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Slander by exwife's mother

Started by bingobumpkin, May 31, 2011, 09:30:23 AM

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Have a question reguarding slander by my boyfriends exwife's mother.

To make a long story short,

       My boyfriend and his exwife have had multiple court cases involving TRO, child abuse, child protective services, custody and denied placement issues between WI and IL over the past 6 years since the divorce. His exwife had lost all her cases and all the false charges had been dismisssed by all agencies involved. However she continued to file cases after cases for frivilous accusations for the past 6 years.

This last summer his exwife had denied our summer vacation placement (of two extra days on our weekend) and we once again had to go back to court. My boyfriend and I agreed that if we had to go back to court again for something frivilous we would fight for more custody time during the summer since his daughter lives in IL and we live in WI,  no matter what the cost was. Needless to say $15,000 later, we now have 8wks during the summer, extended weekends on certain weekends during the school year and more holiday time now with his daughter. We really need all the extra time to bond more his his daughter, since all of these court issues and his exwife taken a toll on their relationship. We can move foward with hope in the future now.

Now his exwife's mother has posted on her facebook account (she signed me on as a friend 2 yrs ago, even though we are not) that his daughter is being abused here in WI and how could the GAL and State of WI allow a child to go to here fathers after all the cases in court. Stated on facebook that my boyfriend was charged with abuse,  she says the abuse was proven (which was not and dismissed by all agencies: Police, child services and court) and medical neglect. All of these claims are false.

States that the GAL was upset with the exwife and exwife's mother that she went over the GAL head and wrote the GOV of WI about the abuse.  Now the daughter has to spend the summer with her father as a payback from the GAL. That this is a case of WI -vs IL and about politics rambling. These two people refuses to believe or come to the conclusion that the courts and GAL have his daughter best interest in mind and after all the turmoil between the two is causing harm to the child that it is proper and fit to have their daughter spend the summer with her father is a right thing to do for the child.

His exmother in law is making claims that he is abusive to his daughter and medical neglect (he is also a firefighter and a EMT) to millions of people on facebook that is slanderous to his name, reputation due to her statements on facebook to friends and family. Some of the people who commented on her posting are feeling sorry for his daughter and does not have the correct story about what has really been going on.   

The question is, does my boyfriend have a slander case against his ex mother in law???

Any help would be greatly appreciated.



Get a restraining order against MIL. Print out facebook and hand it over to your local police and ask for harassment charges against her. See if your state has online harassment laws. My state just passed one.

You can defriend her on facebook and block her from all contact with you. If she really is your friend and you can post on her page...then take a great pic of the three of you smiling and have fun and post it on her page "hi grandma, having fun at dad's house".  LOL

You can fight it and maybe one time doing an RO against her may stop her but you can not control what people say/do. Ignore, especially if you are states away.

You can try a registered letter to MIL if you have her address:
I saw on facebook that you are spreading false information about me. Attached you will find all the dismissals from the cases you are referring to. XX loves being here and visiting my side of the family as I am sure she loves being with your side. I would like to see XX grow up with as many people loving her as possible. Please refrain from posting things on the internet that are not true. If this continues, I will be forced to file harassment charges. XX would be a happier if she did not see her family fighting and saying mean things that she can see on the computer. Attached are a few pics from this summer so far with XX. She is having a great time, and I will have her send you a letter from her in a few days. (LOL)
Thank you


I know you have been a great source for many people on this website, Thank you for replying.

I do not want to de-friend her yet due to the fact that she posts things on her site, that was the reason for MIL sending me a request for friend so she could see if we posted anything about them, which we have not. We do not play the games they like to play.

I still want to see if she will post more things over the summer when we have his daughter. I know this is going to go on all summer long since she has posted something every time they had a case and not on the receiving end from the court, always someone's fault why they lost..... Laws, GAL, her attorney supposedly not in their best interest, judge and so on...... not just the plain truth, there was no reason for these cases in court.

But I have checked out the WI laws and there is one for online harrassment. We will see what else gets posted and save all posts and get a RO, but like you said you cannot control what people say/do. I was hoping that maybe if she was fined or charged with slander that might help her understand to ease up. But who knows what she will do next??? We will have to wait and see.

