denying visitation due to endangerment

[stepmom12]

My husband has full custody of his children.  They are being exposed to a person that sexually assaulted the oldest and now both children are acting out here @ home.....that along with her alcohol/drug abuse, inconsistent visits, inability to provide adequate food, shelter, clothing and medical/mental care, we decided to stop sending them over.  She has "reasonable visitation" under MN law.  She was offered supervised visits but refused and lawyered up.

We started filling out paperwork to have visitation switched to supervised but wonder if we are better off waiting for her lawyer to file and see what's up their sleeve? It is my understanding that at this point, the law is on our side and it's up to her to make the first move.  We haven't denied visits, simply offered a way for it to happen, safely.

[ocean]

Has her lawyer contacted you?
Did she really get a lawyer or just saying she talked to one? Our ex used to say "my lawyer said..."but never really hired anyone.
Is child protective services involved or have an open case? What do they say/suggest?

If she has a lawyer, send the supervised offer in writing to them/her so you have proof you tried to give her access to the kids in a safe way. You will have to prove that something changed since the last court hearing to now want supervised. Get that proof/documentation - police reports.

You can file first and request supervised visits until trial as there is a safety concerns since xxx happened. That father is willing to foster a relationship with children and mother in a safe way. That you request all parents take a drug test and that mother complete a drug/alcohol program as a condition of getting unsupervised visits. (if you can prove she has problems). If she has no place for them to sleep then the visits should not be overnight until she has a bed for each child. Offer her hours that do not require her to feed them ..after lunch until dinner? Offer to send them with a sandwich/drink? Show that you are trying and will meet her in any public place for a few hours per week.

Did the abuse just happened? Does that child want or should see child? Is that child in counseling?

[stepmom12]

Yes, she actually does have a lawyer.  We received a letter from him stating that he has reviewed the divorce decree, blah, blah, blah.  Would we be ok addressing his letter and correcting her mistruths?  I don't want to open a can of worms before needed....

The initial assault was early 2011 but wasn't reported to law enforcement as the families were close.  My husband never thought his daughter would be in a situation where he wouldn't be supervising them around this boy.

There have been so many instances just in this calendar year of her not providing food, no heat in the apartment, subjected to the boy recently and their behaviors changed.

The boy hasn't received any counseling and we just got the girls into counseling last month.  They have also been neglected concerning medical and dental care....one of them is disabled and none of that has been properly addressed until I came into the picture......

We have a lot of documentation, I keep very detailed records of everything......

When we started to see the behaviors arise, she was asked simply to keep the boy away when the girls were there.....she refused. 

Child protection said there are no safety concerns as long as we keep the girls away from the situation.....but we could get legally in trouble.....but then if we send them over, we are endangering them and CPS will have a case against US then!  the system doesn't work very well......

[tigger]

It seems odd that the incident wouldn't be reported AND that contact would continue.  How old are the children (the girls and the boy)?

[ocean]

Family court will only care about what is the situation now.
You can file for modification that xx not be allowed near children during their time at their mother's house.

Does she have heat now? If not, then file to change where visitation will happen and no overnights until mother has adequate heat/food/beds for each child.

Will the counselor see mother with children?

If he has/had custody, all medical and dental should be done with you so that part is over.

Call social services person and say the child has been at visitations and you want to reopen the case to make sure they are safe.