last trip before school.  She didn't bring them back.  She came and got clothes and beds.  Says she is going to think about things for a couple of months.  I don't know that she intends to come back.  She and the kids are 1100 miles away in another state.  Our oldest has some emotional issues and doesn't do well with change.  I want my kids back but don't want to push her away. I hope for reconciliation.  How long does one wait before pursuing parental kidnapping?

Unless you file in court to have the kids returned NOW, the court will view you as having accepted becoming a long-distance parent. 

Just how are you going to work on a reconciliation when your stbx is 1,100 miles away?  It's time to start thinking about your kids. 

[Giggles]

I agree with Momfortwo!  It's a sneaky game your STBX is playing that will most likely guarentee her to get primary placement eventhough she's the one who moved.

File an Exparte order NOW to demand her bring the KIDS back, she can stay to do whatever thinking she wants, but the kids need to stay with you!!

[Davy]

I adamantly disagree in part with Momfortwo.  Much of the serious material concerning like matters indicates an urgency to retieve the kids home because the children are at risk. are endangered, and/or are being exploited. Normally, there is a third party interferring in the family unit and many chracteristics of this behavior resembles a stranger abduction. 

There is absolutely no way to know how a court will view the situation.  The verbage about acceptance of long distance parenting is simply the beginning of the "abuse accuses" as a cover for the mother abductor while the children remain unprotected.... do not assume the children are safe because they are with a parent.  The urgency and only priority is the well-being of the children that have to be returned home immediately.

[grtdaddy]

she is playing you friend. she isn't coming back. best thing you can do is what everyone has said, FILE NOW!

[Momfortwo]

I adamantly disagree in part with Momfortwo. 

Not even quoting the rest of your post because it is just drivel.

He isn't going to be able to just go and pick up the kids with the mother there WITHOUT A COURT ORDER.  Hence, the suggestion to take LEGAL action NOW. 

As opposed to waiting so long that a court will view him as having accepted the move.  Which HAS happened before when the parent who didn't move dragged his/her feet. 

[Kitty C.]

There you have it, rocky..........4 responses that say exactly the same thing:  Get those children back asap and do it in a way that won't jeopardize their wellbeing:

'It's time to start thinking about your kids.'

'File an Exparte order NOW to demand her bring the KIDS back, she can stay to do whatever thinking she wants, but the kids need to stay with you!!'

'The urgency and only priority is the well-being of the children that have to be returned home immediately.'

'best thing you can do is what everyone has said, FILE NOW!'

[Davy]

Momfortwo

just because you make bold statements spreading falsehoods doesn't mean someone can't politely disagree ... which I did. 

Worst yet you respond with more falsehoods.  Absent any court order, like in this case, the father can just go there and LEGALLY retrieve his children even in the presence of the mother.
It would be much better if he had the backing of a favorable court order because it remove doubt but it certainly is NOT ILLEGAL.

Your constant statements "that the court WILL view " thisa or thata is simply stinkin thinkin and does not even approach rationality.  In those cases where a court has the view a left behind parent accepts the situation is definitely the start of "abuse excuses" and a reflection of the biases and prejudiceses of the court systems that do not protect children. 

[Momfortwo]

Momfortwo

just because you make bold statements spreading falsehoods doesn't mean someone can't politely disagree ... which I did. 

Worst yet you respond with more falsehoods.  Absent any court order, like in this case, the father can just go there and LEGALLY retrieve his children even in the presence of the mother.
It would be much better if he had the backing of a favorable court order because it remove doubt but it certainly is NOT ILLEGAL.

Your constant statements "that the court WILL view " thisa or thata is simply stinkin thinkin and does not even approach rationality.  In those cases where a court has the view a left behind parent accepts the situation is definitely the start of "abuse excuses" and a reflection of the biases and prejudiceses of the court systems that do not protect children. 

He will not  be able to retrieve the children if the mother, you know, the other legal parent, is there WITHOUT A COURT ORDER.  The cops simply won't get involved in what they consider a DOMESTIC DISPUTE.

Case in point, when my cousin was 15 years old (still a minor), she was upset.  She went to her older sister's house.  Without her mother's permission.  My aunt went there to pick up her minor child.  My older cousin refused.  My aunt called the cops.  The cops came. 

My older cousin refused to let them in the house.  Do you know what the cops did?  Absolutely nothing.  They needed a court order or my older cousin's permission to enter the house.  They had neither. 


And my younger cousin spent the night at my older cousin's house.  Do you know what kind of legal trouble she got into?  She didn't. 

The cops aren't going to be able to do anything without a court order unless they are in a public place WITHOUT the mother, you know, the other legal parent.

And if the father waits too long, he's going to have an extremely hard time getting the courts to believe that he didn't accept the move.   As stated before, it HAS happened where the left behind parent ended up being a long-distance parent simply because s/he didn't do anything in a timely manner. 

I am sorry that you are having a problem grasping that, but that is your problem. 

I am also sorry that you are under the illusion that the cops can do anything without a court order, it's very misleading when you give out information  that indicates that the cops can make the mother hand the child over in the abscence of a court order. 

