What father rights?

[jeffagu]

Situation in a nut shell..
My ex and I have enjoyed an amicable relationship since our divorce. Five years ago while we all lived in Florida she came to me and asked that I allow her to move to Houston with our son so she could finish her bachelors degree. Believing it is important that my son have two parents who have college degree's I agreed with the UNDERSTANDING that when she was done she'd move to where I live. Which is now Phoenix AZ.... During this time we've talked about her coming here and where she'd live. As far as child support has goes... we use to do it thru the state.. but for the last 4.5 years she's had access to my bank account and just withdrew her child support on a bi-weekly schedule.
She's now finished school and tells me that she's moving to Florida and there are no if's ands or buts...
I've spoke with two attorneys.. one in AZ the other in TX and both said I'd be fighting a loosing battle to try to get her to move here.... Per our agreement.. and my chances of getting physical custody of my son is next to 0% since I can't demonstrate she's a bad mother.
No wonder you see on the news where ex husbands kill their ex wives....

At this point seems the only thing I can do to cause her some pain is close my bank account and let her go thru the battle of the courts to get child support.... Unless anyone else has some additional thoughts

[notnew]

How have your rights been violated? Has she denied you access to your child?  Has she cleaned out your bank account?  Does she take good care of the child?

While I agree with you that if the two of you talked and agreed that she'd go to live in AZ and then backed out, that was not nice. However, you did state that in the beginning you were both living in FL and she asked to go to Houston to finish her degree. My feeling from that was that she would return to FL. You chose to move to AZ for whatever reason. Obviously, she wants to return to FL. Perhaps  you should consider doing the same if you want to maintain your relationship with your child.

Why would you force her to battle the courts for child support? You want to punish your child for the disagreement you are having with her or becuase you can't force her to do what you want her to do? The set up you have with her having access to your bank account is highly irregular.

You have been burned - it it's not in writing (and in family law cases - contained in a court order), it means nothing. Take it as a lesson learned and don't be pissed. Seeking revenge will backfire on you.

Buddy, you have no clue what kinds of things people are going through. While I will say there is no justification for killing your ex-wife or the judge in your case, I can certainly understand where the level of anger comes from to commit such an act. The increase in these types of incidences in our country should be an alarm to the family court system that the time for change is HERE and NOW. However, I have to say that based on what you've relayed, you haven't been jerked around nearly as bad as others have been. Count your blessings and move ahead instead of living in the past.

I may be wrong and you may not have revealed all the information, but this is how I see it based on your post.

[cinb85]

for some reason I can't delete the message.

[cinb85]

You sound like a real nice guy and a good dad.  But....if you close your bank account, who are you REALLY going to hurt?  In the long run, you are going to hurt your son!  Please think this through.  And....Good Luck!!!!  I hope that you come to an agreement that is best for your son!
Your son has been lucky enough to have BOTH parents in his life so far.  I hope that continues.  Children need both parents!

[maid marion]

Her backing out of the agreement is a reflection of her character not yours. You've obviously been able to get along for all this time so please don't damage that now for the sake of your child. (How old is your child?)
I would definately close her access to your account but definately do not deny your child support. Instead, send the support yourself and avoid a big fight. Sometimes as separated parents one has to bite the principle bullet to keep the peace and you'll be a better person for it. It may not be right but it's the right response to the situation. Do whatever you have to do to keep a good relationship with your child. Maybe you could consider moving back to FL. yourself but if that's not reasonable due to your current situation then just remember.........you and your child managed to get through those years that your ex lived in TX and if you keep on keeping on then you'll get through these years in FL. Is it possible that you and ex can somehow create more time for you with the little one?
Whatever you choose to do just remember......if your looking at your child and he/she is smiling back then things are going ok!
God Bless,
Maid Marion

[jenjen]

It's hard to believe that you USE to pay your support threw the state (of  florida?) and now she just withdraws from your bank account? how in the world did the state of florida ever allow you to do that?? was there ever a court order for support?

I had the same type of arrangement before getting custody of my children and the state of florida screwed me good, the other parent said that i didnt pay support and when I produced evidence and the other parent admitted to the arrangement. the state concluded that it was not court ordered support so in a nut shell it didnt count. and started me over threw them along with thousands and thousands of dollars in arrears...afer that my attorney was so mad she filed a complaint and moved her pracice to another state.

I have custody of my children now and yes you guesssed it I get NO child support.

with your ex's new degree her income should improve.  move back to florida and be with your son, you never know she could change her mind snd movr to az you could show her the benefits of the move for her and your son, maybe better carreer opportunity in az