Question about school

[Justabovewater]

I talked to my Attorney yesterday, we have everything in place to go to court to try to get custody. He said that I have a Very good chance with all that has happened over the last 3 years. My Ex has told the kids that once they start school, a Judge will not take them out of school so there is no chance of me getting custody of them. She moved to another town in June with another boyfriend so I would not have time to fight it before school. My Attorney disagreed with this and said that if it is in the best interest for the children, that the Judge will have no problem taking them out of a school to put them in another. What do you guys think? Would that be a factor that could keep me from getting custody?

[MixedBag]

Well, there could be 100 different factors....

I was just researching your old posts to see your story...

Personally, the mother could come to court and make tons of promises that you know are empty promises in the end.  That in itself could make the judge say that nothing is gonna change.

New move...new school....new opportunity for the 14 year old to start?

Brace yourself....focus on the historical past and how that doesn't work for the older child -- not on the material things....like the roof over their head....and that you'r concerned the younger one will follow suit.

It's a toss up if you ask me.

[Justabovewater]

Will a Judge go back and review the case before we return to court? If he does, he will see that every promise that she has made was a empty promise. I guess I should say that she was found in 2 accounts of contempt yesterday. He knows that she will not follow through with anything she promises.

[ocean]

Yeah tough call...especially at 14. That child starts new jr high/high school and prob will not want to be pulled out. I have seen judges pull kids out for emergencies and at a big school break.

Like MB said, they will start school, mom will be good.

Do you have a court date yet? Can your lawyer ask for an emergency hearing as the children are being pulled out of their last school and put into another making this the xx school in xx years? Father requests children go to school in his district to keep them in same school district over time and have a more stable education.

What is she in contempt for?

[Justabovewater]

The problem with an Emergency hearing is that we are required to go through Mediation first. The Judge will demand this. My Attorney stated that he has set before this Judge many times and he has had several cases that the Judge has Said "It was your choice to put them in school and now I am making the decision to do what is in the best interest of the children and changing the custody order and moving them to a stable environment and school".

Contempt was Money that was owed to me through the Original Divorce that she hasn't made a payment on in 2 years. We went to court previously on the same contempt charges and she got a slap on the hand and was told if she missed one payment, she would be held in contempt. The other was not going by the order of the court to use the OFW website.

[ocean]

When can you get into mediation? It has been a month since you last posted and still no mediation? The only thing we learned when we did hire a lawyer is to tell them exactly what you want. Set up mediation NOW, no more hearings, let's do this so we can go ask for a hearing after if mediation fails.

Have you tried to offer her a deal with using the money she owes you to get custody of kids during school year? Offer her liberal visitation on weekends and school breaks. Give her a week to get back to you or you will file for mediation (do that anyway...can always cancel it).

[Justabovewater]

She and her Lawyer has been pushing mediation back for various reasons. Her Lawyer was sent a letter yesterday stating that they had a week to agree on a mediation date and to make it.

I will offer the money that is owed to me in Mediation, which is about 20,000. She knows that if she loses custody, she will be loosing over 2000.00 a Month, so Im sure she will not agree to it.

[ocean]

How come the judge could not off-set the child support with the money she owes you each month? That would eliminate the money exchanging hands...
You can also offer some of the child support to go to her even if you have custody so she is able to keep the same standard of living for them when they visit. That may be ordered anyway....
Change in custody is just very hard to get ordered without GAL's and social service involved. Ex may influence son in saying he wants to stay at new school....the courts usually never separate the kids. Between mediation and a few hearings to get to a trial, this may not be heard to next year. Each side can put a hearing date off to the next month...Family court is crazy!

[Justabovewater]

I have come to conclusion that asking why the courts do things they do is way beyond me. I understand that getting custody is a very hard thing to do. But with that said, I read the biggest reason that Fathers don't get custody is because they don't try. I will never stop trying to give my children the life that they deserve, so if it takes every last cent I have or can get, I will continue to fight for my children. I have no problem giving up child support and if it comes to that, I will do so. If I have to pay the Ex to get the children, I will do so. She has agreed to several things through text and email, its the problem of getting her to follow through with it. In mediation, there is someone there that can witness the agreement and have the paper work drawn up quickly so that everything she agrees to will happen.

[MixedBag]

I went to mediation twice with my EX#2 and both times it failed.  Alls the mediator could do was write a letter to the court and say it failed.

Round three and the newly elected judge ordered mediation and I (and I believe EX did too) wrote back and said that mediation is not requested due to two past failures and it wouldn't work this time either.  Judge finally agreed and set a hearing.

HONESTLY -- this is all a delay stall tactic.  By the time you "get to court" the child will have emancipated.

Call a duck a duck -- and push your attorney to get in front of a judge.

You may THINK your judge can see her lack of cooperation -- but unless you get it all into evidence via a hearing....and YES, my judge pulled our file (the thickest probably in the history of that county) before court and had a clue as to what was going on before walking into the room based on the motions filed.  I had a "prima facia" case going in (defending myself) and then went against an attorney hired by dad who spun it around and around.  Dad got a verbal reprimand which I considered a win -- but I also learned a lot about what the court wants to see and what the court doesn't care about.

And yes, subsequent rounds went more favorably in my direction.  But it took a few rounds....