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Is 50/50 custody possible with a Newborn?

Started by bry_shark, Oct 08, 2009, 09:14:57 AM

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bry_shark

I have been married for five years and the relationship is non recoverable a laundry list of reasons. Ihave 1.5 month old son. What are my chances of securing a 50/50 custodyarrangement if I file. I live in California. The baby is bottled feedand I have taken numerous parenting and first aid courses withcertification. I also have adjusted my work schedule to be home 3 daysa week. During the three days I am home I am the primary care giver tothe child for changing feeding and bathing and so on. I also take an active rolein the evening when home from work. My wife is on maternity right nowbut worked up until the delivery. She plans on going back to work inJanuary after her approved maternity leave. If I file i would like to be awarded shared joint custody 50/50 or something close. I know my wife will fight me on this because she can be vindictive and our son is her only leverage point. What other things should I be doing to helpmy case before I file? When will be the right time to file? Should I even bother to file in the next 6-8months or is this a battle I won't be able to win? I don't want to lose my son.
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Gestalt

Maybe your wife would fight you on it because she also loves the child and wants to spend as much time as possible with the child?

The best way to get 50/50 is to agree to it.

One always takes a chance going to court. That being said, you should go into court on at LEAST equal footing (equal chances) as mom because of your level of involvement. If you guys cannot agree, then you should get an attorney so you have the best possible chance of getting what you want.

CuriousMom

bry_shark - I can share what our judge rules (my son was about 3 1/2 months before a hearing was even held, now 10 months).  And that was he doesn't award 50/50 physical custody until they are at least 2+ years.   But I've heard other judges in my area award differently, all depends on who has your case.

Hopefully you can work it out between you and your wife and avoid the system.

nnote

I'm not sure about your laundry list of reasons, but....
Divorce, custody... horrible experience.
Try giving you, your wife, and your new child some time.

MomofTwo

There is really no way anyone can guess what the judge you end up with will do.

Many judges do not do 50/50, especially for newborns.  It usually is a stepped up time sharing plan (starts with xx hours so many days a week and continues to increase)... Some judges absolutely won't do 50/50 before 2 or 3  years of age.  Some judges just don't ever do it.

50/50 is not usually awarded unless the parents have a very amicable relationship.  Judges  simply will not put the child in the middle of a constant battle.  50/50 only works when both parents reside close to each other, and best if they are in the same school district/same schools.   50/50 may work till school age and many people find it is very difficult for the child to do this, particularly so many days in one week with each parent.   

I understand things have been bad, but you have a newborn.  Marriage is difficult enough but having a baby adds alot of new stresses into any relationship and once the courts are entangled in your life, the courts are always entangled in your life, at least for a verrryyyy long time.  I would never presume to tell you to try to work things out, but at least try to take a step back and do what you can to make things work.   There is no guarantee you will get 50/50 in a divorce.  The best guarantee of being in your child's life is to try to work things out. 

grtdaddy

your in california, you wont lose your son. but like others have stated it may be hard to get 50/50 of a newborn. but i absolutely see no reason why you shouldn't get over nights. You were married so in california family laws eyes, you have just as much right to that child as she does. Divorce and custody battles drain you emotionally, and seriously age you fast, i would try to talk to her and agree on something you BOTH think is fair, and raise and enjoy your son.