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Need information on shared parenting-urgent

Started by mistoffolees, Sep 27, 2006, 05:59:10 AM

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mistoffolees

My state (OK) has a preference for 50:50 physical custody unless one parent can show that the other one is unfit. My wife insists that her friend (who's allegedly a counselor) says that this is hard on the kids and that the child should have one home with visitation to the other. My daughter is extremely close to both of us and there's no doubt in my mind that she'd do very well with alternating weeks. However, I need to find some articles which show that this is not bad for the kids. 

I've already printed a bunch of articles from this site, but would appreciate it if anyone has any more.

Can anyone provide any articles which support 50:50 physical custody?

Thanks.

ocean

I do not have any articles (you can probably find some on-line)but:
How far are you now from child?
Is the child in school? Are you in school district?
What have you been doing already?

The closer you are, the better (especilly for school). If you can give child their own space in your house-great. You really need to prove that the child will benefit being in both houses. (involved father in school, dr's appointments, and activities). That your work schedule fits. I would also get a counselor to defend the 50/50 custody.

mistoffolees

None of those are any issue. In fact, I'll be closer to her school than my stbx. I've always been very, very involved in her activities. If you added it up, I've probably spent more evening and weekend time with her than my wife. My daughter will have her own bedroom and probably a separate play room (but maybe not, depending on which house I rent). She'll have a piano, etc. Her dog and cat will stay at the old house, but that's about all she'll miss.

Fortunately, the question is now a moot point. My wife shocked me by agreeing to 50:50 custody last night. Looks like I won't have to prove anything after all.

Thanks.

Mamacass

That is awesome that you are able to do 50:50 custody.  At one point, my SS spent his time equally between our home and his mother's home in 2 week increments.  That was the best thing for him. Of course BM was a completely different person then, not sure it would work now.  
Anyways, when the parents can be civil (at the least) and share equal time, I think the child benefits so much.  I didn't know any state supported the 50:50 custody.  I wish Virginia would become one of those states.  

williaer

I'm just going to give you fiar warning and heads up...we have 50-50 with my step daughter and although we all think it is in her best interest, it is hard on her. She has two totally differnt lives- nothing really wrong with either- but they are different and she goes through this thing where she feels like she has to shut off one family and turn on the other and vice versa. While it is a good theory- we do a 2 week split and it is a little hellish for everyone.

She is going to see a child psychiatrist to be evaluated for her depression issues, etc...just don't get upset when it isn't the perfect life you imagine it will be...but it can be worked through.