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Joint Custody!

Started by scareddad, Apr 20, 2005, 06:08:00 AM

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  I'm in a pickle! During my divorce I was working two jobs and settled for a two day a week visitation because I was able to get the same days off at both jobs. I work in Retail. I switched my part time job to full time and visa-versa with my other job as well.
  My availability at my new job had to be open if I was to advance and move up in the company. So, still in retail, my days off no longer were going to be the same each week. Now my time off was on a four week rotation. My Ex-wife and I came to an agreement to let me see my son on my days off. We worked it out and followed the new schedule for about two months. Then my Ex decided it didn't work for her any more because it wasn't consistant enough. So she started to dictate when I could see my son and how long the visitation would last. Taking out most of my overnights with him.
  I then quit my part time job and hired a lawyer, who file a contempt of court against my Ex and filed a motion to revise our visitation schedule. I told my lawyer that I wanted to try for joint custody again. Because that would be more consistant. I came up with a rotation that is a little hard to explain and undertand. But when put on a calander looks simple to me. It is also very fair to both my ex and me. I also believe it is best for my son.
  My ex said no at mediation, so we are stuck. My lawyer now tells me that I have no choice but to take her to court. Yet she also told me that a judge would never grant my proposed schedule. See, I have to close at least two nights a week and hence my problem. That is why a joint custody schedule is hard to come up with that will work for me. When I close, I am at work until 11 PM. I can't leave my son with a baby sitter until midnight. Then wake him up to go home and put him back to bed.
So my lawyer tells me I have no choice but court, yet I have no chance of winning. Whats the point then?
  Can any one help me?



You have lots of options. If you have to close 2 nights a week, then don't take your son those 2 nghts. It would help if you put down your current schedule. Unfortunately, you need to work your job around your kid. There is no guarantee that the job you have now will be the job you have 6 years from now. You can't go back to court to change the schedule every time your job changes. You get the custody/visitation agreement and then tell work , I can work XX day and I cannot work XX day. If your lawyer says take her to court, then take her to court. She doesn't know what the judge will and won't do, she's just trying to intimidate you.

Who said you don't have a chance of winning? The ex, why would you believe anything she says? When you go to court, you'll both have to make sacrifices. I would also recommend that you, literally, start documenting every single little thing she does and doesn't let you do. From the date to the amount of time. The judge won't be pleased.


My son was giving me a hard time last year.. consequently, right after I filed contemped papers in the courts for my exhusband being back on his child support.  I decided to let him live with his dad since September at this time his personality become very abusive toward me.  I have attained 2 therapists in helping me gain my relationship back with my son. Today, I was hit with legal papers that my ex would like to become the primary parent and revert the child support. 

I have been out of work for the past year likes millions of other people.  I have been in court before with this asshole and he down right lies to judges under oath.

I told my therapist he is a bad example for a father and I will not give up any of my primary rights.

I discovered a monitoring device on my computer too and I know my ex either put it on or instructed my boys to do it.  He had this behavior when we were living together.  I have no proof I have a police report to back it up, but the policeman said I had no proof.   I also have the bill from the guy who repaired my computer.

Maybe, in court I can ask the judge for a restraining order.  I will bring up all these items in court to show the judge this man is a controlfreak and wants total control of his son.

any advice I am a single parent, going to school trying to make ends meet and for

or the past 2 years this man has been a thorn in my side.


If your schedule change allows you more time with your child then that's what the lawyer must make her argument on..it has to be about the child..always make it about the best interest of the child...it's hard for a judge to deny that more time with the non-custodial parent is not a good thing. plus you can always say that any other way would mean you would have to quit a job (less money for mom she wont like that) rethink your parenting plan..your order probably already say's liberal visitation along with your parenting schedule.
also maybe you can hire a nanny for those 2 nights you close. (I got a nanny and offered free room and board worked out great!!) be creative think outside the box!!
what circuit are you in ?
do you know the name of the judge?
would like to see your parenting plan and the one you are proposing, along with age of child?