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is mother in contempt?

Started by shellcode, Nov 25, 2011, 08:19:08 PM

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I supposed to thanksgiving day with my daughter 12-7 by court order visits.But i have false accusation order of protection which im fighting for.So i get txt from my daughter grandmother saying the child is sick,and that she going to the hospital and that it no further information from the mother.

So i have exchange to pick-up and drop off my daughter at the precint,And i try to get a police report,but the cop didn;t, he "said if the child is sick than she sick"So he call the grandmom asking if it tru and she said,"we have a doctor note.

is that a vaild reason to denied visitation? is she held in contempt? i could of took the child to the hosptial.So today i have visits again,and her grandmom dropped her off the child seem very well just a lil cold,and the starting up a arguement,and i told her i could of took her to the hospital,she said no because u a bum,insulting me of my child,and she was talking to the child mom on the phone..

I don't know what to do,evertime i get my child and try to be a parent they wanna fight,and insult me


First, do not speak to Grandma or anyone at pick up. Talk to child and police officer. IGNORE any talk about you and get in car and leave. Ignore most comments on text. Let phone calls go to voicemail.

Call child's dr and ask to speak to dr on phone. Ask how daughter was and that you received his "note" that she was not well enough to come to your house for Thanksgiving. Be nice but firm.

Next go to the hospital and get child's records from that day. You probably will pay a copy charge. See what it says.

Then go to family court and fill out modification to parenting/visitation plan. Ask that: "father requests a few lines be added to parenting plan to ensure their time together and make exchanges easier.
1. Father will pick up child, even if sick, unless a dr writes a note stating child can not travel and the reason why. Father will be told immediately. If child is in hospital, father will have visitation time without mother/grandmother present for 2 hours each day of confinement. If child is in serious condition, father will be able to stay at hospital and see child as much as mother/grandmother.
2. Any parenting time misses due to sickness will be made up the following weekend from xx to xx.
3. Father requests Thanksgiving 2012 from xx time to xx time, since mother/grandmother refused to allow child to come even when child was well enough to come 24 hours later with no medication.
4. At exchanges, there will be no speaking to either party at all. Mother/Grandmother will stay in car and father will get child and bring child to his car. This exchange will remain at the police station. (if child is old enough, child will walk from one car to another). If/When child is school age, put in that father will pick up from school at dismissal. You can write this now and have it begin with Kindergarten. Put details, father will have custody every other fri...at dismissal...and every wed during the week from dissmisal....time?).
5. All communication will be through text or emails. In case of emergency,mother may text father anytime.

Ignore, and when you have child, enjoy time together. If child sees it, just say, this is between the adults and Ill take care of it later, lets go do...xyz. Remain calm at all times. Go see a counselor for a few months during this crazy time/court. It will get worse until you have a detailed plan and plan that they can not communicate with you. Since you have a RO, see if had 3rd party contact. This means mother can not use grandma to communicate anything to you (except child issues of importance).



No one including adults wants to move around when sick.

Most illness doesnt require drs visit and thus no note. Would you really want your sick kid taken to a germy clinic to catch something else?

Try to separate needs of kid from attitude and lack of cooperation from x and her family.

As said, dont argue. It wont help your relationship w kid if you are standing there saying wasnt REALLY sick. You wouldnt like that. Its antagonistic - to KID - you dont want to sound like that, right?

Limit communications and focus in your relationship w kid, when in contact. Communicate w drs directly and dont use info as cause to argue  w x or x family.


In my experience whatever your actions of the moment, document, document, document. One missed visitation is not going to land your ex in contempt, but a dozen plus other items all put together will be more telling.


Forge....if it's long distance, then YES, one missed time can land the other parent there.

Find a copy of the records in the hospital that she went to -- even if you have to call around to find it.
and watch for patterns.....of denial.


Agree to document the oversight in its entirety. Also, remember that it's only the father that is contempt never the mother!