Split custody

[taz_bb2]

I am just beginning the divorce process. Will probably be seperated tonight or tomorrow.

We have 2 children, a 6 yr old boy and 12 yr old girl. My girl has already told me that she wants to live with me. She knows what's going on, and sees too much of my wife's Mom in her. (History of physical and emotional abuse in my wife's childhood. Borderline emotional/mental abuse with our children)

What are in the chances of a split custody arrangement from the courts? My wife will fight this tooth and nail as she wants to "take me to the cleaners." I'm willing for my boy to live with her, and my daughter to live with me, which I think is the best for everyone.

We live in FL, if it helps. Thanks everyone.

[CustodyIQ]

Your position always has to be based upon what's best for the kids.  It's not about fairness or best for "everyone".  Only about best for the kids.

So, you'll have to convince a court that while it's best for the boy to live primarily with mom, it's best for the girl to live primarily with you.

The girl is of an age where a court would consider her perspective.  But her testimony should come through a psychologist's report to the court (i.e., as to what the girl feels/wants and why), not forcing the child to testify in court.

Frame your argument around best interest of the children.  What would you tell a judge, from that angle?  And -- if it's due to mom's instability -- how do you convince a judge of that when you're simultaneously saying your son is fine over there?!

[seansmom]

If your wife is borderline emotional/mental abuse with your children why would you want your youngest child to reside with her alone? I would think you would want your older daughter there to help look after him.....

On another note judges are very unlikley to seperate siblings. If your wife fights for your children "tooth and nail" your chances are slim. I'm not saying there's not a chance, but even though courts say they are not, they are bias against fathers.

You can also request a custody evaluation if you feel your wife suffers from mental problems. But they are very costly (mine cost 2,800), very time consuming, very stressfull, and your children will have to be involved. And there is no guarentee the evaluator will side with you and not your wife.

I know this sounds grim but as a wife who won a very long custody battle including a custody evaluation I know what i'm talking about.

Good Luck to you!