Custodial Parent Moving With Child 3 hours away.

[loveemall]

I am planning on a move approximately 2-3 hours away from our child's mom.  She agrees and understands the reason for my move.  She works full time and even when she does have time with our child she doesn't really do anything with our child.  In other words our child is off doing the usual gaming, watching TV, on the computer, etc., instead of the mother actively doing something with our child.  I wish to move our child to another, larger city with larger schools and the potential of more friends and more activities so he can grow up with more rather than less.  I am disabled so I have all the time in the world to spend with my child.  We are considering for our child to go to school where I reside then come to the mother's home town to visit on the weekends.  Some people suggest only doing the mother's parenting time every other weekend.  I disagree because time with the mother is important as long as they are actually participating together.  The problem is that she works odd ours.  WHAT TO DO?  I love our child very much, we are bonded and have a great relationship where we do things together and like the same things.  I have more opportunities in this move to find someone special who has and loves kids and will make great friends for our child.  We currently live in a small mountain community where it seems everybody knows everybody and nothing can be said or done without someone your spouse knows knowing about it and vise-versa.  Any ideas, suggestions, critique, etc is welcome.  Please be respectful with your answers.  I only wish the best for our child but admittedly my happiness is also to be taken into account.  We currently live in an area where she is from and her family is located, a place I never would have moved us if I had had a choice in the matter.  Thanks to everyone who participates.

[ocean]

If mom agrees to the move you are good. Ask mom to give you a schedule of when she would like child during school year. Use the school calendar at the new school to come up with long weekends when school has off on Monday or Friday, winter or spring break? And offer summer time if she is able to have daycare for child. Most months there is a long weekend so make sure mom gets that weekend. You would be responsible for transportation since you moved. You will have to do most of the driving. 3 hours one way every weekend is a lot of driving.

I am sure child watches TV and uses computer on your time too and you are not doing something with child 24/7. Mom may parent differently then you and that is okay. You mentioned friends for your child but that is not a reason to move. If mom fights the move, it will be hard fight. Many courts do not allow move a ways especially if the other parent is getting parenting time and using it. You are not moving for a job. Courts here have told parents in your situation that they can move but child remains (custody goes to other parent so child stays near family, same school, and friends).

As long as she agrees, then find a schedule that works. Mom does not need to be there 24/7 just like you may use a babysitter or have someone watch child for a few hours. Good luck.

[loveemall]

@Ocean - Thank you for your input.  Believe me when I say that I am in a major crossroads right now.  I want my son to be happy, healthy and secure.  What location would be the best is impossible to answer at the moment.  Mom does agree and she would certainly have our son every weekend and extended weekends and certain holidays.  We are being very amiable with each other because our son's happiness and security is, by far, the most important issue.  I am seriously considering staying here because I am starting to believe it would be best for our son.  I clearly need to get over my ex cheating on me and get over the pain I feel seeing her with another man when I have been faithful for the thirteen years we have been together.  Yes, I want to snap and get mad and get up and move .... but, that is not how I want this handled.  He needs the love and time with his mother...of that I have no disillusions.  I do not degrade his mother in front of him, in fact, I do not degrade her at all because I am still in love with her.  Anyway, I have no problem with the drive and we have agreed that we can meet half way on occasion.  We live in a small community now and by moving to a bigger area and possibly better schools we are helping to insure his future is going to be bright.  On the other hand, he has friends here, he has family here and that is something important, indeed, that we have to keep in mind.  Once again, thanks for your input and concerns.