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Right to phone calls?

Started by dontgiveup, Dec 28, 2003, 02:28:57 PM

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My ex has just recently stopped allowing me to speak to my daughter on the phone.  Previously, we agreed that we would be able to call her from 6 to 8 pm whenever we did not have parenting time.

Unfortunately, my ex usually grills or yells at my daughter whenever she calls during my parenting time.  So my daughter usually says "I don't want to talk to Mommy."  About a week ago, she stopped answering her home phone and has my number blocked on her cell phone.  When I picked her up on Christmas morning, my daughter told me, "Mommy says that she is not going to call me anymore because I always hang up on her, and you aren't allowed to call me anymore either."

Today I was told to stop interfering with her visitation time.  

Our divorce decree does not include any comment about phones calls.  It doesn't say that we can call or that we can't call.  My ex says that because the divorce order doesn't say it, I am violating her visitation time.

Are there any laws in New Jersey that say I have the legal right to call her?  Is there anything that I can do to fight this?  My daughter has to deal with a lot of poison and garbage against me.  Our daily phone calls are one of the things that keeps her grounded when we are apart.  She is only four, but she told me just before her mother picked her up yesterday, "Don't give up trying to call me.  Don't ever give up."


Don't know NJ laws, but...I guess my first thing would be that I would send her a letter, reg. return receipt stating my intentions to call the child, and that you expect her to answer the phone and turn the phone over to the child.  

I would also explain that the CP DOES NOT have visitation, they HAVE the child!  

If that doesn't work (and I wouldn't bet on it) so get right on down to see your attorney after you lick the stamp on that letter, and have your attorney draw up a modification to the order adding that you have phone visitation with child on these days (based on history, you MAY be able to get every day) at these times.  Then, once that is done, you file contempt charges on her for missed phone calls (although it is doubtful they will do anything).

Also, you need to encourage your dtr to talk to mommy.  I have a problem with a 4 year old not wanting to talk to EITHER parent at this age, it usually indicates PAS, and if YOU are doing that, YOU won't get any help here, regardless of your sex!

Last resort, get her a cell phone, have it programmed so it can only call your number and recieve calls from your number.  Show her how it works, give her a charger (are 4 year olds too young to plug stuff in???) and hope the bm doesn't put it in the trash.  


Let me clarify that I do encourage her to talk to her mom.  Whenever she doesn't want to talk, I tell her to tell her mother about something exciting we did that day.  Nine times out of ten, her mother hangs up as soon as she hears "I don't want to talk to Mommy."  Or she hangs up if my daughter says something she doesn't like or talks about me.  This really breaks that little girl's heart.  She thinks Mommy is hanging up on her because "Mommy doesn't like her anymore."

I try to be very supportive of their relationship together.  I know she loves her mom and their relationship together is very important to her development.  I have even called back many times if I thought they didn't talk very long or if I missed her calls the first time.


I dont have any great advice but you may want to bring up to the mother that if your number is blocked how would you contact her in the event of an emergency.

Maybe you can set up a night a week or whatever for phone contact.



my YSS is 3 (almost 4) and doesn't want to talk to ANYONE on the phone. it doesn't interest him. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Barney the dinasaur... it doesn't matter. It may be the age.