We have sent letters to ex wife & MIL about these issues in the past and picture showing how much their daughter enjoys things we do, but that still does not change anything or their minds about us.

I have also posted picture of all of us and send them to Grandma already, needless to say she will post back how beautiful they are and then somehow posts to other people on how phony the pictures are and that his dughter is faking her smles and the fun she shows in the pictures. What can you do with a person like that??? Like I said we do not play their game.

Ii just really sucks since his daughter really does love spending time with us and there is always a hoop we must go thru to see her. But in the end result is his daughter and what this has done to her, hopefully sometime in her life she will see how much we love her and realize that it was mom who tried to stop their relationship. I just do not understand using children as pawns to hurt the other person.

Thanks again for your advice


On your settings for facebook, go to each item and put "except MIL name". Then she will only be able to see your one profile pic. When you add pics of even status, click "except...and put MIL name". I agree, keep enemies closer! Keep track and print out with dates what you find. You can photo catch any page and save it to your computer.

Take the high road unless it gets really ugly. Enjoy time with child with your side of the family and make memories. If she gets out of hand, then file. You can ask your local police department what you would need to file so you know how to document it for them.

I can tell you first hand, people like that just love drama and want people to believe them. As long as your families and friends are behind you, laugh it off as best you can on how nutty they are. Our PB, we have NO contact with in over 2 years and she STILL posts on facebook and sends things by mail to get to DH. We use laughter on how she can not move on and all her energy is on us.
Good luck!

Kitty C.

I strongly agree with ocean's advice, but also want to include that your BF must do this NOW.  Do NOT wait to see if she posts more crap on FB.  Given that he is a firefighter and EMT, his reputation and credentials could already be taking a beating.  Let's put it this way:  I am an EMT-B in Iowa....if I were accused of the same things your BF is being accused of (regardless of the source), it wouldn't be long till they would have my state certification on suspension.  But I'm only a volunteer.  I don't know how WI handles their emergency responder certs. regarding issues like this, and he's already probably had to deal with it in some shape or form due to the previous charges.  It's even possible that, given the history to date, the state dept. that oversees Fire/EMS certs. may see this for what it is...harrassment against him...and take it for what it's worth.  But to be honest with you, if my paychecks depended on those certifications, I wouldn't let any grass grow under my feet in defending them.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


Thank you both for you advice, Right now we are going to take the high road and hopefully we will not have to use the information, but have it if it gets ugly. I agree about keeping enimies closer, that's the reason for not befriending her yet. There has been previous issues with his EMT/ firefighter licences, but thankfully we had enought proof and evidence from agencies that it has not affected his licenses and the people in charge of those licences has seen her for who she is, a bitter and problematic exwife trying to cause problems. Thanks once again to you both.

Kitty C.

Whew!  I was hoping that was the case...family court may not read BM for who she really is, but state emergency services obviously has.  But you're right...keep your cards close to your chest and throw 'em on the table when/if the $hit hits the fan....
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


The family court & GAL is starting to see who she really is, they were at one time against us and now this last time we went back to court the tables had turned completely. I think if his ex continues to go down the path that she has taken the last 6 years, there is a possiblity that she may lose her daughter to us eventually, the court was that upset this last case with her. We of course do not want to distrupt his daughters life any more than we have to, and this summer is going to be a task to get his daughter to open up to us, but we are loving the fact we get a chance this summer to try to repair what has been done by his ex, but it will take awhile for the amount of damage and hopefully we can.  We don't like to play games with his daughters heart and the only one who gets hurt is his daughter, hopefully we can make her hurt go away this summer with the 8 wks we get.

I want to thank everyone who posts on this website. This is a great website for information, help, answers and rambling for people who really need it. If it was not for this website we never would have gotten the time we have now from the last court date. We followed alot of peoples advice from other posts and keeped track of everything that was told to keep track (emails, letters and ect) and actually won in court. We did have to spend $15,000 for this last case (due to this was involving Attorneys, GAL, Social Services, Phycolgical testing, Ect) but this one and  previous ones we did alot of the filing and court sessions ourselves and actually won thru this website suggestions.

Thank you all for your inputs that really do make a difference. Keep up the great work and I will continue to come here for the support and questions I need answered.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!