non-cutodial father seeking custody of non-compliant 15 yr old

[RedDawn]

My husband wants to gain custody of his 15 year old son.  His son is currently living 2 hours away from us with his single mother and her brother.  My husband has had a fairly reasonable relationship with BM throughout the 14 years following their separation and divorce.  Up to this year my ss mainly lived with the ex's parents because she was in and out of relationships.  Her parents were the only stability.  None of which could be proven of course.  In either of these two households there was/is little discipline or accountability for actions.  He pretty much does whatever he wants whenever he wants. A nice cushy arrangement for a teenager.  He has progressively been doing worse in school.  Barely scooting by 6th, 7th and 8th grade.  Passing those grades due in large part to his father--being as tough as he can be from 2 hours away.  My husband would drive 2 hours for a 15 minute parent/teacher conference. While mom wouldn't even drive 5 minutes. For the past two years the consequence for not doing well in school was to move here to Tennessee ( from NC). While BM would at first agree that it would probably be better if he were here with his dad, after ss would complain and say he didn't want to move, she just wanted to get rid of him, she didn't love him, she loved sbrother more, she would feel guilty and back down, then refuse to send him.  Promising that she would keep up with his school and stay on top of it.  She wanted to handle it.  This year he is a freshman in HS.  His first semester he had 2 D's and 2 F's.  He lied to his father about his grades all throught the semester, leading him to believe that he had C's or better.  His BM knowingly allowed him to do this.  Never once did she contact my husband to let him know that ss really wasn't doing well.  My husband didn't not get a report from school because he trusted them both to be honest.  Up to this point they had been.  At the end of the 1st semester when my husband still had seen no report card, he finally called the school and had them send one...unveiling the lying.  Again we went through the same discussions as the last two years...with her agreeing that he should come here.  SS manipulates her into changing her mind and again she refuses to send him. Because he doesn't want to go and she says we can take her to court if we want to but he is at the age to choose and no judge would send him.  She is willing for him to come, but she isn't going to make him come.  We have to convince him to do it.  While he enjoys and looks forward to coming to visit on weekends, he doesn't want to move, I'm sure, because he knows my husband would make him tow the line.  Of course I know he would miss his mom and family and friends.  But I think giving up his free reign is the biggest issue.  He has his mom under his thumb.  My question is this....do we have any chance of getting custody of him?  Has anyone been in the same circumstance? If he remains in his current situation I don't forsee him graduating from HS.  I feel like his future is on the line and she is just letting it go down the tubes.  Is there anything we can do about it?

[cowgirl]

Believe me when i say i know where you are coming from & how you feel.  My DH is going through the same situation w/his daughter.  She is 14 yrs old & failing 9th grade & has been struggling in school for yrs.  DH just got served w/court papers on Sunday b/c Ex wants the courts to put it in writing that SD doesn't have to visit & will visit when she (SD) is ready.  DH hasn't seen SD in over 8mos & when he pressed the issue for SD to come visit he wants to help her pass her classes & help ake up work & wants to visit & talk to her to see what's been going on why she hasn't visited in so long DH gets served court papers.  Have to go to court on 4/6 in NY.  DH has been thinking about going for custody but doesn't know if he would win or if it would back fire on him b/c of all the damage the BM has done for so many yrs...

[Sunshine1]

just curious...but I don't think it is legal to be "served" on a Sunday.  It isn't in our state anyway.