Just Learned Mom Has Been Hiding Felony Arrests and Drug Addiction - Help!

[Oldspeak]

I am currently living in Texas but my daughter and ex are in Pierce County, Washington which has jurisdiction. Yesterday my daughter finally told me that prior to approximately one year ago she had actually been living in secret full time with her grandparents off an on for a period of 2-3 years. My daughter explained that this situation was instigated because my ex wife was unable to care for her due to a prolonged problem she developed with addiction. And so my ex wife and her mother and father in separate households colluded to enable my ex wife's addiction and hide my daughters living situation from the world because they all knew that legally my daughter should have been living with me as her father and non-custodial parent during this time. Which they all new I wanted and why they made every effort to remove me from the equation.

My daughter was forced to be directly involved in this conspiracy for years and motivated by the lie that if she were to come live with me she would never be able to see her mother or grandparents again. I believe that what my ex wife and her parents subjected my daughter to could easily be described as emotional/psychological abuse and I have not been able rule out the possibility of further physical abuse or neglect having occurred as a result of my ex wife's addiction and leading up to the need for my daughter to be cared for by someone other than her mother as the custodial parent. After further investigation on my part I learned today that my ex wife has racked up 4 felony arrests in the lpast two years for possession of meth & heroin, robbery, assault, resisting arrest, bail jumping and criminal impersonation - whatever that is?!?

Can anyone please offer any advice on what to do... my daughter doesn't want to leave her mom and I honestly don't know yet if she even needs to. I'm just really worried right now and whatever I do I'd hate to subject my daughter to anymore stress by doing something like calling CSP... which maybe I should. I'm pretty bright and don't have much money these days for a lawyer so I will need to handle this Pro Se. I believe my best strategy is to file Motion of Contempt right away for violating our parenting plan by not advising me as the non-custodial parent of my ex wife's felony criminal history and serious problem with drugs. I can then file interrogatories relating to my daughters living situation, my ex's drug problems, any stints in rehab, etc. - at which point I will be better informed as to how I should proceed next.

Please help.

[ocean]

Do you have a visitation plan? How old is the child and when was the last time child saw you?

Filing contempt on not telling you will just be a slap and waste of your time. Where is child now? Has she been changing schools? Send letter from this site to get all school records (moves, addresses, absences).

Call a lawyer up in her area for a phone consult. Does her state show you when her criminal court dates are?

Really depends on what you want to do, if child is with grandparents and are safe, then change the child support to grandparents and increase time with you when child is not in school OR file for custody as mother has given child to grandparents and now in jeopardy of going to jail on her felony charges. Also can ask for drug testing in order for mother to continue to see child unsupervised. In the meantime, you can ask for the police in her area to do a welfare check if she is living with mom to see conditions of house if you think it is bad. You can also use the school social worker/nurse and look in to absences and if they have seen any neglect.

Could you calmly talk to grandparents and discuss (or send email) that you both want what is best for your daughter but that you need to know she is safe in their house?

Custody is really the issue if child is not with mother, so modification in custody to either you or the grandparents would need to be switched with the courts. Depending on how aggressive you want to be, you can file with CPS and emergency temp custody if child is still with mother. Good luck!