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Non-cust parent using drugs while kids are in his care

Started by mommabear0213, Jan 20, 2016, 12:48:56 PM

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My children have always lived with me since I seperated from my ex. Last October I took him to court as a formaility so that it could be a written court order. I applied for Sole Legal Custody/ Joint Physical Custody and was awarded it. I paid an attorney to represent me, he did not.

So now only 3 months later there is more trouble!

There have been several instances in which it has been brought to my attention that their father is smoking marijuana AND selling it while the kids are at his house every other weekend. I could give specific instances but I'll spare the details to avoid a lengthy post.

This past weekend was the final straw. I pulled up to his house and text him that I was outside. As soon as the kids got into my car they wreeked of pot. Once we got home my oldest was unpacking his bag and pulled out a baggie with candy in it. There was actually a small amount of pot in the bottom of that baggie (obviously he used it for his stash previously). I took a picture as evidence and threw it away.

I don't care if people smoke pot, I don't even care if he does it. However, I am NOT okay with him doing these things while my kids are around. He only gets them a few days per month. Is it really that hard to refrain from smoking pot and selling it for those few days? I want to change my parenting plan/custody arrangement so that he only gets visitations on Sundays (supervised by his parents). However, I do not have the money to pay an attorney. I was thinking of applying pro-se however I do not know where to go from here. Should I call the police? DFS?

Any advice would be appreciated!

Kitty C.

One option you might have is to call law enforcement and ask to have a welfare check done on the kids.  Tell them why you need it.  They will go to his house and ask to see the kids....they may even take a K9 with them, who knows.

As for the 'evidence' that you had from their last visit, it won't make a difference if you throw it away.  If they come home with anything else like that again, call LE immediately and give them the evidence.  Also, if their clothing smells like they've been exposed, keep those to show to LE, also.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


I agree, if the next visit they smell like pot, go down the block , call local police and have them come and make a report. They will prob contact social service. Another option is to bring them straight to their doctor and have them report it. Do not throw away evidence.

How old are the kids in question? Old enough to talk to police?

CPS is good/bad to get involved. They will be the ones to suspend or tell him he needs supervised visits. They will do checks to his house (and yours probably).

Another option is to talk to your ex and state exactly what you said to us. Tell him that if this happens again (sell or smoke it with kids) that you will call the police and go back to court. Would that scare him into doing the right thing?  You can look online under crimes in your state and see if he has been charged with anything recently. You can use that in court too. Most states have an online system to look up defendants by name.


The kids are 10 and 7, old enough to speak to police. My oldest son is the one who has given me alot of information about the drugs.

I witnessed him sell drugs to a guy outside his house. Once that happened I called the police and made an anonymous report. I don't think anything came of that. I also told him that day that I would not tolerate any drugs around the kids. He dismissed me and acted like he did nothing wrong. He has no regard for the law. He's not afraid of any repercussions.

I have looked on Missouri Case Net, he does not have any new charges against him.