Moving for better opportunities

[MixedBag]

You're not divorced yet?  Am I picking that up from the first post you made?

File for a divorce and include a proposed parenting plan.

HERE (AL), the clerk said to serve him in two different ways at his last known address.

So we did that.

THEN if that didn't work, we had to ask the judge for permission to publish in the paper.

And I found out what that had to look like by researching via searches on-line.

Fortunately, he was served via the sheriff at his job.

And then the proceedings went forward.

Things are gonna be slightly different in each state.

You're not divorced yet -- so this 30 day thing might actually not apply, but will down the road. 

I'd say you have plenty of time to clean up your situation and THEN move if the courts allow it.

[ocean]

Yup,
You know where he works, so have him served there (or given a letter there). Here there are service companies that will do it for about $50. In NY you are allowed to have someone 18 and over to do it to as long as they sign and notarize an affidavit stating they handed the papers to him. Some states have the sheriff to it for you instead.

[msfabulous89]

unfortunetely, no i don't have time.


and i'd love to serve him at work, but per his work's policies, it's automatic termination, and i'm not looking to screw him over by any means...

i just want a better life for me and my son. and i've ALREADY stated once that he'll get fired if i do that. i've already called and spoken to his boss about it. i was told to NOT have anything served to him there or he'll loose his job.

[ocean]

You should not be calling his job for any reason. He can get you on harassment for that. The job does not want drama to unfold there and trying to protect him.

No one has ever gotten fired at work for being handed an envelope. The server usually does it in the parking lot going in or out of work. You can even ask that the server following him from work and serve him at home or wherever he stops next. They just hand them the papers in a plain envelope. No one knows what they are, sometimes not even the person. It is required by the courts. A job may look and see if it is criminal summons and may do something but for divorce cases it is civil court.

You can have a friend following him home or pay a private investigator to get you his address. They probably can get the info online fast without even following him.

The judge will ask what address you used, if you know where he is, do you know where he works.... before he allows the newspaper ad. That is used as a last resort.

[msfabulous89]

so since i had the papers ready to go, i took them to someone to get the legalized things done, and gave them to someone i know personally, had him served at work tonight since thats the only place i know where he is.. and guess what.. he lost his job. thank you guys so much for listening to me...i think i need another forum since i've heard mostly nothing but 'your wrong' on here... and when i told you guys something of how it would be... you told me i was wrong, i followed the advice.. and now he's fired... which is going to look horrible on me! thanks a f***ing lot!

[tigger]

The language is completely uncalled for. 

Who told you he was fired?  Him?  His boss can't just fire him because he got served.  That's like firing someone for being called into jury duty.  This is a civil matter, not criminal.  Something here isn't adding up. 

[ocean]

Something else is up.
Could he:
Be trying to get out of a child support order and telling you that you got him fired? (and if he has no job he thinks the judge will order 0 support?)
He has too many people visiting him and they warned him about it?
Maybe has other court issues happening (criminal) that the company is aware of?

If the server just handed him an envelope he can not get fired. If he went nutty after and refused to work, maybe he got fired for that.

If you do not believe us, call sonic headquarters and ask but they will tell you they do not have a policy of firing someone just because they were served a paper for civil court to show up.

Did you serve him divorce papers or letter on the move?

Either way, you will not look bad in court for having him served at work. If you had someone you know do it, there is a form they fill out and sign that they handed it to him. Did this person say anything to him or make a scene? Did he know this person? What did they see after they handed him the paper?

Even if he has not seen child in a while, it would be expected that he may have gotten a little upset reading your papers hearing that his child is being taken away to another state. Now it will be up to him what happens next.

[txmom702]

Y'all - it's SONIC...  Fast food places, and places like it, in a lot of places, are notorious for being hard-a$$e$ when it comes to things like that...    They don't need a reason

I love how anonymous people on a message board insist they know so much more than the actual people involved in the actual situation.  It's right up there with giving medical opinions and parenting opinions for kids they don't even know....  (sorry for the rant - been seeing too much judgment and too many persona opinions on not just this board but other ones as well)

[tigger]

I live in an "at will" state.  Even here there are rules that unless the person is in their probationary period, they have to have documented reasons for termination.  Perhaps Kansas has different standards.  And having never worked at a fast food joint, I based my response (as I'm sure others did) on our experiences.  At Duke, there is no way he could have been fired for being served.  He would have had to have violated one of the rules and then it would have had to go through the disciplinary track and termination would not have been the first step.

[Everyside]

I have to jump in here and say that the OP was given several different suggestions as to how to serve him without it happening at work (have a friend following him home or pay a private investigator to get you his address. They probably can get the info online fast without even following him, in the parking lot going in or out of work, ask that the server following him from work and serve him at home or wherever he stops next.) so I don't see where blaming this boad and using foul language to do so makes any sense.

On Feb 10, 2011, 05:22:49 am (according to the time stamp on my view of the board) you were not going to serve him at work because you didn't want him to get fired.  By Feb 10, 2011, 10:10:13 pm (again, my time stamp view) you had had him served, he was fired, you found out about the firing and posted here.

If you found out that he lost his job so quickly, you must have a pretty good way of keeping tabs on him so I find it hard to believe you couldn't serve him any other way. 

Coming back here after making the choice to serve him at his work and complaining that the posters here were at fault does not make sense.

Actually, this whole thing just doesn't make sense to me.