Need some opinions, please.........

[Kitty C.]

We have SS this weekend, and tho it's hotter than Hades and the humidity is just as high right now, there's a front moving thru and it will be the complete opposite this weekend.  Highs in the 70's and low humidity.

And SS's Tae Kwon Do group is having a swimming and pizza party Sat. night from 8-10 pm.  He's asked DH if we would take him.  Normally I have NO problem with SS's events, at least his ball games, because PBFH at least now gives us a schedule so we know when they are.

BUT regarding Cub Scouts and TKD, she won't tell us SQUAT.  SS marched in a nearby town's parade and the TKD group did a demo right after a couple weeks ago, and if I had't been there for something else, we'd have never known about it!  What's even more frustrating is that we live in a VERY small, rural community (2300+ pop.)  We've been to ONE CS event, about 3 years ago, and PBFH blew a gasket.  DH has NEVER seen one of his TKD demos, and I've only seen two, just because I happened to find out about it the LAST minute, and DH was gone.

Asking SS to let us know when these events are is not feasible right now, either.  PBFH seems to keep him in the dark as to when things are going on, just so that he can't tell us ahead of time.  He KNOWS something will be happening, he just doesn't have dates and times.  Which is why we never find out about things happening on OUR weekends until SS calls us a couple days before and asks DH to take him.  I am assuming that when SS gets older, especially in his teens, that will all change, but we're missing out on SO much now.........

I have a lot of misgivings in taking SS Sat. night.  My main one is with the weather.  By the time of the pool party, it's gonna be CHILLY.  I know that other kids will be there with their parents, BUT they have legal rights and I don't.  And even if DH takes him, I feel we're being set up.  Because if SS comes home with a sniffle, PBFH is gonna climb up DH's backside for 'allowing' SS to get SO ill, never mind that even if we don't take him, she's gonna be pissed, too.  Plus, there's every reason to believe she'll be there, too.  I prefer to avoid her like the plague and so would DH.

And if SS does get sick, PBFH will do EVERYTHING within her power to make sure he's still TOO sick to go with us on our camping trip next Thurs.  Never mind that we ARE fully capable of taking care of a sick child, even on vacation (who hasn't done that?).  And never mind that she will have one VERY pissed off boy on her hands!

So what do we do?  Allow him to go, with the good possibility of him (and every other kid there) getting sick, thus possibly PBFH keeping him from going camping with us next weekend?  Or keep him home (maybe making other plans, we've done that before), still incurring PBFH's wrath, but insuring that he's healthy enough to go camping?

And maybe we'll get lucky and they'll reschedule???

[Peanutsdad]

Catch 22. Damned if you do,, damned if you dont.

I say,, do. Let him go to the pool party. It wont be THAT cool out.

Besides, if mom denies ,,, file contempt. She BETTER have a freekin note from a doctor stating the boy is far too sick to even move.

[Bolivar OH]

Everything Peanutsdad said goes for me.

I know......... I am being boring.  I was in TKD, and other stuff, and those parties are a blast.  I understand about not wanting to deal with PBFH crap.  Got-No psychology tricks for that one.  As for the sick part don't worry, kids are very resilient.


Oh yea, it's nice to experience the warm and fuzzy side of Kitty C. :-)  However, I know what your capable of and I wouldn't tangle with you. :-)

LOL :-)

[janM]

You don't catch a cold from being chilly. You get it from someone who has one.

[msme]

Take him to the party. tell him that you think it is a bit chilly for swimming but you know how important it is to him. Take along a flannel sheet, fold it up in a bag & sit on it. Tell him that when he gets cold, to get out & you will get him warmed up. When he needs it, the flannel sheet will be nice & warm. Wrap him up & wrap up the day.

Next week, when she tries to deny, you just tell her that it is his father's time & you are well qualified to care for him. If he is not ready when you pick him up, tell her to hand him over or you will bring an ambulance & the sheriff. If he is so sick that he cannot be moved to his father's care, then he needs to be in the hospital & you will see that he gets there.

Don't know if it will work but seems like a good idea.

Good luck & God bless.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[smtotwo]

and next time psychomommy tries to pull that DH and I are absolutely going to use this !!!

[nosonew]

Since she won't tell you about the activities, YOU MUST take matters into your own hands and contact the TKD people and ask for info yourself.  Knowing bb isn't going to give you the info until the last minute is no excuse, you live in a small town...how hard can it be to find out who is teaching his class?  Same goes with all of his other activities...be responsible for what he needs to do while on your time.  

And Im with all the other posters, let him go to the party.  You and dh go too You apparently need to meet his friend's parents, his instructors, etc.  That is the ONLY way you will become and be perceived by others as ACTIVE in his life!

[msme]

When my grandson was in Cubs, the Den Leader's wife sent out a weekly email that listed everything that had happened & everything that was coming up. Get in touch with the Den Leader & ask to be emailed all info.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[Kitty C.]

Yeah,  I know!  And with living with PBFH and a 4 y.o. HB, SS comes to our house ALL the time with a stuffy nose.  He uses more tissues than DH, DS, and I put together!  With that, DH and I were both afraid that he'd come down with a full blown cold.

SS solved the problem anyway..he forgot his trunks!  And it was DAMN chilly that night here!  We haven't heard (and probably won't if they only contact PBFH), but I wouldn't be surprised at all if they rescheduled it.

[Kitty C.]

SS solved the problem anyway..he forgot his trunks!  And it was DAMN chilly that night here!  We haven't heard (and probably won't if they only contact PBFH), but I wouldn't be surprised at all if they rescheduled it. The temps were in the low 60's, high 50's and there were some record lows set that night in a few places in the state!  SS did ask DH if he could go over to PBFH's and get his trunks that evening, but DH put his foot down and said no.  And what was really weird was that it never fazed SS in the least.

But we had bigger problems!  We took SS and DS out to my in-laws farm yesterday afternoon (DH and I had someplace else to go for a couple hours) and SS was given STRICT orders NOT to ride either the dirt bike or the 4-wheeler.  Well, he did anyway, went thru some pine branches, and now looks like he tangled with a slasher!  He's got little cuts all over his face and arms! And because of a couple on his nose, there's even a possibility that he might get a black eye out of it!

I was horrified, and just certain that when PBFH saw it when she picked him up that she'd go berzerk........but she didn't!  She was more concerned about some girl dropping off notes to SS to give to DS.  Maybe it just hadn't sunk yet, I don't know!  I guess we'll find out when DH picks him up Wed. night for our camping trip!