50/50 Custody battle in WA, Help Needed

[fatheroftwowa]

I am currently engaged in a custody battle to get 50/50 custody in WA. The divorce has not been finalized yet and currently my time with the children is very limited. I am Pro Se and still learning to navigate the system.

First and foremost, are there any resources you can recommend that can help me with writing motions and provide strategic legal advice pertaining to the family law in WA?

Secondly, WA provide custody evaluations via the family services dept which is almost free or you can request for a private custody evaluators which can be costly. Are there any benefits or disadvantages going with one vs the other?

Thanks in advance for your help.

[DadsCrushed]

I don't know why your time is limited if the divorce is not finalized. Is there an Order identifying limitations?

If not, spend time with your children; otherwise, the Court may apply "status quo" and award custody to the mother due to the fact that she spends most of the time with the children.

In order to win, you will need to prove that the best interests of the children are served with you. I'm certain there are custody factors to consider when awarding custody. Review them and make sure you satisfy each one and argue how the mother does not.

Why do you want a Custody Evaluator? Sounds like another layer of BS; been there done that. The disadvantages to both is bias, another mind to persuade, costs, etc.

I would prepare by reading everythig you can get your hands on. This is a very good website but read some of the WA decisions on custody. They will familiarize you with the Rules and Code, as well as the langauge.

Good luck

[limitedgrace]

I agree with what was said by DadsCrushed and that you should spend quality time and use caution when Evaluators & GALs are involved.  Know that as a male in the state of WA, there is bias already against you.  It's sad, but the reality of the situation.

Forms:   Google "WA Courts Forms".  It will give you the link.  The forms you need are in the "Ending the Marriage" section.  If you pursue this, know that there is a TON of paperwork and you will likely need to spend some significant time going to free law clinics and to the courthouse.  We chose to retain a lawyer for this reason (and because I couldn't be my husband's paralegal and keep my real job - too much to take on.)  I'm not saying it can't be done but trying to give you reasonable expectations for what is involved.  And not that I love Family Law lawyers, but they will have experience with what to expect from judges, lawyers, and how they interpret the law.  If you need help getting a "good" lawyer, I suggest getting recommendations from reputable mediators and then calling around and interviewing them.  You will want to find out what they charge, when they charge, their staff (and their costs to you), how and how often they will communicate with you, THEIR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS for your case, their ethical policy (do they double bill??), and you'll get an overall feeling of their personality and if you will work well together.

Lastly, I hope to impart some of what I've learning in dealing with the state of WA & the Family Law Industry in general:
~  Even if you are a truly great dad, a dad who loves his kids, wants a relationship with them, and wants to protect them - the minute you are on the other side of the table from their mom, you get lumped in with all the negligent dads and are seen by the mother and the Court as a source of revenue.  (See Social Security Act Title IV-Part D). 
~  You have to go above and beyond to prove yourself worthy of custody.  And even then, there are no guarantees.
~  DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!  I CANNOT stress this enough.  It's a pain, but otherwise it's he said/she said.  If you can't have a conversation with her without hanging up or getting mad or being otherwise unproductive, email and keep it civil.  Save every email, capture every text (there ARE apps for that), write down what happened when it doesn't happen in writing. 
~  Pay up.  It doesn't matter to the Court what you think about what you are ordered to pay.  Please trust me on this.  The easiest way to make the Court your LIFELONG arch-enemy is to neglect your financial obligations.  If you don't pay/pay late/make short payments you are setting yourself up for an even longer, harder road.  If you think it should be different, go through the process of getting it changed - but for your own sake, pay every penny until it's recorded as another amount.
~  Make SURE you get every Court document and Order.  If you don't understand what it says or what is happening in the process, for pity's sake, ASK.  You are not any less of a person for not understanding!  Too many good guys don't want to deal with it or feel inferior by admitting they don't "get" it.  Lawyers are not gods.  In fact, you pay them, so make sure they earn all that money!


God's blessings upon you.  Keep taking the high road.  We are told by those older and wiser that loving your kids goes farther than all the money in the world.

[Waylon]

Please have a look at the pages here: ]Document, document, DOCUMENT! (http://deltabravo.net/cms/search.php?q=document&s=Search&r=0)

It's crucial to document things properly in ANY court case, but especially so in custody cases.