What would you take?

[Cookiemomma4]

Silly question...but we go before the custody master on Fri and we are Pro Se.  I am wondering what kinds of "evidence" you would take with you for a custody matter.   Any and all answers are appreciated... without tipping our hands lets just say there are all kinds of issues in this case, but this is the first hearing and the parties have been seperated for 3 years with BM haveing assumed primary physical custody and BF having assumed physical custody everyother weekend and whenever else BM would allow (he works long hours 6 days a week so long assumed that it was in daughters best interests to be with her mother, this recently has shown itself not to be the case...).  Please go with any situation you can contrive in your mind...what would you take with you from medical records of child and adults...to PFAs...to pictures...to letters from anyone...to statements from anyone...We have been beating our heads against the wall here trying to figure out what we could possibly be missing and we want to have all grounds covered and at hand should any questions arrise...we have yet to see her pretrial statement...

[Stepmom0418]

I know in my Dh's case we went in with EVERYTHING from medical records, letters, emails, log of any and all contact with BM and/or SS and other family members, police reports, criminal records (both our side as well as theirs because Dh's attorney said if we didnt take both it would seem like we were hiding something), tape recordings (from the answering machine as well as actual conversations) (we are in a 1 party state), pictures, school records, DHS (CPI) reports, as many wittnesses as you can possiably bring.


Pretty much I would advise to take anything and I mean ANYTHING that you may need. You never know what kind of stuff the other side is going to bring so bring it all with you just in case! Better to have it at court with you than to regret it later because you didnt have it there.


Heres some links that you may find useful

http://deltabravo.net/custody/fivelessons.php
http://deltabravo.net/custody/tips.php
http://deltabravo.net/custody/pro-se.php
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/thelist.php
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/prepare.php

There's a few for you. If you post more about the situation I may be able to find even more web pages for you. Good Luck!
http://deltabravo.net/custody/pro-se.php

[Cookiemomma4]

Thank you...I am trying not to tip our hand here at this point in the game, but  i think you came up with a great list of things that we need to take...most of which we thought of...it just seems like there is something that we are missing that may come to bite us in the @ss ya know.  We are trying to cover any possibility!  Thank you!

[IceMountain]

Does your evidence need to be submitted to the court prior to your court date?  I don't mean to make you panic, but we had to provide a list and copy of our evidence to the opposing lawyer and court prior to the court date.  Opposing counsel then had to check off whether they had any objections to the evidence.

Every county/state has different court rules, but you may want to check into this to prevent a huge 'bite in the @ss'.

[Stepmom0418]

You are welcome!! Again Good Luck!!

[Stepmom0418]

This is something that I neglected to think of but after you mention it ........we too had to submit everything ahead of time. Not to the courts but to the other party. it was part of discovery. I would suggest checking on this too.

[IceMountain]

(I edited my original post to add this, but I don't know where it went so I'm re-posting it)

Some of the things we took to court for a modification were:

1.  Pictures of my son's room here and our house/yard
2.  Calendars which had time divided on them and highlighted in different colors for each parent.
3.  A thorough parenting plan proposal
4.  E-mail's from teacher/school
5.  Schedules for extra-curricular activities
6.  Pictures of my son doing activities at my house
7.  Pictures that showed a clear bond between me and my son
8.  Detailed attendance records and copies of my son's IEP and report cards.

Take/gather any evidence you have that will rebute any claims that you think the other side will make.  (my ex was claiming my son and me did not have a bond, so I took pics and had witnesses testify that proved otherwise)

According to my lawyer, it is better to have somebody testify in person than to have a written statement.  Testifying gives the judge a chance to witness their demeanor which can give weight to any decision the judge renders.

[Cookiemomma4]

Hmmmm... I was told that Discovery did not apply to custody cases unless it is granted by court order.  This is in accordence with Rule 1930?  We are in  PA and it states:  
Rule 1930.5. Discovery in Domestic Relations Matters.
(a) There shall be no discovery in a simple support, custody or Protection from Abuse
proceeding unless authorized by order of court.
(b) Discovery shall be available without leave of court in accordance with R.C.P. 4001
et seq. in alimony, equitable distribution, counsel fee and expense and complex support
proceedings.

But thank you for thinking of this...it dawned on me that this may be an issue about a week ago and I went researching it!  You all are so helpful!

[Cookiemomma4]

For pictures...should we have them printed out and on disc too?  Or am I going overboard here?  TIA

[IceMountain]

When we went to court, all of the evidence was placed in a binder, so we used actual pictures.  

As far as a disc goes, you may want to have your proposal put on disc and have it available.  As we were leaving the courtroom, our attorney offered a disc to the court reporter.