ex moved away do we need to adjust agreement?

[sarasue]

My ex and I have been divorced 3 years.  When we divorced, we lived in the same county.  We established a joint-parenting agreement in which I have primary custody, he had twice weekly and every other weekend visitation and we have joint legal custody.  6 months ago, he chose to move out of state.  Not for a job, not for a relationship but because he didn't like the state we lived in.  I did not object to this move.  We have verbally agreed on the adjusted parenting agreement including his visitation, holidays, and that he pays for 100% of travel for visitation.  Since then, I have been pushing him to make the agreement official by filing with the court.  He refuses.  My question is, what are the risks to my kids and to myself of allowing the situation to persist?  Is it worth the expense and bad blood of pushing the issue and forcing him into mediation or court?  Finally, he has threatened to get an attorney in his new state...am I correct in assuming that won't really do any good for him since the divorce occurred in my state and that is where the children reside?

[ocean]

Why is he threatening a lawyer in his state?
Any future court dates will only be allowed in your state so do not worry about that.

If it is all working, then let it be. Send him a letter with the new schedule and holiday/summer schedule and have him get it notarized (at bank or library). Then tell him, you won't file unless there is an issue. Keep a calendar of when he takes them, when he cancels. If/when you go to court next, you will have what has been happening all this time.

The need for court is when you do not agree with days/times. So if it is working, you can leave it alone.

[Kitty C.]

I agree with ocean....if it's working right now, let it go.  It's only when you disagree to this arrangement that you would have to go to court.  BUT....keep VERY good records on how you are implementing the change.  Courts like 'status quo', so if you do have to go to court and you can provide documentation that you agreed to this revised schedule AND it had been working up until then, the court takes a very serious look at that.  Only if there were extenuating circumstances that would not allow one of you to follow the revised agreement would the court consider something else.

[sarasue]

Thank you for the responses and suggestions.  I agree, it's basically working for now and I'd rather not go back to court.  I was afraid that it would come back to bite me that I didn't have any of the agreements formalized.  However, at this point, he's paying for travel and using less time with the kids then his allotment, which is disappointing to me as I feel that he is all but abandoning them, but not a reason to drag him back into court.  How he forms and reinforces a relationship with them is his issue.  I will support what time he chooses to spend with them.

As for why he is threatening an attorney in his state... I don't know really, just to be spiteful?  He often threatens me that he will take me back to court.  What he thinks he will get out of it is beyond me.  I've already commented on his parenting time, I've agreed to accept less than state guidelines in child support, he's supposed to cover all of kids health insurance, but I carry it and pay half.  He often doesn't reimburse me for half of kids activities and he didn't pay one dime for our son's orthodontia.  That on top of voluntarily moving thousands of miles away from his kids.  So I can't conceive of what he thinks he would gain.