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order:sole custody & parental responsibility -no contact due several kidnapping

Started by sasa, May 29, 2016, 07:24:29 AM

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Well seems a clear case
here we go very briefly a long family ordeal :
the child at age 2 was kidnapped internationally several times,The non custodial parent changed the child name and his using make passports,then  the non custodial parent incarcerated
but the child do not known the other parent last time they met was 9 years ago.

the non custodial parent never tried to contact the child but recently due the custodial parent child support request
the parent instinct wake up-maybe most of you knows- if the court awarded a time sharing the child support payment goes up /down accordantly to.the non custodial requested custody modification.
I am sure the time share is not going to be awarded but maybe the supervised visitation which I believe is detrimental and not the best child interest to have contact with some one who is able to alienate the child and destroy the child peaceful balanced life
Now is no necessity to proof the right and wrong is it's done but how to make sure that the past is not going to be whipped off the non custodial has a pattern of abusive violent behavior-and very unethical past.
I am confided that those elements are essential but my attorney has a different opinion -past is past- people change-
I believe the nature is the nature a Lion can non become a kitty!


Did the Non-custodial parent file with the courts for parenting time? If not, they you are going to court for child support which is separate than visitation. If NCP files in court, you can ask for supervised but with child's therapist office until therapist agrees to regular supervised visits by a third party that you approve of. Your lawyer is right, if NCP files and follows through some supervised visits NCP may be able to get unsupervised in the future.


yes was filed in court for parenting time and child support modification after 9 years.
but no evidence of substantials changes have been proofed from the ncp
My intention is to oppose to the supervised visitations also
the child is no showing any kind of  interest to the ncp


Has NCP seen or contacted you to see child recently?
What is NCP asking for as far as visitation?

I am surprised the DA at the time did not get a restraining order for child against NCP for xx years after the charges/conviction happened.

Does NCP live near you? Have a job? Been out of trouble since then?
Usually they do a step up visitation when it has been so long. Maybe look into finding a good child therapist to help with this process. Interview a few without child, it takes time to find a good one.

Child is too young to decide any of this, so what the child says will not make the decision. Child will eventually want to know who the NCP is and what went on. Support a healthy relationship but in a safe way. If NCP really wants this, then show you/child but meeting with therapist at first to restart the relationship.

By you asking for modification, opened the doors up for NCP to ask for a parenting plan. (NCP could have asked at any time too).
Good luck


No contact since 9 years that means zero !

the ncp lives far from us I can file an injunction to the DV considering the strong interest showed recently
ncp no job, not to make for a living at least according to the financial affidavit statements,
the child knows what happened and he is in peace with that and he was in metal distress several times
No needs to aggravate the child again just to give a revenge chance to the ncp


I am not sure you'll find support to permanently remove a NCP from a child's life here at this site even in your circumstances.

I was trying to make sense out of your original post yesterday, but I was in a hurry.

Sounds like no-contact for 9 years.  (child is 11?)

Sounds like you asked for increased CS or CS period.

Sounds like the NCP is now asking for time with the child (after being absent for 9 years).

Sounds like the via therapist (local to the child) would be a GREAT IDEA.

Sounds like the NCP given the distance probably wouldn't do that.

Could happen via Skype.

Technology has changed over the years.

I'm not sure I would agree with your statement that the child is fine with "no biological NCP" in their lives....too many studies on adult children that would say otherwise.

How did I do?


actually the child never received CS payment as ordered by the court, in 9 years $ 1500 total

have not request any increase

The child is doing just great is receiving love -care  attention,education stability -respect,is just  fulfilled,

its not removing  when the ncp was never present is keeping the normal life

a parent absence happen in life  could be due death, sickness, or many other reasons how those kids do ? sometime a presence in not necessary a benefit/a plus, it is detrimental/not adequate  for the kids growth those adult children could very much agree on that. specially when parents abuse the kids to arm the other parent .
Why they do that ? well for sure is not normal

Parents are referral points for the kids growth in terms of emotional behavioral respect/regulatory
a huge responsibility many fail not sure why maybe they are not ready to be parents other ways will not make any sense why couple living together with kids, so parents both present in the kids life but they don't know them at all and the kids need a therapist
so far my consideration to the study

I am not sure about those studies you mentioned -this  case is very singular the ncp had a pretty much similar issue in a prior marriage-

I was looking to have more a legal input that personal opinions which considering the very little info shared
are unfourtunally adequate

you doing good !


None of us are attorneys.

My legal point of view is that the NCP will be granted some type of parenting time.  Might even be immediate contact if the NCP Claims you interfered (whether that's true or not). 

My legal point of view is that family court is like rolling the dice -- it's never cut and dry the way anyone thinks it is when they walk into a courtroom.


I agree and that is exactly what your lawyer is trying to tell you. He did his time for the crime and it was for taking child not abuse correct? Be prepared to have alternative visitation options ready to offer or you will be dealing with what the judge likes on that day.
Ex. Supervised visits in your area under therapist (but means you need to be proactive in finding someone now. Even if you dont bring child right away, find someone you are comfortable with and has your ways of thinking)

What exactly did the NCP write in his papers? What is he asking for?

We are not lawyers but most of us have been dealing with family court for over 10 years and most of us have represented ourselves in court verse paying a lawyer.