stressful turn overs

[neutron11]

My DH and BM are going through a custody battle  for their 4 year old son. My SS is a wonderful little boy and I adore him. When he is with us, he is really affectionate with me, hugs me constantly and likes to play with me. I have no doubt that he loves me and has bonded with me.  I have been in his life since he was only hardly 2 years old so he is used to see me and his daddy together all the time.

I know that I am an important part of his life. Right now we have the standard every other weekend schedule and some time during the week plus alternate holidays. My DH and I usually pick him up from daycare on Fridays and drop him at a public place on Sundays evenings to return him to his mom. Sometimes, though, we need to pick him up directly from his mom's and that's when the situation becomes stressful for me.

A child that is always showing love to me and his daddy and who is completely happy in our household, becomes a tearful toddler telling me "go away" and "I want my mommy". It's really heartbreaking. I try not to take it personally because just ten or fifteen minutes later, once we are on our way to our home, he is cheerful and happy again. But I'm afraid his mom is going to use this reaction against us in court, saying that my SS doesn't want to be with me. Do you have any idea why he is behaving like that?

He has become more vocal lately, I guess because he is growing up and being more aware of what is going on. We have always thought that BM fosters co-dependancy and he is a sensitive boy so maybe he is picking up that? I just don't know how to help him transition easier.

Any help you guys can provide will be great! At this point, I get really stressed out every time we need to do a pick up. Now even in daycare, he tells me 'go away' the moment he sees me.   I just give him some space and starts playing with other children and after a few minutes he will come to me and hug me and be his usual loving self.

[Waylon]

The child may be showing signs of Parental Alienation (http://deltabravo.net/cgi-bin/search.cgi?Terms=Parental+Alienation&Realm=All). Click the link and read up on this:

Parental Alienation Information Archive (http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm)

[neutron11]

thanks, Waylon. I have thought about that but I don't think BM is doing anything actively right now. She is struggling with PTSD so that might be influencing my SS. In the past, though, she did say things in front of my DH that might suggest PAS but my SS was then quite little. Anyways, he witnesses quite crazy behavior on his mom's part so it doesn't surprised me that he behaves the way he does at separation.

[DadsCrushed]

I agree that it is more than likely PAS but also remember that the hearsay statements of a 4 year old will be inadmissible in court.