[Mom0f3]

I see that you know your "wife" is 1,100 miles away from you, however do you know exactly where she is in order for you to get your kids back?  About eight years ago my SS Mother did that to my Husband.  She took the child with her boyfriend and they moved.  She gave us a fake address which the apartment complex told us they had nobody living there under her or her boyfriends name.  My Husband was going crazy without his son because we constantly had him before she pulled this stunt out of nowhere, when the month before she had very little contact with the child. 

My Husband and I sat in a parking lot near the boyfriends job and had to follow him at night to find out where they had moved to.  Once we found out where they had moved the next day we went to try and get/see my SS.  The mother opened the door, seen my Husband, slam the door in his face, his son cried for his Father, and she called the police.  I recorded the whole incident on video, when the police came they made my Husband leave the property.  He was unable to get my SS even though he was his FATHER.  Guess what no court papers at that time, we only had a lawyer and was working our way to court against the Mother.

Point being, I would file what ever it is you can.  I would not wait for anything.  Just because you show up does not mean you will get your child(ren), I know this from going through this with my Husband.  It might not be what you want to do, but it's what you have to do.  Why else would she leave and just not come back, even at the time school is starting if you have school age kids.

[Mom0f3]

Oh and I forgot she went and filed an Ex Parte on my Husband after we showed up at her door for taking off with my SS and not giving us an address or letting us know where he was or if he was okay.  Guess what, the courts gave it to her and my Husband got every other weekend visits with his son while we went to court over custody.  She really stuck it to my husband by pulling that stunt.  So I would use caution just showing up without anything to back you up.  She could pull the same thing on you.

[brwneyedmom]

If you go and get your children, your wife could turn around and pick them up at school and take them back with her.  I'm sure that you don't want your children ping-ponging back and forth while the custody issues get resolved.  Without a clearcut custody placement, your children could be taken by either parent at any time.  That may make you crazy with worry when they are out of sight.  The best protection for stability for your children is to file to have custody, get it, pick them up, and enroll them at school in your town, in my opinion.  There's a history that would justify the court papers to refuse release of the children to the mother from schools or daycare, in my opinion.  Of course, I am not an attorney.  I don't like attorneys, and no longer pay for one to be involved in my life.  So my advice is just my own thoughts and opinions and should be taken for whatever value you place on them.
If you file in court for the childrens' immediate return, you can also file for their belongings to return with them.  This may be important to no one, even your children, but if they are attached to particular belongings, this way they can have them back.  This was a particular issue with my DS, who was not permitted by his father to have certain belongings until DS lived with his father.  The judge ruled differently.
If you file first, you may maintain a certain advantage in court.  Ask for the moon.  Settle for what you feel that you can live with.  And if you are offered mediation, try it.  I never thought that my ex and I could hammer out a mediated agreement.  I was happy to be proven wrong.  You can work with jerks.  You might be snatched baldheaded first from frustration, but it can happen.  Neither of us got all of what we wanted, but neither of us lost everything either.
Best of luck to you.

[Davy]

Momfortwo

Nobody but you had said anything about the cops.  But I could write a book (and you can't).  Typically, law enforcement was my friend.

I retrieved my kids on numerous occassions.  No cops, no court orders, the other legal parent was present.  no big deal.  Just went there and announced I was taking the kids home.  Moreover, I never suggested in any way the OP work outside the system.

AND there were many many times when a legal parent had court orders and the cops would'nt act upon the orders. As a matter of fact neither would the courts.

The only legal statue I am aware of with a time frame is the 6 month requirement when the principles of the UCCJA are invoked,  What Momoftwo refers to in her general statements is the often built-in bias of the court system against fathers and children.  BTW, if there's even a chance the court will conduct itself using excuses to maintain the status quo then the children may be best served by a rule-of-law type attorney from outside the local yokal good ole boy system.

I hope to emphasize to the OP the need to let go of his emotional ties to the mother in order to even begin to protect the children. The OP asked about his attorney filing and others have already posted to file ex-parte for custody (hopefully with a pick-up order when the exact location of the children is known) with absolute certianity.  Of course, the court should be informed of the uncertainity (the kids could be 2500 miles from home now).

With the ex-parte order in hand the Criminal Interference statues ...documented by state in the articles section on this site can be invoked if the statue applies for his state (by the father perhaps without assistance of counsel). Law enforcement can and likely will act on these statues.   Of course, the difference being criminal statues vs civil statues (ie contempt issued under civil court statues).

Bottom line, the OP has been given excellent advice and once he files the mother becomes a child abductor and hopefully the at-risk children can be protected from their abductor.  Returning the children HOME should be the only focus at this point and other matters can be finalized in the future. 

It is very unfortunate the children and the father have to be put thru this but the mother is currently a burden on everybody and this is the best way for all to increase the likehood of a fruitful relationship with her in the future.

Right now she is ill. 

[tjk]

Like the op have said, in the absence of a co either parent can legally take the children wherever they want. 

I'm sure your wife is hoping you will buy into the idea that you make be able to work things out eventually.  If she can stahl you long enough, she will be able to file for divorce and custody in the state she is now residing in once she meets the residency requirements.  If you don't file now in your state you may find yourself having to travel back and forth to the court in her state, as well as having to hire an attorney from there.

Get the kids returned to you and start to establish the status quo of you being the primary parent.