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Here we go again....

Started by Kitty C., Jun 23, 2016, 12:10:01 PM

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Would management allow a re-key then particularly if you tell them her stuff is being stolen?


Also here anyone can drop off petitions at the clerk office in family court. Can also be mailed ..

Kitty C.

They already had the locks changed!  I went to Mom's apt. after work last night to pick up some things for her and my key didn't work.  So I called the manager and she told me my B and SIL had it changed yesterday!  So DH and I go over to see Mom and they were there.  Their excuse:  so that no one (meaning me) can just arbitrarily go in and take whatever they want, that 'they' have to be present.  I also have to call Mom's atty. back....they said that having 2 names on a POA is unnecessary....if that's the case, why didn't the atty. tell me that last week?

B asked where Mom's silver flatware was...I told him that Mom gave me permission to take it.  His beef?  There's antique spoons from my great-grandmother in there and B was certain that DS would find them and pawn them!

I tried talking to my B, but he stormed out.  I was able to talk to my SIL and she promised to bring GD to us tomorrow night around 6 pm and pick her up from us Sunday night around 6 pm.  And that she would make sure I would be kept in the loop regarding decision-making about Mom.  Then she told me what I expected all along...BM and GD are now living with them.  SIL says that BM claims to 'be afraid' of us and I have NO clue as to why.  Intimidation was brought up and then it dawned on me one thing BM may have been worried about.  In Dec. and Jan., GD came to us with SEVERE diaper rash, almost to the point of blistering.  By the time we would take her back (in just 2 days) it would be noticeably better, but 2 weeks later, it would be bad again.  BM apparently told SIL that the pediatrician said GD had an allergy to the diapers (Huggies, which we still use), but if that was the case, why would the rash be clearing up by the time she leaves us?  I know the doctor didn't say that....it was BM's way of deflecting blame.  I'm a vol. EMT and a mandatory reporter...DH and I told her that it HAS to get resolved or we would be forced to report it.  Well, it got resolved...but now every time GD comes to us, she's incredibly thirsty!  I have a suspicion that a lot of it had to do with the daycare.  They weren't changing her enough, then they just stopped giving her liquids as much so they wouldn't have to change her so often.

When B stormed out last night, DH followed shortly after.  Later, DH told me what they talked about.  Apparently Mom had talked to them about all of us getting together with our pastor to get things out in the open and start the healing process.  B told DH that there better be a cop there.....obviously his anger towards DS goes to the core and Lord only knows if it will ever be resolved.  But I will do my best to facilitate it in any way I can.  As for the issues regarding Mom, I'm about ready to throw up my hands and tell them to do whatever they want....it's not worth fighting over.  They still say that my dad would be proud of what they're doing and I totally disagree.  Dad never held a grudge in his life and if he were here, I know it would have NEVER reached this far.  All I know is that B and SIL are conspiring with BM to severely control DS and us in our time with GD.  DS must file for custody soon, or he will end up being only a visitor in his child's life and our time with her will be controlled completely.

Sorry about the rant....don't really have any place else to vent about this....  Compared to DH's issues with SS's BM years ago, that was a piece of cake compared to this.   :'(
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


Kitty C.

Good news.....we did get to see GD this past weekend! My SIL brought her to us Friday night and picked her up Sunday evening.  And when she came to pick up GD, she had the willow bough rocker with her!  I told her that I had said they could keep it, but she told me it was my brother's decision as they are taking another large piece of furniture.  I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth and will not look into this for any other meaning....just take it at face value and be grateful.  :)

Since I will be gone the 21st thru 25th and DS will be on call that weekend, I asked SIL if we could switch weekends with BM.  She got back to me yesterday and said that BM was fine with that. So now, after not seeing GD for a month, we get to see her 2 weekends in a row!

As for the rest of it (the POA's, will, and Mom's property at her apt.), I'm just letting that go.  I had to do that for my peace of mind and to be able to live with myself.  I just hope that my brother can be civil enough to be able to work together to go thru her things.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

Kitty C.

Wow.....it goes from bad to worse.  I had asked last month to trade weekends, since I was out of town on the 23rd-24th.  I was told by my SIL that it wouldn't be a problem....I even mentioned that we would then have GD on the last weekend of July and the first weekend of Aug....she agreed.  So last Thurs., I texted her to find out when she would drop off GD to us on Friday. I was told by SIL that she wouldn't.  When I told her that this had been agreed to, she said she remembered that, but BM 'doesn't want to keep trading weekends, so this is the way it will stay.'  I told her to inform BM that her unwillingness to work with the father and denial of parenting time will not look good on her when a permanent custody order is being negotiated.  No response and no GD last weekend.

Then Sunday we went to church...it was the 150th anniversary and the church was packed.  We sat in the back row and I soon realized that B, SIL, GD and my mom (in a wheelchair) were about 10 rows ahead of us.  When it came time for Communion, SIL went up front with the praise band and B passed off GD to another parishioner (whom I know well) so he could take my mom forward.  So when it came time for me to go up, I had to walk right by GD.  She saw me right away, said 'Grandma!' and put her arms out to me.  I certainly wasn't going to tell her no...I didn't want her to pitch a fit in church, so I figured I could carry her through communion and hand her back to either B, SIL or the other parishioner. 

I walk up to one of the clergy when I feel GD being lifted out of my arms....it was my brother!  I was so stunned that I couldn't say anything and just turned back to the clergy, who had a question on his face like what just happened.  When I got back to DH, he said that as soon as I took GD in my arms, SIL was waving at B to go get GD.  Mind you, this all happened literally right in front of God and the entire congregation!  I have no idea what they were thinking....that I would leave with her? DH said that they probably think the no contact order between DS and BM also includes us and GD and it doesn't.  There is nothing stopping DH or I from seeing, playing or holding GD at any other time other than DS's weekends.  The lady who was sitting next to DH and I (and was right behind me in the communion line) asked 'Isn't she your granddaughter?'  When I told her yes, she asked what just happened.  I told her that it's a long story, but suffice it to say that my B and SIL hate me.

And GD's 2nd birthday is on Sept. 3rd.  I figured out why BM doesn't want to switch weekends anymore...because right now, she will have GD for EVERY major holiday for the rest of the year except for New Year's Eve.  So since GD's birthday falls on a weekend DS can't have her, will they make an accommodation to allow him to see her, even if it's part of a day?  And if she offers the same thing as Father's Day (TWO HOURS!), I will tell her that's a slap in the face.  I plan to start contacting BM next week via text....there's nothing legal that says I cannot contact her.  And if I get no response, I will stop at her work place.  And if they (BM, B and SIL) refuse to address it, it's one more violation to add to the contempt order we already have filled out and just waiting to file.  I told DS that we should wait until after GD's birthday....because if they refuse for her birthday, we will then have 4 violations of the no contact order and it was only updated at the end of June.  So if this is the way they are going to operate (doing their best to keep GD out of DS' and grandparents lives), they will have to answer for it in court.

And sooner or later, I will have to confront my B and SIL about all this....because I get this impression that they're trying to drag my name thru the mud.  We live in a very rural, tight-knit community and I am a vol. EMT....if they are trying to slander my name, they will answer for that, too.

Thank you for letting me vent..... >:(
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......