PAS and school issues

[jenkins9]

I need advice from anyone who has been down this road...I had full custody of my daughter when she was 4 but allowed her to stay with her mom....big mistake...anyway fast forward 6 years later. My ex allowed her mother and father to do some lewd act in front of my child at a birthday party, it happened and the school counselor agreed that it happened. I took my child away from the mom and she took me to court for custody. we had to do the family evaluation and the counselor said my daughter felt more comfortable with her mom, so I ended up with every other weekend. My issue is while my daughter was living with mom her grades have always been D or F marks, with the occasional C. I have always battled her on this. She does not put our childs education first. She has missed on average since 1st grade 25 days of school. She is now in the 6th grade. My daughter loves it at moms house because there are no rules, she runs the show. No accountability for homework or anything. mom does not even ask. We addressed this in our last modification, she had to have medical docs for all school days missed. she has been at a new school for 2 months and has missed 12 days, averaging 2 days a week. Her mom picks her up early and once picked her up early so she could see her dog. I told her this had to stop and i was taking her back to court. She has F marks for the year. I met with her teachers last week and found out mom has not even called or met with the teachers to voice any concern. Has anyone been down this road that has some sound advice for me? My daughter mom tells her that i am a sperm donor and is trying PAS..she denies my phone calls to my child and lies to her about me..any advice would be great.

[notnew]

No advice but words of experience.

different situation for me. BM has sole custody. Child absent/tardy over half of school  year. No medical reason. What did the court do? Nothing.

School contacted ME after mother not responding to them. THEN they changed child's attendance records and grades after the fact and let mother write excuses for absences 5 months past.

She went in and cried about what a bad guy I am and how my child has stress levels so high they make her sick by being forced to visit with me.

School and court bought that line of crap.

Now, I am not involved with my child at all. She is failing again and missing just as much if not more days of school. The only thing I can wait for is for the state to step in and take action thus allowing me to then take custody of my child. Until then, I just wait and watch.

In my state, not sending your child to school is a criminal offense IF the state's attorney decides to prosecute (not often), but not negligence in the care taking of a child. Nice huh?

You know you made a big mistake by allowing the kid to live with mom when you had been awarded full custody. It's too late now. I don't know what you can do other then document the conditions, and the denial of visitation/phone contact and haul her back into court for contempt as much as possible.

Repeated contempts can be cause to change custody. Take her in as often as you can in my opinion.

Do you have joint legal custody?

BTW - She isn't trying PAS - she is actively doing it.

My child is the same way. No rules with mom, running the show, etc. The court and custody evaluator all saw it. The last judge in the last hearing (critical decision making hearing), couldn't have cared less and overlooked it all.

You can only try to make things right, but you may not succeed and you need to realize that.

Save your pennies and get a good attorney. Stay as involved in your child's life as possible. If you ever get lucky enough to get custody again - NEVER LET GO.

[mistoffolees]

In addition to the above advice, keep regular contact with the teachers. Go to parent teacher meetings. If and when you drop the kid off at school, make a point of saying 'hi' to the teacher. Go to school activities if you can. You need to start establishing a record of trying to be involved in the child's schooling.