joint custody

[arodriguez]

my kids child dosnt want to let me see the baby she only lets me when she is in a good mood but once she gets mad she dosnt let me go see him i want to see him i want to file joint custody but i dnt have the money to do it. by the way she has a misdemeanor for shop lifing will that help me at all? please help me 

[bloom6372]

You can file yourself without an attorney for joint legal and physical custody (joint physical does NOT always mean 50/50, though. It just means you both share custody). Look at all of the parenting plans on this site as a basis for the proposed plan you will submit to the CO and to your ex. Try and settle out of Court using one of the plans (tweaked to your needs), and if she denies it, file with the Courts.

Are you documenting anything? If not, start NOW. Document every visitation (requested, allowed, denied, shortened, extended), every phone call (to and from your child, and to and from the BM--take notes on what was said). Start communicating through email, text, and USPS only if possible. If you do talk on the phone, send a follow up email/letter/text saying something like "To clarify our conversation on XX Date at XX Time, " then summarize what was said. End the email with "Please let me know of any discrepencies within X days" (if email or USPS, maybe 2-3 days. If by text, ask for a response within X hours).

Here's what we document:
Visitation Log
Date:               Allowed / Denied       Regular / Additional / Requested
If additional or requested, who requested/offered and why?
Present at start of visitation were:
Present at end of visitation were:
Phone Call Log
Date:         Time:
Call From:   Name:                            Number:
Call To:       Name:                            Number:
What was discussed?
Email Log (we put this in front of any communication sections with DH's ex, the teacher, the school, etc)
Sender      Receiver       Date        Subject          Reply
xxxx          xxxx             xxxx      xxxxxxx       xxxxx
xxxx          xxxx             xxxx      xxxxxxx       xxxxx
xxxx          xxxx             xxxx      xxxxxxx       xxxxx
Financials Log (not CS payments, because we have monthly pay reports for that, but you can put it in if you'd like!)
Date:
Item Purchased        Cost   Qty    Total Cost
xxx                      $         #       $
xxx                      $         #       $
xxx                      $         #       $
Total Cost                               $
Reason for purchase: (just because, school supplies, birthday present, clothing, food, etc)
STAPLE OR TAPE RECEIPT, WITH PURCHASES FOR THE CHILD(REN) HIGHLIGHTED. USE A NEW FORM FOR EACH RECEIPT
Communications Log (face-to-face interaction)
Date:                 Time:            Location:
Who was present?
What was said?
Concerns Log (we use this for things like when SD doesn't have properly sized clothing, or when DH's ex wouldn't allow testing for ADHD for a year and DH had to have it Court Ordered–and SD was diagnosed 11 months later–, or when she visited MIL on a Monday and then returned on Wednesday wearing the same clothes–underwear and socks included)
Date:
Concern:
Violation Log (for when you get a Court Order)
Date of Court Order: (this applies only if there are more than 1 Court Orders. My DH has 5, but only actually needs 4–one was a temporary order).
Page, Paragraph/Section: (so that you can easily refer to the Court Order if you need to show it to the Court)
Quote: (quote the section pertaining to the violation only–quote the whole paragraph, but not the whole page)
Date of Violation:
Violation: (state the violation without blame-i.e. instead of "As usual, BM can't seem to inform prior to SD's appointments", DH has "Mother did not inform Father of child's doctor's appointment". We refrain from using names in this log, since it could be used in Court, and it may confuse the judge with whose who since he has so many cases).
Proof: (here we list the date/subject of any emails, letters, etc to back up the violation, since DH only communicates with his ex via email).
Co-parenting Attempts (do this for BOTH parties)
Date:
Attempt:
Unwillingness to Co-Parent (do this for BOTH parties–these are things that should seem like common decency between parents, but that are not Court Ordered)
Date:
What Happened:

Also, make a TABLE OF CONTENTS for each log. Makes for easy reference when needed. Put the information in dated order (you can also divide by subject if you'd like for things like phone calls, email subjects[child support, decision making, violations, parenting time, etc], concerns[medical, dental, educational, health], etc). Start with the newest first, and ending with the oldest.
Keep everything that you document, even if you think you won't use it. You never know when it may be useful, and you may be able to establish a pattern over the years!

Good luck!